                                Star Wars 

                           Wizard's RPG Stories

          source : http://www.wizards.com/default.asp?x=starwars/newsarchive
          upload : 10.IV.2006


     A Mother's Memoirs

     Scenario Supplement for the "Forces of Cularin" Trilogy

     By Morrie Mullins Former Living Force Plot Director and Campaign Designer

     Former Living Force Plot Director and Campaign  Designer  Morrie  Mullins
presents the latest in our monthly series of  supplements  to  the  campaign's
newest scenarios. In "A Mother's Memoirs," the Tarasin Dariana, Mother of  the
Hiironi, breaks with tradition and begins recording her memoirs in  electronic
form. This supplement ties into the January Living Force trilogy,  "Forces  of
Cularin."





     Dariana, Mother of the Hiironi, has been ill for some time. She has  seen
as much, and done as much, as any Tarasin alive today - -  with  the  possible
exception of her older sister, Liriana. Unlike  her  sister,  though,  Dariana
still believes in the innate goodness of the galaxy in which  she  lives.  She
has seen a darkness, though - - some of it her sister's, and some of it darker
still - - that threatens to engulf everything she loves.

     She has broken with tradition and is recording her memoirs in  electronic
form. In this excerpt, she discusses her youth, mistakes she made, and how she
began to grow into the Mother she is today.

     It will be no new thing when I am criticized  for  submitting  my  life's
story to this squawking, beeping bit of metal and crystal. My children - - and
they are many, and I love them all - - know me for what I  am.  A  Mother  who
tries, and who sometimes succeeds, and sometimes fails. They  know  me  for  a
mortal.

     Being mortal, I have been criticized in the past for  my  decisions,  for
not working harder to unify the Tarasin, for not fighting harder  against  the
incursions of the offworlders, for fighting too much against the incursions of
the offworlders - - I have been criticized before. When I record my life  here
{there is a tapping sound, slowly, of an old finger against the  side  of  the
recording mechanism} rather than trusting our oral  traditions  to  pass  down
what I have learned, I can never claim to be surprised if this angers some - -
or many - - of my children.

     The future is so clouded, though. Darkness is everywhere. For  the  first
time in my life, I cannot see that the Tarasin will continue to exist, and  if
we die out, then the wisdom of our kind will be lost to  the  galaxy  forever.
Such recordings as this, though, are timeless.

     It is sad. Wisdom comes and goes. Technology lives on.  And  without  the
latter, without something made by the hands of the living, the  knowledge  and
strength of the living cannot endure. Not as they used to.

     I am hopeful that a question in  your  mind  is,  "Why,  Mother,  do  you
believe your wisdom and your life are so important, where the wisdom and lives
of others were not?"

     The answer is, I do not. I record my own life now, but as I speak, I will
record other stories, pieces of legend, parts of the history  of  the  Tarasin
that deserve to be included in this device. When I finish speaking of  my  own
life, I will speak of the lives of others, some who were Mothers of one irstat
or another, some who never aspired to be more  than  hunters  or  warriors  or
wives or husbands. I will speak of those who were lost to us, and those who we
found, not born to the Tarasin way, with no kampo [ed:  this  is  the  Tarasin
head-fan, for which no name was previously provided] or  sa'tosin  [ed:  these
are the quills that grow from the backs of the Tarasin forearms;  again,  this
is the first recording of the  name  given  them  by  the  Tarasin],  but  who
nonetheless understand the heart of the Tarasin people. Our heart is  Cularin,
and long may she spin through the stars, and long may she gaze up at her  twin
suns, and long may her forests be warm and lush and support the  life  of  the
world.

     My life... I do not view my life as something special. Those who  operate
this device seem to think otherwise, but I know the truth.  I  have  lived  as
best I could, and when I die,  it  will  be  with  no  regrets,  except  that,
perhaps, had things been different, I might have had one more day  to  attempt
to do good.

     Many things have been said of me. There are always rumors of how  one  in
power came to be in power. Perhaps I will speak of these things. Perhaps  not.
It does depend, I suppose, on where the story takes me.  "Forces  of  Cularin"
Trilogy Summary Premiering at Winter Fantasy 2003, "Forces of  Cularin"  takes
the heroes into the heart of the Tarasin lands  for  a  trio  of  events  that
explores the origins of the stuff of nightmare for the Tarasin - - a nightmare
that comes to life. And before it's all over, the heroes must bid farewell  to
an old friend... Begin with Episode I: Force Concession, continue with Episode
II: Force Contention, and wrap it up with Episode III: Force Convention!

     When I was young, I looked at the females of our irstat and saw  them  to
be strong and proud. They led the Hiironi with wisdom and compassion, and  the
males looked to them for guidance. I wanted to grow to  become  one  of  those
females. I sometimes fantasized about being Mother, but it would never  be  so
simple as wishing, and having it suddenly be so.

     One does not become Mother, after all, because it is what  one  wants.  I
recall a talk I had with my own mother, the one who birthed  me,  when  I  was
perhaps ten years of age.

     "Mother," I said, "when I grow up I want to lead the irstat."

     She shook her head. "No, Dariana. If that is what you want, it will never
be."

     I looked at her in puzzlement, and she smiled. She had a kind smile,  and
kinder eyes, and I knew that she had not meant to hurt me. Still, I recall the
feeling of emptiness as my mother seemed to rip the dream from my grasp.

     "You become the Mother of the Hiironi  because  it  is  what  the  irstat
wants. What you want is not important. What is best for you  is  not  in  your
hands to decide. You are part of something much greater. We are  Tarasin.  We,
of all the species who have come to Cularin, have survived in  these  jungles.
Do you know why?"

     "Because we are smarter than the others," I told her. She  did  not  like
this answer.

     "We are not smarter. We are not wiser,  we  are  not  stronger.  We  have
survived here because we are right for this place. We did not choose  Cularin.
Cularin chose us. Just so, you cannot choose to be a leader of the irstat. The
irstat chooses you."

     I do not actually know how long it took me to understand  her  words.  It
was not quick, I am sure. I did not put aside my dreaming. How does  one  stop
dreaming of one's heart's desire? But I did stop speaking of it, and in  time,
I found myself doing what must be done because it was the right thing  to  do,
and not because I had any desire to become something greater than myself.

     That was one of the lessons I needed to learn. One should never strive to
be greater than one's self, because the self is inherently the greatest  thing
in the universe. We exist as potential - - I have heard Jedi speak  of  us  as
"luminous beings," creatures that transcend the frail and imperfect bodies  we
inhabit - - but many of us never see this. Many of us do not believe  that  we
are more than what we see, more than the flesh we feel, more than the blood we
bleed. This is only one way that our essence, that which ties us to the Force,
may manifest.

     It began in dreams, in which I saw myself among the stars, and instead of
feeling alone, I felt as though I were a part of each of them. In the night, I
would dream, and I would find the stars, and I would  find  a  silvery  strand
connecting myself to one of them, or another, until one night I saw that I was
at the center of an enormous web, much like a jornisae spider's. The  web  ran
from my own core to every one of the stars, and from there, to  other  glowing
essences, and then I realized with more than a little horror that I  was  not,
after all, at the center of the web. My vision pulled back and I saw myself as
one point where a handful of threads met in a web that stretched from one side
of the galaxy to the other, containing all living things.

     I saw the power, and I knew the potential of the Force, but I  was  young
and foolish and lacking in self-control. Knowing the interconnectedness of all
things, I reasoned that this put the life and death of every creature  in  the
universe in the hands of every other creature  in  the  universe.  Ultimately,
this is true, but it should have forced me to recall my mother's words. It did
not.

     I was walking one night between irstats, returning home from a  visit  to
the Nobuuri, when I heard something moving through the underbrush. It did  not
make quite so much noise as one of the great kilassin, but after dusk, even  a
pack of mulissiki can be a danger to a young Tarasin.

     Something stepped from between the trees before me, blocking my path.  It
was a kilassin, but a young one, probably not quite a year. Still, it eyed  me
hungrily, and I knew that it would eat me if given the chance.

     I could not outrun the kilassin, and no trees suitable for climbing  were
nearby, and I had no weapon other than a short  spear  that  I  carried  as  a
walking stick. I have never been much with weapons, though.

     I looked at the kilassin and saw the hunger in its eyes, and I raised  my
hand and thought of the web of which I was a part, drawing power  from  it  to
kill this creature before it killed me. Then I closed my fingers.

     The sensation sickens me, even as a  memory.  I  felt  my  fingers  close
around something soft, but tough. I saw the kilassin's eyes widen, and then  I
squeezed, and it shrieked, and then it fell over, dead. I had killed it. There
was no blood on my hands, but I had never felt so unclean.

     My mother had spoken truly. I was  not  wiser  than  that  creature,  nor
smarter, nor stronger. By rights, I should have died that day. I  did  not.  I
drew upon something dark, something wrong, to keep myself alive. That was  not
my decision, though. It should never have been  my  decision.  The  lives  and
deaths of other creatures are linked to us, but not  in  a  way  that  we  may
control. Every death of another creature  is  a  death  in  the  Force,  which
affects us all. Every birth, every life that  is  well-lived,  strengthens  us
all.

     For now, I grow tired. Perhaps I will speak more of this later. But  this
- - this is enough speech, for one day.

     If you want to learn more about the Living Force campaign and how to take
part in the adventure, this introduction will get you started.