Random Treasure Table d1000 
Specifically Nephilidian Item: Roll d8 here
Random Items: roll d100+500 here Random Potion: roll d100+600 here Interesting Book: roll d100+700 here Magic Weapon: roll d100+800 here Other Magic Items: roll d100+900 here 
1. Mantle of the Ray—This smoothly-textured cloak will be found rolled tightly in a fat scrollcase. It will immediately bond to whoever puts it on and cannot be removed for 24 hours thereafter. It grants the wearer the following abilities:
-Water breathing
-Infravision in water
-Swim at 120’
-Deliver a stinging touch once every 10 minutes doing 2d6hp damage
However the mantle will slowly encourage the wearer to believe they are a manta ray and they will require a wisdom check during any stressful situation (combat, for instance) to do anything that manta rays don’t do, including cast spells, speak, or fight when running away would be easier. The wearer is allowed a check each round.

2. Nephildian Sleeve—This variety of long glove reaches nearly to the shoulder and have the runes of strange magic worked into their lace. When pulled on, the wearer’s arm immediately self-amputates and becomes an eye of dread under the wearer’s control. The user may see through the creature’s eye. Only one of them may act in a combat round. The creature may reattach at any time up to an hour—if it is gone longer the separation is permanent.

3. Dissolving Cubes—A blue velvet-lined case containing 6 translucent cubes of different colors, the size of ice cubes. Each has a different effect upon contact with water…

-Ice-9, turns water into a form of room-temperature ice. It doesn’t work on, like, the moisture and water inside someone’s body, just on open water, extends to 30’ radius.
-Healing salts, heals d8 hp to everyone within 5’.
-Blood smell, attracts random encounters.
-Electrical charge does d12hp to everyone in a 10’ radius.
-Purify Water—10’ radius.
-Forms a water wyrd.

Chipping off a small piece will allow a PC to test the effect.

4. Gospel of Slime Sacred text of the Nephilidian sect of the Spider Church, her clerics gain an extra Cause Serious Wounds, Curse, or Power Word spell once per day and a level. It also contains the spells listed under Scrolls below. Any other caster gains 1000xp. 

5-8 Scrolls—these phonetically-written spells can be found on scrolls throughout Nephilidia. They may be cast once by any character able to read the common trade tongue, or transcribed by a magic-user for use at the given level., but not both. The scroll disintegrates after use or transcription.

5. Eelcurse
Level: 3
Duration: Permanent Range: 50’
Save: None
Area of effect: One creature
Any creature of 5 hit dice or less that the target touches or anyone the target kills in mêlée will immediately erupt in a mass of writhing pale lamprey eels that attacks the nearest enemy 4 times per round at +10 to hit for d6 points of damage. The creatures have hit points, Armor and speed as the original creature but will die after 4 rounds. They will automatically win initiative unless the target takes precautions. Remove Curse will end this awfulness.

6. Gout Of Corruption
Level: 5
Duration: Instantaneous
Save: Yes
Area of effect: 10’ wide, 50’ long path or 500 cubic feet
: Bishop vomits a small steaming river of putrescent ooze. Evmust save (by dodging) or inhale the miasmatic white goo. This causes damage as Cause Serious Wounds and causes the victim to lose a point of Wisdom per day until they drink holy water or until Remove Curse, Cure Disease or similar magic is cast. All objects in the Gout are corroded beyond use unless they are magic or magically protected. Any holy object touching the substance becomes unholy. 

7. Touch of Antithesis
Level: 5
Duration: Instantaneous
Save: No
Area of effect: A single enemy Cleric touched cannot use or be affected by any divine magic for two days. This spell can be learned by clerics.

8. White Tentacles 
Level: 3
As Web, inflicts d6 damage per round of entrapment.

9-99 Key. Roll d100. (roll d100 and have the player write it down. Don’t tell them this but that is the chance the key will open any ordinary lock in the nearest ordinary locked door. Once used, it won’t work on any other door.) 
100-500 Amount of gp worth number just rolled x 10 
501-600 Random items (some are minor magic) 
501-502 Candle-eels—d8 fatty fish that can be burned and last as long as a torch.
503-504 Map showing (only) the path from one of this area’s exits to the closest other exit.
505 Silver dagger and sprig of wolvesbane.
506-507 Glowstone. Provides 5’ of blue light when wet.
508-509 Taskmaster dust--put it on yourself (first) and then someone else and you'll be able to copy their dex for the rest of the day. 2 doses.
510-511 Goblin moon putty: fix any broken thing which uses gears with a tinkering roll.
512-514 Grappling hook, 50’ rope, dagger, backpack
515-516 Net
517 Drafts of semi-literate marriage proposal written by last intelligent creature PC’s killed.
518 Elephant’s tusk knife.
519 Sketches, clearly from life and by a talented hand, depicting daughter of a noble house in compromising positions.
520-521 Small mirror.
522 D10 x 100 living snails with specially-made shells cast from pure silver worth 1 sp. Snails are sentient, communicate
telepathically, and will beg PCs not to trade them away.
523-525 Padlock (Strength 17) and key.
526-530 d6 Days rations and fresh water
531-532 Partial and crappy map of this area. To simulate it, any player is allowed to look at the GM’s map for a number of seconds equal to their PC’s intelligence divided by 2.
533 Bag of flour
534 Bear trap
535 d4 vials of acid (d8 damage to flesh)
536-37 Bag of marbles
538 Small glass sphere filled with water and lodestone shavings. Works as a compass.
539-540 Telescope
541 Caltrops and 700gp
542 Jar of black ink
543 Spare suit of leather armor
544 Spare suit of chain armor
545 Jar of angry bees
546 Wax seal of the Goblin King (goblins will obey any order written there if its sealed) Enough wax for 2 impressions
547 Alchemist’s kit
548-549 Severed head (nearest species besides this one)
550 Cat in a box
551-553 561 Brick of salt
562 Box of chalks
563 Svengali deck for performing card tricks
564 Stoppered tank of helium (enough for one pig-sized balloon)
565 Recipe for elephant-shaped cake involving three hit points of blood and 3 drops of sweat.
When baked, it will know whatever the blood donor knows and will answer whatever questions about that information the sweat-donor asks. This information is in the recipe.
566 Vial containing fresh human blood
567 3.5 liters of glue.
568 Scrawled note: “Crypt Lord in library”
569 Scrawled note: “Dragon on the last level”
570 Scrawled note: “Some goblins are nilbogs and attacks heal them”
571 Scrawled note: “Manticores love poems” 
572 Scrawled note: “Toad gods hate the Insect Cult”
573-575 Blonde halfling mead from the Pudding Coast, 6 bottles
576-578 Heavy ale from the Dwarves of the Freak Mountains, 6 bottles
579 Anesthetized bats held in individual baseball-sized cheesecloth nets. Throwing them with full strength will wake them up in midflight. They are bloodthirsty and will attack whatever they're thrown at. 5hd total.
580 Smoking tobacco and pipe
581 Baby
582 10’ of chain
583 Pulley
584 100’ of string and a fishhook
585 Bag of living worms
586-587 Poisoner’s ring
588 Crumpled musical composition in unknown notation. Any bard can roll an intelligence check + (level divided by 3) to understand it. Playing it will require will require 8 hours of intensive study as well as modifications to any musical instruments present requiring 3 hours of peaceful, solitary work. The song, when finally played, will cause all intelligent creatures within hearing range to go "Wow. That's a song alright. I'm so glad we brought you down here."
It resembles "Pop Goes The Weasel" in most important respects.
589-590 Vial containing a form of perfect glue. Sets instantly and covers 1' square area.
591 Animated severed hand (1 hd). Obeys whoever finds it.
592 Fancy hinged box. Inside is an elaborately-wrought carved scalpel and illustrated instruction book (in a foreign tongue) in a velvet-lined case. The scalpel can be used to remove an eye from any creature (of roughly equal size) and insert it into another creature's head, enabling them to use any vision-related abilities or gaze attacks of that creature. The surgeon can't be either patient and must make a dexterity roll. Rolling over dex means the operation fails and causes d20 hp damage. Rolling under causes d20 minus (number of points under dex rolled) hp. Works once. Whenever the recipient of the new eye rolls a 1 it means the new eye has rebelled and will spend the next d4 rounds causing as much trouble as it can for the PC.
593 Claw shoes: d4 on a kick, advantage to climb checks. They have a hinged platform you can fold over to walk on floors.
594 Frost mask. This icy substance, when painted over a creature's eye will lighten and twist it into a shape which frightens fire. No flames, magical or otherwise will come within 5 feet of the creature. Lasts 1 day. 3 doses.
595-596 Halfling Pie from the Pudding Coast. Carefully wrapped and unaccountably fresh. “Just” a pie but anyone who’s been in a dungeon or away from good food more than a day will give quite a bit to get their face into one.
597 Null paint. This substance will only function if applied to living flesh. Any part of the body covered in this paint becomes nonreflective black and intangible. Weapons cannot be held in a painted hand, clothing cannot be worn over a painted body part (it will pass through), etc. If painted over sensory organs they become useless. If painted in a stripe pattern on the skin then items may be held or worn and 50% of all piercing or slashing attacks will pass harmlessly through the wearer. Lasts one day.
598-599 Net trap kit. Tripwire activated, catches up to 4 humanoids.
600 Diary of dead adventurer describing nearest/this dungeon in sketchy detail (mostly worthless but has 2d20% chance of working on any device the PCs consult it about. HOWEVER, once it works, that's it.) 
601-700 Potions 
601 D4 aqua-green potions: each heals d6.
602 Acid resistance potion (half damage lasts and hour)
603 Aging Potion (double your age permanently)
604 Digestive juices of a rustbeast.
605 Amputation Potion (save or lose a random limb)
606-607 Antidote Potion (cures any poison)
608 Vial of liquid shadow. Not the kind in Ptolus, which just gives you a bonus to shadow magic (though it does that, too, why not?). This stuff can be used to create a deep shadow--about twice human-sized--where there shouldn't be one. A thief can hide in it as if it were an ordinary shadow, at -20%. It can also be used to move from any liquid shadow to any other pool of liquid shadow the character knows about. It can also be used to replace a lost shadow.
609 Blindness Potion (save allowed)(lasts an hour)
610 Charisma Potion (score: 18 lasts an hour)
611 Clairaudience Potion (like Clairaudience but lasts 10 minutes and you can only hear, not see)
612-614 Cold resistance Potion (half damage lasts and hour)
615 Constitution Potion (score:18 lasts an hour)
616 Pinking Draught (You think it’s exactly the potion you want but it isn’t, the delusion lasts an hour)
617 Dexterity Potion (score: 18 lasts an hour)
618 Disenchantment Potion (makes a magic item nonmagic)
619 Electricity resistance Potion (half damage lasts and hour)
620 ESP Potion (as Clairvoyance spell, lasts ten minutes)
621-622 Extra Eye Potion (rub it on and get an eye wherever you want, advantage on perception checks)(permanent)
623 Potion reincarnates you as the last thing under 10hd that you killed. 
624 Fire Breathing Potion (save or take 3d6, lasts ten minutes) 625-626 Confusion (as spell, lasts 5 rounds)
627-628 Frog tongue Potion (you get a long sticky tongue—6’, forever) 629 Fumbling Potion (Dex 3 for an hour) 
630 Growth Potion (as Enlarge spell, ten minutes)
631-632 Healing Potion (d8+1 or removes a condition)
633-634 Heat Resistance Potion (half damage from heat for an hour)
635 Inflation Potion (you’re super-fat for an hour, you can be rolled around)
636 Infravision Potion (lasts a day)
637 Intelligence Potion (Int 18, lasts a day)
638 Invisibility Potion (as the spell)
639-640 Invisibility to Demons Potion (as the spell but only on demons)
641-642 Invisibility to Fae Potion (as the spell but only on fae, kinda works on elves and goblins, too—they perceive you at disadvantage)
643-644 Invisibility to Reptiles Potion (as the spell but only on reptiles)
645-646 Invisibility to Undead Potion (as the spell but only on undead)
647 Invulnerability Potion (lasts 5 rounds)
648 Vial of medusa tears. Application to a body part will turn it to stone for 5 minutes. 2 hand-sized doses.
649 Laughter Potion (save to get anything done each round except laugh, lasts 5 rounds)
650 Looks similar to healing potions but it’s actually a love potion. Drink it and fall in love with whoever last wounded you.
651 Love Potion (lasts a day)
652 Vial of mirror water. Anyone reflected in a puddle of mirror water must face the evil clones of themselves who crawl out of it.
653 Madness Potion (lasts a day, you can’t do anything helpful to your allies)
654-655 Detect Magic Potion (as spell, lasts 10 minutes)
656 Muteness Potion (lasts an hour)
657 Oil of Sharpness (put it on a weapon, it inflicts +5 damage)
658-659 Oil of Slipperiness (perfect lubricant, permanent)
660 Vial of infinite water. A puddle of infinite water is a shaft as deep as an ocean.
661 Oil of Mouths (as 537 above)
662-663 Poison (save or d20hp)
664 Polymorph Potion (as spell, lasts 10 minutes)
665 d6 vials of holy water
666 Prophecy Potion (your eyes go milky and you deliver a Fortune as in Vornheim, if you don’t have it, buy one from me)
667-668 Purify Food and Water Potion (as spell)
669 Regeneration Potion (regrow lost body parts and 3d6 damage)
670 Remove Paralysis Potion
671 See Invisible Potion (lasts an hour)
672-673 Shark Teeth Potion (inflict 2d6 on a bite, lasts a day)
674 d6 vials of unholy water
675 Shrinking Potion (as Reduce spell, lasts an hour)
676 Language in a bottle. GM’s choice which.
677 Sleep Potion (as spell cast by a 5th level wizard)
678 Oil of Disruption (Rub it on a weapon and it does triple damage to undead and acts as a magic weapon. Can kill a vampire. Lasts 5 rounds.)
679 Slow Potion (as spell, lasts 5 minutes)
680-681 Speak with Animals Potion (lasts an hour)
682-683 Speak with Dead Potion (lasts ten minutes)
684 Vial of a substance derived from mindeater digestive juices. If a PC drinks it immediately after eating the brain of another living creature it will allow the PC to know everything the creature knew. However the PC must save or gain an insanity. 1 dose.
685 Speak with Monsters Potion (lasts ten minutes)
686-687 Speak with Plants Potion (lasts a day)
688 Speed Potion (as Haste , lasts 5 minutes)
689 Spike Potion. (If rubbed on any part of the body (5 square inches), spikes made of fused bone and hardened flesh will form there. A successful strike with these spikes will cause d4 damage or normal punch damage plus 2 hp damage, depending on system. 2 doses.) 690 Stone to Flesh Potion
691 Strength Potion (Str 18 lasts an hour)
692 Oil of Brutal Noise. Anyone drinking this or stabbed with a blade coated in it becomes painfully sensitive to all sounds. Mechanics here are up to you. d6 doses.
693 Suggestion Potion (as spell)
694 Healing potion: d8 HP but pictographic label says it requires a finger from a dead humanoid to become active.
695 Tongues Potion (lasts ten minutes) 
696 Razor potion. 1 dose. Drinking it and then spitting it out allows the imbiber to spit a cone-shaped "breath weapon" full of gnat-sized barbs which does 3d6 damage to exposed flesh.
697 Ventriloquism (throw your voice up to 60 feet, lasts a day)
698-699 Water Breathing Potion (lasts 24 hours) 
700 Youth Potion (become half your age permanently) 
701-800 Interesting books. Roll d6: 1-The Valuable entry, it indicates a book nobody in the party can read, so reroll if they like know all languages or whatever 2-4 Manual entry (leveling up with this book improves your skill in that area) 5-6 Special entry 
701 VALUABLE: Worth # of GP just rolled
MANUAL: Far Eastern Languages
SPECIAL: Book of Ten Thousand Fists: Level up with this and do double damage on an unarmed strike. 
702 VALUABLE: Worth # of GP just rolled.
MANUAL: Goblin/Orc Languages
SPECIAL: The Offices of Ool: Level up with this and learn ritual breathing methods that grant 50% immunity to magic cast by elves 
703 VALUABLE: Worth # of GP just rolled.
MANUAL: Librarian/Serpent Language
SPECIAL: The Naga-Ta: Allows anyone spending an hour to conjure a serpent-demon, otherwise as the Summon spell. 
704 VALUABLE: Worth # of GP just rolled.
MANUAL: Grey Elven Languages
SPECIAL: Codex of Unutterable Tedium by Ryne Bland. This book is so boring. Anyone reading it will fall asleep after a number of rounds equal to their wisdom for d10 rounds. Reading aloud from the book will cause anyone hearing it and able to understand it to make a save or just walk out of hearing distance. If the reader pursues the fleeing creature and continues reading, the creature will be affected as with a Sleep spell (even Elves). Anyone hearing or reading the book more than three times will attempt to destroy or discard it. 
705 VALUABLE: Worth # of GP just rolled
MANUAL: Nephilidian Language
SPECIAL: Naxyrite Codex: Contains a six hour spell to change a vampire back into a human. 
706 VALUABLE: Worth # of GP just rolled
MANUAL: Languages of Cesaire
SPECIAL: The Book of Leopards: Magic users leveling up with this can gain a Command spell (1/day) that works on animals, requiring no spell slot. 
707 VALUABLE: Worth # of GP just rolled
MANUAL: Languages of the Peacock Isles
SPECIAL: The Fire Wheel: New second level spell. A flaming hoop circles the caster for 10 minutes, inflicting d8+level damage on anyone within 5’. 
708 VALUABLE: Worth # of GP just rolled
MANUAL: Languages of the Scorpion Lands
SPECIAL: The Jewelled Moon Scroll: A spell of exorcism. A cleric must plant their feet and chant the incantation in the demon’s presence. Each round the demon must save, at the first round at -1, the second at -2, etc so long as the priest chants from the book. Each successful usage has a 50% chance of destroying the book. 
709 VALUABLE: Worth # of GP just rolled
MANUAL: Dwarvish Language
SPECIAL: The Orders of Gryy Ironeye: Revered dwarven weaponsmithing manual. Level up with this and gain the ability to customize or forge a “perfect” steel weapon to fit a specific wielder. One weapon per client, takes three weeks. Weapon is not magic but +1 to hit and damage. 
710 VALUABLE: Worth # of GP just rolled
MANUAL: Drownesian Languages
SPECIAL: Rangda Nasaka Amm: Sacred text of the spider-cult: Valuable beyond anything to Drownesian NPCs and spider cultists, they’ll trade almost for it. Level up with it and gain a Web or Summon (spider-demons only) spell that takes up no spell slot. 
711 VALUABLE: Worth # of GP just rolled
MANUAL: Old Selenian and Eliatoran Language (see Maze of the Blue Medusa)
SPECIAL: Labyrinth of the Pavonated Gorgon: Ritual in this book takes ten minutes and transports everything within a 10-foot radius to the Maze of the Blue Medusa. It will also transport you back to wherever you cast it. 
712 VALUABLE: Worth # of GP just rolled
MANUAL: Reptileman/Chameleon Woman Languages (incl. Ancient Saurian) (see Maze of the Blue Medusa)
SPECIAL: The Book of the Night Princes: This sad tale induces uncontrollable weeping in any who hear it read aloud. Save each round to do anything but cry. 
713 VALUABLE: Worth # of GP just rolled
MANUAL: White Elven Languages
SPECIAL: The Kelth Ochnnyn: The sacred brands and strange tortures here take half and hour to inflict but will induce any creature to tell the truth. 
714 VALUABLE: Worth # of GP just rolled
MANUAL: Sea Elven Languages
SPECIAL: Gyth Asculum: Incantation here takes half and hour and turns any humanoid into a cannibal mermaid. 
715 VALUABLE: Worth # of GP just rolled
MANUAL: Human Languages of Broceliande & Vlegt
SPECIAL: The Vorn Vekt: A sacred text of Vorn. A cleric may use it once per day to bless any weapon, so that it will damage lycanthropes, demons, and immaterial and otherwise protected undead—it will also do d6 extra damage. Lasts one day. 
716 VALUABLE: Worth # of GP just rolled
MANUAL: Demonic Languages
SPECIAL: The Registry Infernal: Contains the true names of 70% of all demons. 
717 VALUABLE: Worth # of GP just rolled
MANUAL: Dead Languages
SPECIAL: Gnysic Gospels: Contains a minute-long incantation that banishes elementals within 30’. Requires no spell slot to use. 
718 VALUABLE: Worth # of GP just rolled
MANUAL: Obscure Languages
SPECIAL: The Hours of the Malachite Dog: Contains a fifteen-minute spell which summons a massive storm which lasts 24 hours. Anyone may use it. 
719 VALUABLE: Worth # of GP just rolled
MANUAL: Maps/Atlas of a random region (i.e. the regions in the library)
SPECIAL: Map of this place.
 
720 VALUABLE: Worth # of GP just rolled
MANUAL: Diseases
SPECIAL: Codex of Iptis Os: Cure any disease once per month by performing the half hour ceremony under a full moon. 
721 VALUABLE: Worth # of GP just rolled
MANUAL: Surgery
SPECIAL: Codex of Ospis Ipt: Graft a dead limb onto a living host to replace a missing arm or leg. Takes 6 hours. The limb will work. 
722 VALUABLE: Worth # of GP just rolled
MANUAL: Medicinal herbs
SPECIAL: Book of Hadru: Tale of a monkey prince who solves puzzles. Serendipitously contains clues to three conundra the reader may face (“As you look at the door, you remember reading in the Book of Hadru...”). It doesn’t work unless the player brings it up. Works three times, maximum. 
723 VALUABLE: Worth # of GP just rolled
MANUAL: Medicine in general
SPECIAL: The Pagoda in White: Identify any disease in two minutes by consulting this book. 
724 VALUABLE: Worth # of GP just rolled
MANUAL: Alchemy
SPECIAL: Orbik Hekk: Identify any harmful chemical in two minutes by consulting this book. 
725 VALUABLE: Worth # of GP just rolled
MANUAL: Demonology
SPECIAL: The Vyracohedron: Level up with this book and be able to spot any portal or object that takes you to another dimension or extradimensional space. 
726 VALUABLE: Worth # of GP just rolled
MANUAL: Cosmetics
SPECIAL: The Book of the Black Crane: Gain +1 Charisma by leveling up while in possesion of this make-up manual. 
727 VALUABLE: Worth # of GP just rolled
MANUAL: Decorative Arts
SPECIAL: The Yew Thistle Manual: Level up with this and be able to identify when any elven object was made. 
728 VALUABLE: Worth # of GP just rolled
MANUAL: Music
SPECIAL: Allows for the creation of hypnotic musical compositions so long as the target species is known. Takes one hour to compose and the music must be played by a competent musician (though it can be on any instrument). So long as the music plays, members of the target species cannot move. A new song must be composed after each full moon. 
729 VALUABLE: Worth # of GP just rolled
MANUAL: Poetry and fiction
SPECIAL: The Octarium Of Leucis Threen: You’ve read the Octarium! Oh I adore Threen! Leveling up with this book allows you to impress any educated aesthete not wholly hostile to you. 
730 VALUABLE: Worth # of GP just rolled
MANUAL: Architecture (in LotFP, add a pip if you level up with this book)
SPECIAL: The Mead and Pensver Guide to Notable Structures: Legendary halfling travel-writers provide the location of every large temple, palace, castle etc created before the Age of Human Dominion except places the Referee has specifically decided are “forgotten”. Also provides the benefit of the Manual result 
731 VALUABLE: Worth # of GP just rolled
MANUAL: Painting
SPECIAL: Archnyria’s Lives of the Painters: Leveling up with this work gives the PC advantage to identify paintings and gives them enough information to get twice the usual gp value for selling paintings. 
732 VALUABLE: Worth # of GP just rolled
MANUAL: Sculpture
SPECIAL: The Incarnations: Allows the identification of statues—culture of origin, religion, etc. 90% accurate. 
733 VALUABLE: Worth # of GP just rolled
MANUAL: Puppetry
SPECIAL: Kaasingha L’Eatte: A grimoire of shadow magic—leveling up with this book in your posession allows a PC to consecrate a weapon to cut off and steal a victim’s shadow. The victim will be at disadvantage to stealth rolls and the shadow can be folded into a 5” tall puppet which acts out their actions in real time wherever they are. 
734 VALUABLE: Worth # of GP just rolled
MANUAL: Clothing & fashion
SPECIAL: The Book of Remnants: Leveling up with this minutely-detailed guide to costume and etiquette will allow anyone following its instructions to perfectly resemble a generic member of any social class of any nonhuman culture on a successful charisma check. 
735 VALUABLE: Worth # of GP just rolled
MANUAL: Jokes
SPECIAL: Lollard’s Guide to Special Japes: These jokes are so funny it was banned in the 2000th century to prevent unnecessary deaths. Anyone leveling up with this book will know jokes appropriate to any intelligent nonhuman culture that inflict d12 damage on anyone of the given culture able to understand (so one joke would only work on dwarves, one only on White Elves, etc). Only works once per individual. 
736 VALUABLE: Worth # of GP just rolled
MANUAL: Meteorology
SPECIAL: Book of Nine Winds: Get out of one incident of bad weather free, once per sea journey. 
737 VALUABLE: Worth # of GP just rolled
MANUAL: Engineering (LotFP: level up with this and add a pip to Tinkering)
SPECIAL: Book of Brass Wonders: Level up with this book and do D20 damage to any mechanical golem with one successful tinkering roll. 
738 VALUABLE: Worth # of GP just rolled
MANUAL: Construction
SPECIAL: Cesaire at any time—Book of the Blue Viizier: Identify any gem given half an hour. 
739 VALUABLE: Worth # of GP just rolled
MANUAL: Siege engines
SPECIAL: Guide to New Engines: Level up with this and weaknesses in siege engines and fortifications instantly. 
740 VALUABLE: Worth # of GP just rolled
MANUAL: Armor and Weapons
SPECIAL: Contains a one-hour ceremony to consecrate an otherwise non-magic weapon to assassinate a specific target. It will do double damage to that target. Only one such weapon can exist at a time. 
741 VALUABLE: Worth # of GP just rolled
MANUAL: Golems and alchemical mechanisms
SPECIAL: The Automachia: Build 1hd golem with the ablities of any 1hd animals after a week. 
742 VALUABLE: Worth # of GP just rolled
MANUAL: Flowers
SPECIAL: The Chrysanthemum Palace: Elven epic poem/botany manual about every kind of flowering plant. Level up while reading it to gain advantage on any Charisma check to seduce femme-y elves. Note: all poems are prized by manticores. 
743 VALUABLE: Worth # of GP just rolled
MANUAL: Trees
SPECIAL: Nochlys Yst: The names and genealogies of all trees in Broceliande at the time. Probably useful somehow maybe? Luckily also a "Rosetta stone" book translating between elvish and the language of rats. 
744 VALUABLE: Worth # of GP just rolled
MANUAL: Unusual plants
SPECIAL: The Green Opus: Leveling up with this book allows the PC to know all the stats and abilities of any plant monster on a successful Int roll of 10 or better. 
745 VALUABLE: Worth # of GP just rolled
MANUAL: Herbs and useful plants
SPECIAL: Nahaii Botanica: gain advantage on all medicine checks if you level up with this book and keep a kit of prepared herbs when adventuring. 
746 VALUABLE: Worth # of GP just rolled
MANUAL: Cookbook
SPECIAL: The Universal Taster: Following this halfling guide’s instructions allows the reader to concoct a meal that will attract and please any chosen species in half an hour using simple ingredients. It is also a complete guide to identifying the edible tissues of most species. 
747 VALUABLE: Worth # of GP just rolled
MANUAL: Wine
SPECIAL: The Imperial Catalogue: Elven aristocracy judge visitors harshly based on the wine they bring. Owners of this guide always bring the right one. 
748 VALUABLE: Worth # of GP just rolled
MANUAL: Beer and ale
SPECIAL: The Mead and Pensver Guide to Alehouses: Legendary halfling travel-writers provide the location of every extant inn, with maps. Wrtten thousands of years ago but pubs tend to stay put. Still 90% accurate in nonhuman lands and 50% accurate in human ones. 
749 VALUABLE: Worth # of GP just rolled
MANUAL: Other alcoholic beverages
SPECIAL: The Intoxicantatium: Learn the spell, Drunk Reversal—switch blood alcohol levels of two targets in line of sight. 1st Level Wizard. 
750 VALUABLE: Worth # of GP just rolled
MANUAL: Food and agriculture
SPECIAL: The Vorphic Cantos: Learn the secret calls that allow goblins to control giant toads, caterpillars, rustbeasts, etc. as easly as elves control horses. 
751 VALUABLE: Worth # of GP just rolled
MANUAL: Fishing
SPECIAL: The Compleat Fisher: Level up with it and know the historical means used to catch and eat any sea creature. 
752 VALUABLE: Worth # of GP just rolled
MANUAL: Mathematics and geometry
SPECIAL: Scorpion Lands after 2300—The Five Spheres: Level up with this and you’ll be at advantage to checks involving summoning, engineering and anything requiring calculations. 
753 VALUABLE: Worth # of GP just rolled
MANUAL: Extradimensional geometry
SPECIAL: The Gates of Ni’Hab: Level up with this and you’ll immediately recognize the nature of rooms/places with spatial distortions or altered physical laws—as soon as you mention to the DM that you read it. 
754 VALUABLE: Worth # of GP just rolled
MANUAL: Church of Tittivila, the flesh-goddess
SPECIAL: The Mistress of All Changes: Sacred text of Tittitvila, clerics of Tittivila gain an extra mutation (any) or (any) healing spell per day and a level. Any other caster gains 1000xp. 
755 VALUABLE: Worth # of GP just rolled
MANUAL: Church of Gor, bull-headed lawgiver
SPECIAL: The House Unchanging: Sacred text of Gor, clerics of Gor gain an extra Command, Detect Lie or Forbiddance spell per day and a level. Any other caster gains 1000xp. 
756 VALUABLE: Worth # of GP just rolled
MANUAL: Church of Ch’od, the meta-god
SPECIAL: The Dungeon Master’s Guide: Sacred text of Ch’od, clerics of Ch’od gain an extra Bless, Dispel Magic, or True Seeing spell per day and a level. Any other caster gains 1000xp. 
757 VALUABLE: Worth # of GP just rolled
MANUAL: Church of Vorn, grim gray god of iron and rain
SPECIAL: The Iron Tomb: Sacred text of Vorn, clerics of Vorn gain an extra Heroism, Rusting Grasp (as rustbeast), or Control Weather spell per day and a level. Any other caster gains 1000xp. 
758 VALUABLE: Worth # of GP just rolled
MANUAL: Church of the White Web and Rangda, spider-queen
SPECIAL: Zyr’ot Mol: Sacred text of Rangda (mostly pictographic), clerics of Vorn gain an extra Web, Darkness, Silence 15’ Radius or Cause Fear spell per day and a level. Any other caster gains 1000xp. 
759 VALUABLE: Worth # of GP just rolled
MANUAL: Church of the Akayle Ozph, lord of chaos
SPECIAL: The Sirocc: Sacred text of Akayle Ozph (mostly an incomprehensible word collage), clerics of Akayle Ozph gain a Chaos and Confusion spell once per day and a level. Any other reader gains a permanent mental illness. 
760 VALUABLE: Worth # of GP just rolled
MANUAL: Church of White-Lipped Goddess, Lady of the moon and mother of lycanthropes
SPECIAL: The Pale Eye: Sacred text of White-Lipped Goddess, her clerics gain an extra Howl of the Moon, Light, or Wall of Fog spell once per day and a level. Any other caster gains 1000xp. 
761 VALUABLE: Worth # of GP just rolled
MANUAL: Church of the Great Grub, patron of Gaxen Kane
SPECIAL: The Maggotry: Sacred text of the Great Grub, its clerics gain an extra Cause Paralysis, or Confusion spell once per day and a level. Any other caster gains 1000xp. 
762 VALUABLE: Worth # of GP just rolled
MANUAL: Church of the Insect God
SPECIAL: The Sign of the Locust: Sacred text of the Insect God, its clerics gain an extra Insect Plague or Mutation spell once per day and a level. Any other caster gains 1000xp. 
763 VALUABLE: Worth # of GP just rolled
MANUAL: Church of the She-Jackal
SPECIAL: The Sundered Veil: Sacred text of the She-Jackal, her clerics gain an extra Suggestion or Illusion (any) spell once per day and a level. Any other caster gains 1000xp. 
764 VALUABLE: Worth # of GP just rolled
MANUAL: Church of the Toad God
SPECIAL: Ooadd Nad: Sacred text of the Toad Gods, mostly written in the form of musical scores, its clerics gain the ability to leap up to 30’ and a 6’ sticky tongue. Any other reader gains a horrible cosmetic mutation. 
765 VALUABLE: Worth # of GP just rolled
MANUAL: Philosophy
SPECIAL: The Gray Opulence: Levelling up in the posession of this work of hedonistic/stoic philosophy inures a reader from fear. They are immune to fear of any kind. 
766 VALUABLE: Worth # of GP just rolled
MANUAL: Law
SPECIAL: The Book of All Restrictions: Text spelling out all the many laws of the Seelie, Unseelie and Goblin courts, as well as Goblin law. Never be caught flat-footed again by such strictures as “Never touch a snail on a Sunday or you’ll lose an ear” etc. 
767 VALUABLE: Worth # of GP just rolled
MANUAL: Genealogies of the ruling houses
SPECIAL: The Diaries of Milia Nul: Legendary and legendarily long-lived half-elven courtesan’s memoirs contain blackmail material on 70% of elves encountered and all of their noble houses. 
768 VALUABLE: Worth # of GP just rolled
MANUAL: Unusual weapons
SPECIAL: The Most August Armory: Leveling up while in possession of this book allows for the construction of bizarre collapsing, custom telescoping anime-style chain weapons that do something normal weapons don’t but ones in anime do. One can be constructed per year. 
769 VALUABLE: Worth # of GP just rolled
MANUAL: Military history
SPECIAL: The Eight Campaigns of the Obsidian Plain: Moon T’Che’s classic work of strategy and history is viewed with a near superstitious awe by many generals and kings. They consider anyone who has read it and can quote it (i.e. anyone who’s leveled up with it) to be a great military mind and will appoint them to lead squadrons and armies in times of need. 
770 VALUABLE: Worth # of GP just rolled
MANUAL: Goblin Culture
SPECIAL: Qurac Neian’s Guide to Gaxen Kane: A shockingly complete atlas and travel guide to Gaxen Kane, written during the Second War and still 90% accurate. 
771 VALUABLE: Worth # of GP just rolled
MANUAL: Fae culture
SPECIAL: Tales of the Grasshopper Prince: A poem describing the courts of the Seelie and Unseelie fae in embarassing detail. Faeries aware that you possess this book will avoid upsetting you—at least until they can steal or destroy it. Note: all poems are prized by manticores. 
772 VALUABLE: Worth # of GP just rolled
MANUAL: Grey Elves
SPECIAL: Song of the Scheer Skald: A book of grey elven war magic which anyone can cast including 15 minute rituals that activate Bless, Army of One, and Heroism spells. 
773 VALUABLE: Worth # of GP just rolled
MANUAL: White Elves of Nornrik
SPECIAL: Song of the Marble Vein: A book of white elven war magic written in Nornrik which anyone can cast including 15 minute rituals that activate Summon, Earthquake, and Wall of Ice spells. 
774 VALUABLE: Worth # of GP just rolled
MANUAL: Drownesia
SPECIAL: Song of the Jade Fang: A book of dark elven war magic which anyone can cast including 15 minute rituals that activate Charm Monster, Shadow Monsters, and Witchlamp Aura spells. 
775 VALUABLE: Worth # of GP just rolled
MANUAL: Cesaire
SPECIAL: The Unseen Fortress: An account of a journey undertaken by a Cesairean spice trader to take revenge on a zebra priest. Includes details on geography and legends of Cesaire—70% accurate. 
776 VALUABLE: Worth # of GP just rolled
MANUAL: Halflings of Broceliande
SPECIAL: Glowgut’s Guide to Improved Gustation: Halfling cookbook allows for the extension of potions by baking them into wholesome pastries and pies. With an oven and 5gp of ingredients, these baked goods can effectively double the number of doses a potion provides. Works once per potion. 
777 VALUABLE: Worth # of GP just rolled
MANUAL: Human Cultures of Broceliande
SPECIAL: The Account of the Woodpig War: Account of the war between Annwn in the south of Broceliande and the Hunger Kings in the north. Contains marginal notes by Prince Roualt of Strode proving the true king of Annwn is not the man on the throne. 
778 VALUABLE: Worth # of GP just rolled
MANUAL: Humans of the Northern Continent (Vlegt and Vornheim)
SPECIAL: Throne of Omnilex: Contains magic which turns one Summon spell into three. 
779 VALUABLE: Worth # of GP just rolled
MANUAL: Nephilidia
SPECIAL: Gospel of Slime: Sacred text of the Nephilidians, her clerics gain an extra Cause Serious Wounds, Curse, or Power Word spell once per day and a level, if you have Cube World #11: Nephilidia, you can also learn the spells there. Any other caster gains 1000xp. 
780 VALUABLE: Worth # of GP just rolled
MANUAL: Gaxen Kane
SPECIAL: The Grophylic Swoon: The great goblin epic poem of the First War. Reading even a page will drive any non-goblin permanently insane. Note: all poems are prized by manticores. Even this one. 
781 VALUABLE: Worth # of GP just rolled
MANUAL: Peacock Isles
SPECIAL: The Vyradja: General text of magic and philosophy. Any caster gains 1000xp if they spend a week reading it. 
782 VALUABLE: Worth # of GP just rolled
MANUAL: Scorpion Lands
SPECIAL: The Red Pyramid: a description of the fiendish devices of the Necropharoah. Leveling up while reading it grants advantage on saving throws vs traps of all kinds. 
783 VALUABLE: Worth # of GP just rolled
MANUAL: The Lands of the East
SPECIAL: The Gates of Discord: A book of magic. 15 minute rituals anyone can perform activate Weird Vortex, Chaos, Contact Outer Sphere, and Forget spells. 
784 VALUABLE: Worth # of GP just rolled
MANUAL: Dwarven Cultures
SPECIAL: Saga of Vovvynd Spaul: Dwarven epic of wild heroism and vast exaggeration. Leveling up while reading it gives a smattering of dwarven knowledge including advantage to hit on trolls and giant-sized creatures. 
785 VALUABLE: Worth # of GP just rolled
MANUAL: Sea Elven Culture
SPECIAL: The Last Pearl: A book of sea elven war magic which anyone can cast including 15 minute rituals that activate Speak With Plants, Water Breathing, Strange Waters II, and Airy Water spells. 
786 VALUABLE: Worth # of GP just rolled
MANUAL: The Devoured Land (see Frostbitten & Mutilated)
SPECIAL: The Cloven Edda: A magic user who levels up with this spell can access any of the witch spells in Frostbitten & Mutilated. If you don’t have it: buy it. 
787 VALUABLE: Worth # of GP just rolled
MANUAL: Voivodja (see Red & Pleasant Land)
SPECIAL: A Location Vermillion and Desirable: Lists all mirrors through which one can enter and leave Voivodja. 
788 VALUABLE: Worth # of GP just rolled
MANUAL: Death rituals
SPECIAL: The White Seasons: A book of the dead. Allows anyone to cast Raise Undead as if a 5th level caster. 
789 VALUABLE: Worth # of GP just rolled
MANUAL: Traps
SPECIAL: The Ozrias Runes: Allows anyone spending 15 minutes to case a spell someone present can already cast to be attached to a drawn, written or tattooed rune, and activate under conditions the caster describes. 
790 VALUABLE: Worth # of GP just rolled
MANUAL: Potion-making
SPECIAL: Omnibus Mil Morpheum: Level up with this manual of alchemy and you can duplicate any potion given an Int check and and hour. Works once per sample. 
791 VALUABLE: Worth # of GP just rolled
MANUAL: Reptile biology
SPECIAL: Codex Saurianaxx: Everything you ever wanted to know about dragons, including the location, name, kind, disposition and age of the nearest one and the behaviors, garb and rituals of their worshippers. 
792 VALUABLE: Worth # of GP just rolled
MANUAL: Insect/arthropod biology
SPECIAL: Kyr’Aleen Compendium: Level up with this book and you instantly know the characteristics of any insect species you see, including how dangerous any poisons they have might be. 
793 VALUABLE: Worth # of GP just rolled
MANUAL: Bird biology
SPECIAL: The Scrolls of the Simurgh: Level up with this and learn the language of birds. 
794 VALUABLE: Worth # of GP just rolled
MANUAL: Mammal biology
SPECIAL: The Hunter’s Enchiridion: Level up with this and get advantage to damage on any animal you can sneak attack. 
795 VALUABLE: Worth # of GP just rolled
MANUAL: Unnatural (monster) biology
SPECIAL: Thee Folio of Fiends: Describes every monster. Takes two minutes to consult. As accurate as any rules-as-written game book ever is. 
796 VALUABLE: Worth # of GP just rolled
MANUAL: Marine biology
SPECIAL: The Iltar Text: Decribes rituals and formulae which allow up to ten creatures to grow gills permanently.They can breathe water but will need to drink twice as much as normal when on land. 
797 VALUABLE: Worth # of GP just rolled
MANUAL: Halluicinogens and drugs
SPECIAL: The Lavender Pearl: Decadent elven poem also doubles as a drug guide, allowing those who level up while reading it to save at advantage versus intoxicants and hallucinatory effects. Note: all poems are prized by manticores. 
798 VALUABLE: Worth # of GP just rolled
MANUAL: Lycanthropes
SPECIAL: The Vealdean Lycanthropica: Contains a two-hour ritual whch reverses lycanthropy. 
799 VALUABLE: Worth # of GP just rolled
MANUAL: The undead and death rituals
SPECIAL: The Second Path: Anyone reading aloud from this book casts Turn Undead as a cleric of their level. 
800 VALUABLE: Worth # of GP just rolled
MANUAL: Lockpicking (LotFP: level up and add a pip to Tinkering)
SPECIAL: Fourfiths Guide to Mechanisme: A guide to locks, allows the same benefit as the Manual result above plus allows the user to open one non-magical lock that isn’t supposed to be able to be unlocked with normal lockpicking skills. 
801-900
Magic Weapons 
801Attachable steel fangs. Enables bite for d4 (even if grappled, usually).
802 Iron fist gauntlet: Wearer’s punch does d8+Str bonus. Only someone with a Str bonus can use it.
803 Magic goblin shortsword Earcutter—d20 damage to elves but makes you talk backwards
804 Hammer of Exorcism: Does d8 damage and drives out any demon possession. Does d12+Cleric level hp to demons.
805 Thursday Blade: Longsword does triple damage once per day every Thursday.
806 Consecrated dagger, advantage to hit and damage vs whatever humanoid species the nearest hostile humanoid species considers its enemy.
807 Shield made of null-magic metal. Basically gives a reflex save/dex check against magic attacks that might be blocked by a shield. 808 Morningstar of Ridiculous Wounding. This magic weapon can hit gods, demons, etc. as if it were a +6 weapon (though it has no bonus), however a successful hit on an intelligent creature will strike the target as hilarious, causing them to laugh so hard their armor class is reduced by 1. Successive hits will seem even more hilarious, again reducing the target's AC by 1 for each hit. If the target survives the combat s/he/it will continue laughing for 8 more rounds.
The user becomes increasingly grim and humorless. His/her charisma is reduced by 1 for all purposes except intimidation checks for each foe slain with the morningstar.
809 Lachrymaxe. This weapon appears to be merely a very ancient and finely-made battleaxe, however, it feeds on misery, and gains a +1 for each intelligent creature whose tears are rubbed onto the blade (up to a maximum of +5). Each application of tears must be from a different species.
The Lachrymaxe is intelligent, though it will never engage in a duel of wills with its owner. It will, however, whisper to the wielder constantly, subtly encouraging him/her to slay, to conquer, and to tread the jewelled thrones of the Earth under his/her feet.
810 Hideous Cleaver : Inflicts d12+Str damage at advantage to exposed flesh. Save each round to stop chopping living things. 
811 Runic arrow inflicts 3d6 lightning damage—works once
812 Runic arrow causes enemy to act as Faerie Fired and fail all saves until removed—works once
813 Runic arrow sticks into anything (penetrates any AC) and powerfully magnetizes on contact, everything metal in 20’ leaps toward target—works once
814 Runic arrow disintegrates metal on contact—works once
815 Runic arrow inflicts Sleep as 5th level caster—works once
816 Runic arrow covers enemy in paralyzing ice every round until the victim breaks out (Str roll)—works once
817 Runic arrow inflicts blindness every round until victim saves—works once
818 Arrow contains reservoir full of powerful intoxicant—target must save or be drunk—works once
819 Runic arrow teleports foe 10’ in a random direction—works once
820 As 811 but shuriken
821 As 812 but shuriken
822 As 813 but shuriken
823 As 814 but shuriken
824 As 815 but shuriken
825 As 816 but shuriken
826 As 817 but shuriken
827 As 818 but shuriken
828 As 819 but shrunken
829 As 812 but chakram
830 As 813 but chakram
831 As 814 but chakram
832 As 815 but chakram
833 As 816 but chakram
834 As 817 but chakram
835 As 818 but chakram
836 As 819 but chakram
837 As 811 but chakram
838-839 As 812 but crossbow bolt
840-841 As 813 but crossbow bolt
842-843 As 814 but crossbow bolt
844-845 As 815 but crossbow bolt
846-847 As 816 but crossbow bolt
848-849 As 817 but crossbow bolt
850-851 As 818 but crossbow bolt
852-853 As 811 but crossbow bolt
854-855 As 819 but crossbow bolt
856-857 As 813 but dart
858-859 As 814 but dart
860-861 As 815 but dart
862-863 As 816 but dart
864-865 As 817 but dart
866-867 As 818 but dart
868-869 As 819 but dart
870-871 As 811 but dart
872-873 As 812 but dart
874 As 812 but dagger
875 As 817 but dagger
876 As 818 but dagger
877 As 815 but dagger
878 As 815 but sickle
879 As 817 but sickle
880 As 818 but sickle
881-882 As 812 but caltrops
883-884 As 816 but caltrops
885-886 As 817 but caltrops
887-888 As 818 but caltrops
889 Slicer : Throwable shortsword on magic wire, the wire extends up to 100’ but it always taut and inflicts d4hp on anyone who trips over it.
890 Tooth of Vorn: Bastard sword. Choose to-hit and damage: for every minus to hit it’s +2 to damage. 
891 Steel Cyclone: Morningstar or far-eastern chain weapon with a 10’ chain, when swng it increases the user’s AC by 2 and always entangles while doing (d8) damage. Instead of entangling, the user may choose to attack all targets in range for d6. Save to avoid leaping into swarms of enemies.
892 Mutilator : Dwarven axe, advantage vs creatures over 15’ tall: to hit, to damage, to climb on them, escape grapples, everything etc. Always save to avoid attacking giants though. 
893 Vorpal Blade: Longsword inflicts d100hp and decapitation on a critical hit but this has a 50% chance of slicing open the fabric of reality and releasing d4 demons of 2d4 hd.
894 The Krullwheel: Magic throwing axe, chakram, or telescoping shuriken always returns to the users’ hand and does d4hp to every target in a 180 degree arc. Roll one to-hit roll and see who is hit. 
895 Despiser: Morningstar coated in ancient blood, triple damage to irongith, gnolls, and jackalmen. Possessor must save to not attack them on sight.
896 The Serpentine: Linked steel whip, inflicts d6 hp and entangles a limb or weapon on a hit.
897 White-elf warmask, finely made: +1 AC 
898 Bludgeon of Vorn: Spikeless flail rusts anything on contact and inflicts d8. Possesor must save to not attack enemies of Vorn on sight.
899 Gorhorn: Long knife of polished horn does 3d6 damage to lawbreakers. Possesor must read the relevant local law aloud first. 900 Star of Akayle Ozph: Pulsating oversized misbegotten shuriken, when thrown does d20 damage to every creature in the room, including the user. 
Other Magic Items 
901 Ring of Vomiting (save each round)
902 Deck of Illusions
903 Pair of 1’ diameter holes. Put anything in one and it comes out the other.
904 Ordinary-looking (but fresh) apple. Cures d8 hp.
905 Spell-reflecting ring: works half the time, even on area-effect spells.
906 Candle that stops burning only when undead are within 100’.
907 Ring of Bat Control: Works for ten minutes per day
908 Shield of Arrow Atraction (cursed)
909 Scroll: Steal spell spell. Any Magic User can use it. Save or lose a spell to the caster (who may not be able to cast it).
910 Billiard-ball-sized sphere rolls toward the nearest enemy. Takes three rounds to activate.
911 Gauntlet removes curses so long as it is worn.
912 Small inscribed cube has a lock. If removed it releases one of each kind of Living Spell.
913 Unwinding hourglass: turn it over and the last hour didn’t happen. Works once.
914-915 Charm of immunity: Sleep
916-917 Charm of immunity: 1st level spells
918-919 Charm of immunity: 2nd level spells
920-921 Charm of immunity: Polymorph
922-923 Charm of immunity: Slow o r Hold
924-925 Charm of immunity: Mind-affecting magic
926-927 Charm of Immunity: Death magic
928 Assassin’s face: This mask allows the wearer to imitate the last humanoid creature they slew.
929 Serpentsphere: Crushing this small glass ball turns everything snake-shaped in a 60’ radius into snakes: arrows, sticks, rods, etc. 930 Webglove: Throw a web-spell, 1/day.
931 Brooch of perfect hair. Wear it and your hair is always perfect.
932 Cloak of Obscurity: Animal-intelligence things ignore you, other creatures just don’t care that you’re there unless you’re intruding or hostile.
933 Grappling claw on rope. Animated steel claw holds stronger than any grappling hook.
934 Cloak of Tentacles: d6 tentacles automatically come out and attack anyone who comes within 10’. D4 damage 12 Str. But if you sleep in it, it will kill you.
935 Ring allows one wearer to walk through one wall once per day.
936 Wine of Immediate and Total Inebriation (bottle). Save.
937 Ale of Alternate Friendliness and Pugnacity (2 bottles) No save. Act as charmed by server, then attack, then charmed again, alternating rounds for 12 rounds.
938 Carcosan wine (bottle): Drink enough to be drunk and you’ll understand lunatics’ motvations.
939 Gin of Vorn (bottle): Drink enough to be drunk and you’ll smell demons.
940 Voivodjan punch (bottle): Drink enough to be drunk and you’ll be good at puzzles.
941 Chaos Waste vodka (bottle): Drink enough to be drunk and you’ll be immune to fear, attack at advantage to hit and damage and fight whoever you see for 10 rounds.
942 Broceliande Brandy (bottle): Drink enough to be drunk and it heals d4 and makes you immune to cold for an hour.
943 Halfling Whiskey (bottle): Drink enough to be drunk and you make all your saves for an hour. 
944 Sign of Antithesis. This talisman looks like the holy symbol of some local god or demon only upside-down and with a closed eye superimposed on it. It makes the wearer entirely invisible to the deity or power in question. Cleric spells and paladin abilities granted by the entity in question will not affect the wearer. The sign is made of ordinary materials and can be destroyed as easily as any piece of jewelry. Any cleric will recognize one. 
945-946 Chalk of Sealing: Drawing a protective perimeter with this chalk will prevent anyone inside from being seen or harmed in any way so long as they remain asleep. Enough chalk to draw one circle, 15’ radius.
947-948 Vial of multicolored dust. When opened or shattered it creates a cloud filling about a refrigerator-sized area in mid-air. It lasts for 5 days. The mist affects any magic effect passing through it as follows: (d4 1-disperses effect 2-redirects effect toward randomly determined other target 3-Wild magic effect 4-Solidifies effect into a small mammal which drops immediately to the floor, where it sleeps for d4 hours.) The vial can be opened or broken in the middle of someone else's turn on a successful dex check. 
949-955 Scroll: 1 spell. Level d4, Random. Usable by anyone.
956 Hand of Glory: Pickled murderer’s hand candle emits a light only the user can see. Works five times.
957-958 A small vial of blue forgettng dust—inhaling it causes the victim to forget the last hour.
959-960 Dropping this cube into water will cause a hallucinatory steam. Hallucinations result in effects equal to a Confusion spell. 961-962 Dropping this cube into a body of water at least the size of a bathtub will cause a 60x60x60 area of it to turn into a jello-like substance. No effect on the water inside living things but does Slow water-elemental monsters.
963 Device the size of a pocket watch containing inlaid images of clouds, suns, etc. capable of predicting the weather one day ahead
of time.
964 Deck of working Tarot Cards (Works as a Fortune in Vornheim: The Complete City Kit )
965 Ring: Invisibility to attractive people
966 Magic user scroll: Steal Face (Level 4: Take and convincingly wear someone’s face until it rots off or they get it back. Range: Touch.)
967 A Goblin Key that’ll lock any door.
968-969 Pair of beads. Crushing bead A will instantly bring crusher to the location of bead B.
970 A form of waxy cosmetic made from crushed carmine beetles which can be applied to the lips. Using it and then kissing any object will cause a mouth to form wherever the kiss was. The new mouth will be sentient and can answer any questions that the object in question would be expected to know (if a living being is kissed, only the body part kissed will be able to speak) for d4 rounds before disappearing.
971 Scroll: Rust Object (3'x3'; patch becomes useless. Anyone can read it. Range: Touch.)
972 Mineral salts. Adding these to a pool of water and bathing in it for 20 minutes heals 2 hp of damage and grants spellcasters full rest. 973-978 Scroll: 1 spell. Level d8. Random. Usable by anyone.
979-980 D4 magic cigarettes: Smoke is charm spell
981-982 D4 magic cigarettes: Smoke grants infravision
983-984 D4 magic cigarettes: Looking through smoke reveals invisible
985-986 D4 magic cigarettes: Blowing the smoke in someone’s face acts as a Stinking Cloud on them alone.
987 Ivory statuette of a crocodile. Will turn into a real crocodile if immersed.
988 Vial of hallucinogenic spores (4 doses) Causes hallucinations in d4 targets until they save: Individual in a swamp-strips off armor to keep from sinking
989 Vial of hallucinogenic spores (4 doses) Causes hallucinations in d4 targets until they save: Spiders attacking-individual strikes/attacks floor area to kill them
990 Vial of hallucinogenic spores (4 doses) Causes hallucinations in d4 targets until they save: lndividual has shrunk-shouts for help to return to normal size.
991 Vial of hallucinogenic spores (4 doses) Causes hallucinations in d4 targets until they save: Item held is a viper-individual.
992 Vial of hallucinogenic spores (4 doses) Causes hallucinations in d4 targets until they save: Individual is suffocating-runs gasping in random directions.
993 Vial of hallucinogenic spores (4 doses) Causes hallucinations in d4 targets until they save: Associates are diseased-avoids everyone.
994 Vial of hallucinogenic spores (4 doses) Causes hallucinations in d4 targets until they save: Leech on back-individual tears off anything worn on back and attacks it.
995 Vial of hallucinogenic spores (4 doses) Causes hallucinations in d4 targets until they save: Individual is HUUUGE, keeps trying to stomp everyone.
996 Harpy's egg. If a witch or wizard subjects it to a certain alchemical process before it hatches it will give birth to a natural disaster. If not, a harpy the size of a cornish game hen will hatch and assume the nearest PC is its mother. It will act like an evil, flying child of its age.
997 Set of 5 rods, 1-foot long. They will hang in space exactly where the owner sets them until they remove them with their own hand. 998 Mushroom. Makes you 2 feet tall for an hour.
999 Magic warpaint-- +2 hit and damage, -6 wisdom. Lasts half an hour. d4 doses.
1000 Yellowish goo. Purifies water, makes water elementals docile. 

Useless Books 
Occasionally a PC may pull a random book off the shelf. It’ll be one of these. They have hidden clues in them to adventures they may one day have. 
1. The Scolding of Queen Principia 
A garbled farce. Seven ruined men poke a chicken with sticks. None survive. Sample: 
Montague
She’s off her guard! Now is the time sir! 
Lord Scropshire
Very well, I shall...ah! I’ve been peck’t! 
Cropsford
Really, Lord Scropshire, I do... 
Lord Scropshire
Ah! The pecking has not in any way abated! I’m now bleeding from the eyes! 
Hidden clue: This (and the presence of other works like it nearby on similar themes) may tip the players off to the fact that the fearful avian creature they will soon encounter near the library (perhaps a gargantuan ibis, a roc, or an eldritch cock) is, like the creature in the book, immune to physical attacks. 
2. The Sallow Bridegroom 
Sisters compete for the love of a Duke who turns out to be a piece of cheese carved in the shape of a man. They share him. Suppressed by the church. 
Sample: 
Cornucopia
I dare not touch him for to touch him is to touch myself in my most slender places. 
Andyne “Slender”? What? 
Cornucopia
I never liked you. But I liked that boy—even though he is made of cheese. 
Hidden clue: The drama is based on a true story from the much younger days of the powerful crone Andyne. If the PCs should ever encounter her, they might realize she still still possesses a fondness for cheeses—and a hard time distinguishing the living from the inanimate. 
3. The Pinking Draught 
A magic elixir causes no end of trouble for a family of assholes. Sample: 
Ephesius
But I put it in my butt! 
Albinioni
Well take it out, I want to suck on it! 
Ephesius
I’ll take it out when I’m done absorbing its magical properties through my butt! 
Hidden clue: If the PCs ever come upon a potion labelled “Pinking Draught” (not too soon, let it lie) they may realize it’s nothing but trouble. It is: the potion causes anyone who uses it to become sure it does exactly what they most wish it would—though in truth it has no effect. The illusion lasts one hour and there is no Save. 
4. The Wolves of West Clopping 
A brooding tale of slow revenge wherein a cobbler and a tart bandit contrive a nightmarish demise for a priest caught fondling their daughters on All Hallow’s Eve. 
Sample: 
Bagatelle
Would you like some tarts? 
Father Sloque
Where, good sir, did you acquire so many tarts? 
Bagatelle
Oh, I have my ways. Of...acquiring tarts. 
Father Sloque
Well they’re very good tarts. 
Bagatelle Thank you! 
Father Sloque
So you wanted to talk to me about...mmmf...excuse me. Wow these are really good tarts. 
Bagatelle
Yes I...acquired them specially for you. Because I wanted you to....have tarts. 
Father Sloque
Well I definitely got them. Boy howdy! 
Bagatelle (tenting fingers) Yes... 
Hidden clue: A former cobbler named Ella Tagab (“Bagatelle” backwards) will eventually come into the lives of the PCs—and he will be wealthy, secure, and possessed of something the PCs want very badly. If the PCs realize he is the same Bagatelle from the play and threaten to expose the murder he committed in his youth, he will fold immediately. 
5. The Clutching Cow 
A rogue ungulate seizes the scions of a great house. Considered the apex of Baroque literature by many critics at the time, and a precursor to the gothic novel by modern scholars, this jagged psychodrama explores the ever-splintering relationships between the self and the demands of the external world, construed both as a natural and social construct. 
Sample: 
Sample: 
Silas
Hey, it’s that cow! 
Cow (grabbing Silas) Moo! 
Silas
It hath me! 
Cow Moo! 
Silas
This sucks! I am being dragged off by a cow! 
Cow Moo! 
Silas Fuck! 
Hidden Clue: This work is beloved of the “Philosophic Prince” Morach Van Heem of Battaviglia, and any who have read it may come into his good graces by discussing with him its symbolism and themes. 
6. The Severed Blessing 
Considered an early example of socially-engaged theatre, this gripping tragedy depicts a pair of nuns who discover their love for one another just before the Inquisition does. 
(Inquisitor pulls lever) 
Sister Clara
Oh no I’m being executed in an awful way! 
Sister Anastasia
I wish social mores were more advanced than they are presently! 
Sister Clara
I as well my love! Aghhhh... 
(Clara is dropped into Excellent Beadle) 
Hidden Clue: One of the torture devices in the book is called “The Excellent Beadle”. If the PCs later encounter a seemingly innocent priest, monk, priestess, etc who says they are taking them to meet The Excellent Beadle they’ll be tipped off their host is not what they seem. 
7. The Erotic Beaks 
A philandering pair of plague-doctor brothers deceive their respective inamorata by refusing to remove their pointed masks. A lewd travesty, universally despised. 
Sample: 
Sample: 
Sample: 
Madame Orvieto
Oh Cyril it’s so long and fascinating! 
Jeremy
Yes, and filled with aromatic herbs! 
Hidden Clue: The brothers are named Cyril and Jeremy. The wicked twins the PCs will one day encounter (also using their semblance to dissemble) are also named Cyril and Jeremy. 
8. The Eight Mistakes of Oswald de L’Orme 
An unsettling work of experimental theatre by the depraved genius Andromache Parlour—executed for witchcraft and heliocentrism. All the lines are spoken by nude and corpulent men standing astride statues of their own children caked in red ice. 
Ninth Shadow
You have made another mistake Oswald de L’Orme! 
Oswald de L’Orme
What is it? Was it the thing I did with the wine bottle? 
Angel of Prostitution Calumny! Striation! 
Ninth Shadow (whispering) Fun cakes 
Hidden Clue: If the PCs should come across statues of children caked in red ice, they might be clever enough to say something like “Ah, I didn’t know you were putting on a production of the Eight Mistakes” and thereby give their host impression of being cultured. 
9. These Pale and Rigid Ranks 
A savage satire of contemporary morals, this tragicomic tale relates the life of an unscrupulous dentist as told by his own teeth. As his rates skyrocket and his handiwork decays, they begin to take on dark, paranoid personae reflecting the ills of both dentistry and society as a whole. 
Molar
How can I see a cavity when I have a cavity inside myself? 
Bicuspid
Your mother was twenty whores. 

Canine 
Arf. 

Hidden Clue: The PC will one day come upon a statue of a colossal head with the phrase “Hi gradus pallidus tensa atque rigida efficiuntur” carved into its base. Any cleric or anyone making a language roll will realize it’s a reference to the title of this play—and that they should, therefore, examine the teeth carefully. 
10. The Tale of Snodgrass 
A man loses track of his mother on market day only to find she has been kidnapped by Poseidon. Sample: 
Poseidon
Though she once whelped and raised you, a slave to your whims and mewlings, Irma is now my queen and will reign with me beneath the waves for all eternity . 
Snodgrass
Um, ok? She seems happy. 
Irma (whispers) Look at his abs! 
Poseidon Ok cool. 
Snodgrass Cool. 
Hidden Clue: A mountebank will one day attempt to run a long con the PCs by claiming their mother was “kidnapped by a seaman on market day”. Familiarity with this work may put them on their guard. 
11. The Egotist 
A captain in the king’s guard tortures those around him with his overweening arrogance until a humble but perspicacious lady challenges him and wins his heart. Said to have been a great inspiration to Jane Austen. 
Sample: 
Nurse
What have they done to my puddings! 
Captain Poquelin
I don’t know dumbass but I’m impressive. 
Lady Almondine
(enters)
Nurse there’s not nearly enough boning in this corset! 
Captain Poquelin I’ll say! 
Hidden clue: The reserved, uxurious and pious Captain Raphael Poquelin has suffered much on account of this play as he feels it has caused the women of the Broceliandaise court to mistake him for a cad and a bounder. Any who remark upon the coincidence of the names and share his woes will be brought into his confidence. 
12. The Impregnable Fortress 
From the pen of Rollo Ortega del’Osoria comes this groundbreaking and early attempt at the Theatre of Inertia concerning a fortress that’s really hard to get into. 
Sample: 
General Are we in yet? 
Calderon Nope. 
General
Did you try the battering ram? 
Calderon Yep. 
General
What about the catapult? 
Calderon
We threw the rocks right at the door. 
General And? 
Calderon Nada. 
General
What about the Iron Rhinoceros? 
Calderon That’s not a thing. 
General Hm. 
Hidden Clue: del’Osoria would become a mystic obsessed with the notion of an “impregnable fortress”, filing the book that would be known as the “del’Osoria Codex” with architectural diagrams and protection spells. Anyone reading it will gain two levels in Architecture and access to d6 new protection spells. While the book is occasionally referenced in lists of lost tomes, this play is the only clue as to its contents. 
13. The Carrot 
This play, written entirely in rhyming couplets, deals with attempts by a humble peasant to locate a carrot belonging to his cruel lord, a vegetarian as strict as he is voracious. 
Sample: 
Sample: 
Peasant
Over dale or under hill? Perhaps upon some window’s sill? 
King
If you don’t find my fucking carrot,
I’ll make a hat from your ass and force you to wear it 
Hidden clue: The Countess of Crewthe has heard in passing—she cannot remember from who—that this play is of interest—and will ask the PCs if they’ve heard of it and what it is about. If they know, (or better yet, have it with them) she will mark them as quite erudite, and shower the favor of the court upon them. 
14. The Knight of Noses 
A curse obliges a knight to store thirty noses in his chambers and wear a different one on each day of the month. The courtiers mock his affliction until a savage reversal occurs. 
Serial Mutilator
(cuts off everyone’s nose) Lol 
Courtiers Ub...coulb we borrow... 
Knight of Noses Seriously? 
Hidden Clue: There’s also a tavern called the Knight of Noses. Each day of the month it “clones” a different other tavern in the city: the personnel, decor and events within mirror those in some other inn precisely, save for any interference from those who wander in to the Knight itself off the street. 
15. The Glossy Chop 
A pair of diners differ over the origin of a thin coating of moisture atop a piece of pork loin. Much praised in its day for its striking realism. Sample: 
Obragon 
Mayhap a mignonette sauce! 
Voynich 
I think that it is pee. 
Hidden Clue: The PCs may run into an alchemist obsessing over a mysterious goldish potion they fear to open labelled “The Voynich Solution” created by his dead mentor (a great enthusiast of the theatre). The play should tip them off as to its contents. 
16. The School for Emperors 
A pair of mighty rulers gamble on the outcome of a duel between two beggars, not knowing the beggars are themselves their own parents, once thought dead but in fact driven into destitution by the stresses of their office. 
Sample: 
Emperor of the East Wind Ha look at that jerk! 
Emperor of the Western Desert
Yep he sucks because unlike us he doesn’t have royal blood in his veins and is instead a normie. 
Beggar
Actually I’m your dad, fucking zing. 
Hidden Clue: In a few months the PCs may find themselves on a flyblown street watching a pair of beggars circle one another with flensing knives while a pair of high-born fops look on from a high balcony. They may then realize the text was a premonition and all four men are emperors in disguise. 
17. The Expedition 
The elders of a small town menaced by unknown forces from beneath the earth hire a band of adventurers to harry the terror to its lair and defeat it. 
Elders
But who shall assay this perilous task? 
Thief
(spinning dagger on fingertip)
I have for decades apprenticed to the crafts of stealth in movement and the opening of locked doors! 
Elders Indeed? Excellent! 
Warrior
(hefting an axe the size of a child)
I, veteran of a dozen wars, am skilled with shaft, steel and all arms of combat. 
Elders Outstanding! 
Wizard
(as lightning erupts from cupped hands)
I enslave the very forces of the cosmos, conjuring fire and terror from the very air. 
Elders Right on! 
Bard
(strikes harp)
My silver tongue sways any man to my cause, and my songs inspire heroic courage! 
Elders Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha 
Bard
No seriously I want to go 
Hidden Clue: To prevent the unlettered from befouling the stacks, Kharsos The Examiner demands any visitor to the Library of Nachtim-Nightwallowing answer three of five questions about books before permitting them entry. One is—which adventurer was not hired by the Elders to go on The Expedition in the play of that name? 
18. The Masterpiece 
A fierce and passionate artist, encouraged by his loyal muse, contrives his finest work yet: a portrait of the goddess of mercy in alabaster and red-veined marble, but the attempt only reveals his flaws and ultimately leads to his undoing. 
Lorraine
Is it finished? May I see it? 
Lagneau
Almost, almost...Wait, how many arms does a girl have? 
Lorraine Two, my love 
Lagneau Merde! 
Hidden Clue: On the next level of the dungeon is a statue of the goddess of mercy in alabaster in red-veined marble. It will have two arms, but—upon careful examination—the right arm and shoulder will be shown to have been added at a later date by a less-talented hand. Cracking off the second arm will reveal a lever which opens a secret door. 
19. The Second Expedition 
A sequel to The Expedition, the village (saved at the end of the previous work) is once again bedeviled, this time by demons accidentally unleashed by the first party. A new company is formed to face this threat. 
Sample: 
Bard
(still brandishing harp)
Look, I can do magic!
(Strums aggressively, a fireball flies from the harp) 
Elders Yyyeah. Next. 
Hidden Clue: Another of Kharsos the Examiner’s questions (see 17 above) is “What is the name of the sequel to The Expedition?” 
20. Glendower The Brephophagist 
A maiden’s long search for a husband appears to have reached a happy conclusion until it is revealed that her suitor eats babies. Sample: 
Elizabeth
Glendower, have you seen Doctor Minniver, he...AGHHH! 
Glendower ...ngumb...num...Oh hey Elivabeff 
Hidden Clue: Well now the party knows what “brephophagist” means—and this is LotFP so it will likely come up. Don’t let them look it up if they don’t remember.