1 00:00:01,701 --> 00:00:05,505 Captain's Log, Stardate 42402.7. 2 00:00:05,572 --> 00:00:06,000 We are traveling in the Omega Sagitta system 3 00:00:06,000 --> 00:00:08,208 We are traveling in the Omega Sagitta system 4 00:00:08,274 --> 00:00:10,410 traversing between the twin planets 5 00:00:10,477 --> 00:00:12,000 that form the Coalition of Madena. 6 00:00:12,000 --> 00:00:12,545 that form the Coalition of Madena. 7 00:00:12,612 --> 00:00:15,648 Both worlds are populated by a humanoid race 8 00:00:15,715 --> 00:00:18,000 which colonized the planets two centuries ago 9 00:00:18,000 --> 00:00:19,219 which colonized the planets two centuries ago 10 00:00:19,285 --> 00:00:20,653 and which now coexist 11 00:00:20,720 --> 00:00:24,000 under a precarious but successful treaty. 12 00:00:24,000 --> 00:00:24,023 under a precarious but successful treaty. 13 00:00:24,090 --> 00:00:27,193 Unidentified vessel approaching. 14 00:00:30,430 --> 00:00:34,367 DATA: Sensor readings show it to be 15 00:00:34,434 --> 00:00:36,000 a small Class 9 vessel. 16 00:00:36,000 --> 00:00:36,236 a small Class 9 vessel. 17 00:00:36,302 --> 00:00:38,805 Probably an interplanetary cargo ship. 18 00:00:38,872 --> 00:00:41,808 One life sign aboard, sir. 19 00:00:41,875 --> 00:00:42,000 WORF: It appears to be humanoid. 20 00:00:42,000 --> 00:00:45,044 WORF: It appears to be humanoid. 21 00:00:45,111 --> 00:00:47,080 I have its call sign now, sir. 22 00:00:47,147 --> 00:00:48,000 WORF: Confirmed. 23 00:00:48,000 --> 00:00:48,181 WORF: Confirmed. 24 00:00:48,248 --> 00:00:50,817 Armed with lasers only. 25 00:00:50,884 --> 00:00:52,752 Its cargo holds are empty. 26 00:00:52,819 --> 00:00:54,000 The readout shows its guidance system is malfunctioning. 27 00:00:54,000 --> 00:00:55,822 The readout shows its guidance system is malfunctioning. 28 00:00:55,889 --> 00:00:59,726 The pilot is attempting to hold course manually. 29 00:00:59,793 --> 00:01:00,000 I recommend we set the Enterprise 30 00:01:00,000 --> 00:01:01,261 I recommend we set the Enterprise 31 00:01:01,327 --> 00:01:02,328 on an intercept course 32 00:01:02,395 --> 00:01:04,164 in case he needs emergency assistance. 33 00:01:04,230 --> 00:01:05,832 Make it so, Mr. Crusher. 34 00:01:25,885 --> 00:01:28,354 We're in position now, Captain. 35 00:01:28,421 --> 00:01:30,000 Open hailing frequencies. 36 00:01:30,000 --> 00:01:30,356 Open hailing frequencies. 37 00:01:30,423 --> 00:01:31,825 Hailing frequencies open. 38 00:01:31,891 --> 00:01:33,660 On viewer. 39 00:01:33,726 --> 00:01:35,562 This is the USS Enterprise 40 00:01:35,628 --> 00:01:36,000 Captain Jean-Luc Picard. 41 00:01:36,000 --> 00:01:37,363 Captain Jean-Luc Picard. 42 00:01:37,430 --> 00:01:39,332 And this is the Cargo Carrier Erstwhile. 43 00:01:39,399 --> 00:01:41,501 Captain Okona at your service, sir. 44 00:01:41,568 --> 00:01:42,000 There's no need for your phasers, Captain. 45 00:01:42,000 --> 00:01:43,570 There's no need for your phasers, Captain. 46 00:01:43,636 --> 00:01:46,139 I'm harmless and not quite yet ready 47 00:01:46,206 --> 00:01:47,874 for a mercy killing. 48 00:01:47,941 --> 00:01:48,000 You were never considered a danger, Captain. 49 00:01:48,000 --> 00:01:50,710 You were never considered a danger, Captain. 50 00:01:50,777 --> 00:01:51,878 Oh, that's a shame. 51 00:01:51,945 --> 00:01:54,000 I can remember when I was at least considered a risk. 52 00:01:54,000 --> 00:01:54,881 I can remember when I was at least considered a risk. 53 00:01:56,382 --> 00:01:58,284 I'm the owner and operator of this craft 54 00:01:58,351 --> 00:02:00,000 and since we both know that you've already scanned it 55 00:02:00,000 --> 00:02:01,120 and since we both know that you've already scanned it 56 00:02:01,187 --> 00:02:05,425 you know I'm alone and empty, which is truly a rare occasion 57 00:02:05,492 --> 00:02:06,000 for a man of my charm and talent. 58 00:02:06,000 --> 00:02:07,794 for a man of my charm and talent. 59 00:02:07,861 --> 00:02:09,395 Mute main viewer. 60 00:02:09,462 --> 00:02:10,830 Counselor? 61 00:02:10,897 --> 00:02:11,931 His emotions suggest 62 00:02:11,998 --> 00:02:12,000 he's mischievous, irreverent, and somewhat brazen. 63 00:02:12,000 --> 00:02:16,903 he's mischievous, irreverent, and somewhat brazen. 64 00:02:16,970 --> 00:02:18,000 The word that seems to best describe him is "rogue." 65 00:02:18,000 --> 00:02:21,674 The word that seems to best describe him is "rogue." 66 00:02:21,741 --> 00:02:24,000 Rogue? 67 00:02:24,000 --> 00:02:24,210 Rogue? 68 00:02:24,277 --> 00:02:30,000 Ah, cad, knave, rake, rascal, villain, wild elephant... 69 00:02:30,000 --> 00:02:30,149 Ah, cad, knave, rake, rascal, villain, wild elephant... 70 00:02:30,216 --> 00:02:33,219 Yes, Data, but there is no malevolence or ill will. 71 00:02:34,687 --> 00:02:35,822 Audio on. 72 00:02:35,889 --> 00:02:36,000 Do you have a burnout in your guidance system, Captain? 73 00:02:36,000 --> 00:02:38,658 Do you have a burnout in your guidance system, Captain? 74 00:02:38,725 --> 00:02:39,592 Whoa. 75 00:02:39,659 --> 00:02:41,794 Since you're able to diagnose my problems 76 00:02:41,861 --> 00:02:42,000 how about helping me fix them? 77 00:02:42,000 --> 00:02:43,396 how about helping me fix them? 78 00:02:43,463 --> 00:02:48,000 Captain, we can easily repair the type of system he uses. 79 00:02:48,000 --> 00:02:48,201 Captain, we can easily repair the type of system he uses. 80 00:02:48,268 --> 00:02:50,370 We can accommodate you, Captain. 81 00:02:50,436 --> 00:02:52,171 This is the First Officer, sir. 82 00:02:52,238 --> 00:02:54,000 If you prepare to shut down your engines 83 00:02:54,000 --> 00:02:54,240 If you prepare to shut down your engines 84 00:02:54,307 --> 00:02:56,376 we can lock on the tractor and beam you over here. 85 00:02:56,442 --> 00:02:59,212 Sir, recommend limited access to our ship. 86 00:02:59,279 --> 00:03:00,000 Agreed. 87 00:03:00,000 --> 00:03:00,313 Agreed. 88 00:03:00,380 --> 00:03:01,915 Data, lock on the tractor beam. 89 00:03:01,981 --> 00:03:04,651 Transporter Chief, prepare to beam him aboard. 90 00:03:04,717 --> 00:03:05,952 Ready on your command, sir. 91 00:03:06,019 --> 00:03:07,921 OKONA: Excuse me, Commander. 92 00:03:07,987 --> 00:03:09,923 Is that a woman's voice I hear? 93 00:03:09,989 --> 00:03:12,000 Yes. Now please follow Commander Riker's instructions 94 00:03:12,000 --> 00:03:14,294 Yes. Now please follow Commander Riker's instructions 95 00:03:14,360 --> 00:03:17,964 so our ship can get back to its normal routine. 96 00:03:18,031 --> 00:03:19,899 Whatever you say, Captain. 97 00:03:19,966 --> 00:03:21,467 Something funny? 98 00:03:21,534 --> 00:03:24,000 Well, the unexpected is our normal routine. 99 00:03:24,000 --> 00:03:25,271 Well, the unexpected is our normal routine. 100 00:03:46,059 --> 00:03:48,000 Space, the final frontier. 101 00:03:48,000 --> 00:03:50,430 Space, the final frontier. 102 00:03:50,496 --> 00:03:54,000 These are the voyages of the Starship Enterprise. 103 00:03:54,000 --> 00:03:54,300 These are the voyages of the Starship Enterprise. 104 00:03:54,367 --> 00:03:56,302 Its continuing mission-- 105 00:03:56,369 --> 00:04:00,000 to explore strange new worlds 106 00:04:00,000 --> 00:04:00,273 to explore strange new worlds 107 00:04:00,340 --> 00:04:04,744 to seek out new life and new civilizations 108 00:04:04,811 --> 00:04:06,000 to boldly go where no one has gone before. 109 00:04:06,000 --> 00:04:09,282 to boldly go where no one has gone before. 110 00:05:10,043 --> 00:05:12,000 Hold it steady, Wesley. 111 00:05:12,000 --> 00:05:12,011 Hold it steady, Wesley. 112 00:05:12,078 --> 00:05:14,380 Ready to link up on my command. 113 00:05:14,447 --> 00:05:15,548 Aye, sir. 114 00:05:15,615 --> 00:05:17,383 Easy. 115 00:05:17,450 --> 00:05:18,000 Easy. 116 00:05:18,000 --> 00:05:18,918 Easy. 117 00:05:22,088 --> 00:05:24,000 Engage. 118 00:05:24,000 --> 00:05:25,458 Engage. 119 00:05:29,495 --> 00:05:30,000 Captain Okona, shut down your engines. 120 00:05:30,000 --> 00:05:31,364 Captain Okona, shut down your engines. 121 00:05:31,431 --> 00:05:32,498 Understood. 122 00:05:32,565 --> 00:05:35,601 Transporter Room, prepare for the beaming operation. 123 00:05:35,668 --> 00:05:36,000 We're on our way. 124 00:05:36,000 --> 00:05:36,602 We're on our way. 125 00:05:36,669 --> 00:05:37,970 Wesley, Data, let's go. 126 00:05:53,419 --> 00:05:54,000 Your weapons, please. 127 00:05:54,000 --> 00:05:55,521 Your weapons, please. 128 00:05:55,588 --> 00:05:59,025 A Klingon security officer. 129 00:05:59,092 --> 00:06:00,000 Yes. 130 00:06:00,000 --> 00:06:00,693 Yes. 131 00:06:00,760 --> 00:06:03,463 No wars available, eh? 132 00:06:12,939 --> 00:06:17,110 It's more a piece of jewelry than a weapon. 133 00:06:17,176 --> 00:06:18,000 A remembrance. 134 00:06:18,000 --> 00:06:19,045 A remembrance. 135 00:06:21,948 --> 00:06:23,382 Welcome aboard, Captain Okona. 136 00:06:23,449 --> 00:06:24,000 I'm Commander Riker. 137 00:06:24,000 --> 00:06:24,317 I'm Commander Riker. 138 00:06:24,383 --> 00:06:26,419 If you'll turn over the inoperative part 139 00:06:26,486 --> 00:06:27,987 to Commander Data, we can begin repairs. 140 00:06:28,054 --> 00:06:30,000 I'd be most happy to do the work myself, Commander. 141 00:06:30,000 --> 00:06:30,456 I'd be most happy to do the work myself, Commander. 142 00:06:30,523 --> 00:06:32,658 I'm sort of the hands-on type. 143 00:06:32,725 --> 00:06:35,795 I think you'd find the tools we use rather unusual, sir. 144 00:06:35,862 --> 00:06:36,000 I can believe that. 145 00:06:36,000 --> 00:06:37,096 I can believe that. 146 00:06:37,163 --> 00:06:38,998 May I at least watch? 147 00:06:39,065 --> 00:06:41,033 That can be arranged. 148 00:06:41,100 --> 00:06:42,000 Good then. 149 00:06:42,000 --> 00:06:42,468 Good then. 150 00:06:42,535 --> 00:06:45,071 Commander, I leave this in your capable hands. 151 00:06:45,138 --> 00:06:47,440 Sir, this is Commander Data. 152 00:06:47,507 --> 00:06:48,000 I'm just an acting ensign. 153 00:06:48,000 --> 00:06:48,808 I'm just an acting ensign. 154 00:06:48,875 --> 00:06:51,410 Well, acting ensigns have names, don't they? 155 00:06:51,477 --> 00:06:52,745 Wesley. 156 00:06:52,812 --> 00:06:54,000 Wesley Crusher. 157 00:06:54,000 --> 00:06:54,147 Wesley Crusher. 158 00:06:54,213 --> 00:06:55,948 Nice to meet you 159 00:06:56,015 --> 00:06:57,517 Acting Ensign Wesley, Wesley Crusher. 160 00:07:00,219 --> 00:07:03,856 And thank you for beaming me here 161 00:07:03,923 --> 00:07:06,000 and enabling me to see a truly beautiful woman. 162 00:07:06,000 --> 00:07:08,961 and enabling me to see a truly beautiful woman. 163 00:07:09,028 --> 00:07:11,164 You have the majestic carriage and loveliness 164 00:07:11,230 --> 00:07:12,000 that could surely be traced back to the noblest families. 165 00:07:12,000 --> 00:07:14,167 that could surely be traced back to the noblest families. 166 00:07:15,935 --> 00:07:18,000 Well, I'm sure you've said that to many ladies before. 167 00:07:18,000 --> 00:07:19,071 Well, I'm sure you've said that to many ladies before. 168 00:07:19,138 --> 00:07:22,208 And it was no more true then, than it is now. 169 00:07:22,275 --> 00:07:24,000 But it's how I say it that's really important. 170 00:07:24,000 --> 00:07:25,011 But it's how I say it that's really important. 171 00:07:25,077 --> 00:07:30,000 The warmth, the attraction that I have for you 172 00:07:30,000 --> 00:07:30,183 The warmth, the attraction that I have for you 173 00:07:30,249 --> 00:07:34,487 the attraction that we share. 174 00:07:37,056 --> 00:07:40,726 Mr. Okona appears to have excellent vision 175 00:07:40,793 --> 00:07:42,000 as well as a healthy libido. 176 00:07:42,000 --> 00:07:43,563 as well as a healthy libido. 177 00:07:46,065 --> 00:07:48,000 Captain Okona, if you'll follow Commander Data 178 00:07:48,000 --> 00:07:49,168 Captain Okona, if you'll follow Commander Data 179 00:07:49,235 --> 00:07:51,470 you can get started right away. 180 00:07:58,911 --> 00:08:00,000 Now, that's sex appeal. 181 00:08:00,000 --> 00:08:01,681 Now, that's sex appeal. 182 00:08:01,747 --> 00:08:04,517 Sexual attraction in this context 183 00:08:04,584 --> 00:08:06,000 is not a part of my programming. 184 00:08:06,000 --> 00:08:07,253 is not a part of my programming. 185 00:08:07,320 --> 00:08:08,487 I am an android. 186 00:08:08,554 --> 00:08:12,000 Well then, have you seen any good-looking computers lately? 187 00:08:12,000 --> 00:08:13,392 Well then, have you seen any good-looking computers lately? 188 00:08:17,263 --> 00:08:18,000 That's a joke. 189 00:08:18,000 --> 00:08:18,965 That's a joke. 190 00:08:19,031 --> 00:08:20,566 It's funny. 191 00:08:20,633 --> 00:08:21,567 Oh. 192 00:08:21,634 --> 00:08:23,035 Of course it is. 193 00:08:23,102 --> 00:08:24,000 ( forced laughter ) 194 00:08:24,000 --> 00:08:25,104 ( forced laughter ) 195 00:08:31,644 --> 00:08:33,713 Will that do what the original did? 196 00:08:33,779 --> 00:08:35,214 Sure will, and better. 197 00:08:35,281 --> 00:08:36,000 Let me show you. 198 00:08:36,000 --> 00:08:36,582 Let me show you. 199 00:08:36,649 --> 00:08:37,650 On your old one here 200 00:08:37,717 --> 00:08:41,220 the zelebium contacts wore down and then fused. 201 00:08:41,287 --> 00:08:42,000 Now, what I've done 202 00:08:42,000 --> 00:08:42,622 Now, what I've done 203 00:08:42,688 --> 00:08:44,290 is replace them with tricellite. 204 00:08:44,357 --> 00:08:47,260 Tricellite isn't available in this system. 205 00:08:47,326 --> 00:08:48,000 If I ever had to replace it... 206 00:08:48,000 --> 00:08:49,595 If I ever had to replace it... 207 00:08:49,662 --> 00:08:50,429 Don't worry, you won't. 208 00:08:50,496 --> 00:08:52,732 Your ship will never outlast this part. 209 00:08:52,798 --> 00:08:54,000 Because of the part or the way I fly my ship? 210 00:08:54,000 --> 00:08:54,834 Because of the part or the way I fly my ship? 211 00:08:54,901 --> 00:08:55,835 ( laughing ) 212 00:08:55,902 --> 00:08:57,970 Well, this part, but the stress test 213 00:08:58,037 --> 00:09:00,000 did show that you tend to push your ship 214 00:09:00,000 --> 00:09:00,273 did show that you tend to push your ship 215 00:09:00,339 --> 00:09:01,274 a little beyond 216 00:09:01,340 --> 00:09:02,842 it's design capabilities. 217 00:09:02,909 --> 00:09:06,000 ( chuckling ): Blame the pattern of my life, Lieutenant La Forge. 218 00:09:06,000 --> 00:09:06,312 ( chuckling ): Blame the pattern of my life, Lieutenant La Forge. 219 00:09:06,379 --> 00:09:08,881 Because it relegates me to cargo carrying 220 00:09:08,948 --> 00:09:11,684 rather than the grand explorations you enjoy 221 00:09:11,751 --> 00:09:12,000 I am forced to add a measure of flamboyancy and zest 222 00:09:12,000 --> 00:09:14,921 I am forced to add a measure of flamboyancy and zest 223 00:09:14,987 --> 00:09:17,857 to the doldrum of my existence. 224 00:09:23,629 --> 00:09:24,000 Have you ever been cold? 225 00:09:24,000 --> 00:09:25,231 Have you ever been cold? 226 00:09:25,298 --> 00:09:26,565 No. 227 00:09:26,632 --> 00:09:27,700 Warm, then? 228 00:09:27,767 --> 00:09:29,035 No. 229 00:09:29,101 --> 00:09:30,000 What about drunk? Ever do that? 230 00:09:30,000 --> 00:09:31,704 What about drunk? Ever do that? 231 00:09:31,771 --> 00:09:32,705 From alcohol? 232 00:09:32,772 --> 00:09:34,340 That is not possible for me, sir. 233 00:09:34,407 --> 00:09:36,000 Pity. 234 00:09:36,000 --> 00:09:36,208 Pity. 235 00:09:36,275 --> 00:09:37,710 What about love? 236 00:09:37,777 --> 00:09:40,212 The act or the emotion? 237 00:09:40,279 --> 00:09:42,000 They're both the same. 238 00:09:42,000 --> 00:09:42,348 They're both the same. 239 00:09:42,415 --> 00:09:45,885 I believe that statement to be inaccurate, sir. 240 00:09:45,952 --> 00:09:47,887 Maybe. 241 00:09:47,954 --> 00:09:48,000 Life is like loading twice your cargo weight 242 00:09:48,000 --> 00:09:51,857 Life is like loading twice your cargo weight 243 00:09:51,924 --> 00:09:53,793 onto your spacecraft. 244 00:09:53,859 --> 00:09:54,000 If it's canaries 245 00:09:54,000 --> 00:09:55,261 If it's canaries 246 00:09:55,328 --> 00:09:59,966 and you can keep half of them flying all of the time 247 00:10:00,032 --> 00:10:01,167 you're all right. 248 00:10:01,233 --> 00:10:05,237 I doubt that statement is entirely accurate either, sir. 249 00:10:05,304 --> 00:10:06,000 Accurate? That was a joke I just told you. 250 00:10:06,000 --> 00:10:08,374 Accurate? That was a joke I just told you. 251 00:10:08,441 --> 00:10:11,143 I do not understand. 252 00:10:11,210 --> 00:10:12,000 You don't know what a joke is? 253 00:10:12,000 --> 00:10:12,778 You don't know what a joke is? 254 00:10:12,845 --> 00:10:13,913 Of course I do. 255 00:10:13,980 --> 00:10:16,682 It is a witticism, a gag, a bon mot 256 00:10:16,749 --> 00:10:18,000 a fluctuation of words concluding with a trick ending. 257 00:10:18,000 --> 00:10:19,685 a fluctuation of words concluding with a trick ending. 258 00:10:19,752 --> 00:10:21,320 That's the dictionary meaning. 259 00:10:21,387 --> 00:10:23,289 I'm talking about humor, fun. 260 00:10:23,356 --> 00:10:24,000 Do you know what funny is? 261 00:10:24,000 --> 00:10:24,957 Do you know what funny is? 262 00:10:27,326 --> 00:10:29,862 Where is 806? 263 00:10:29,929 --> 00:10:30,000 Right over there, sir. 264 00:10:30,000 --> 00:10:31,397 Right over there, sir. 265 00:10:31,464 --> 00:10:33,399 Why? 266 00:10:33,466 --> 00:10:36,000 You probably wouldn't understand that, either. 267 00:10:36,000 --> 00:10:38,704 You probably wouldn't understand that, either. 268 00:10:45,478 --> 00:10:47,813 Hello there. 269 00:11:09,835 --> 00:11:10,903 Status on the repair? 270 00:11:10,970 --> 00:11:12,000 Working on it. 271 00:11:12,000 --> 00:11:12,204 Working on it. 272 00:11:12,271 --> 00:11:16,008 Commander, what do you think of Captain Okona? 273 00:11:16,075 --> 00:11:18,000 Well, Okona is an interesting man, certainly. 274 00:11:18,000 --> 00:11:20,279 Well, Okona is an interesting man, certainly. 275 00:11:20,346 --> 00:11:22,381 We've seen how he handles his ship. 276 00:11:22,448 --> 00:11:24,000 Apparently, he knows how to handle people as well. 277 00:11:24,000 --> 00:11:25,284 Apparently, he knows how to handle people as well. 278 00:11:25,351 --> 00:11:26,886 Then, why does he work alone? 279 00:11:26,952 --> 00:11:30,000 He's a man who lives his life by his own rules. 280 00:11:30,000 --> 00:11:30,289 He's a man who lives his life by his own rules. 281 00:11:30,356 --> 00:11:31,424 He does what he does by choice-- 282 00:11:31,490 --> 00:11:32,758 by his choice. 283 00:11:32,825 --> 00:11:34,927 Someday, you'll make yours. 284 00:11:35,995 --> 00:11:36,000 I already have. 285 00:11:36,000 --> 00:11:37,730 I already have. 286 00:11:46,439 --> 00:11:48,000 So, you agree with Okona 287 00:11:48,000 --> 00:11:48,107 So, you agree with Okona 288 00:11:48,174 --> 00:11:49,275 that I am missing 289 00:11:49,341 --> 00:11:51,310 a very important human factor. 290 00:11:51,377 --> 00:11:52,812 I never said that. 291 00:11:52,878 --> 00:11:54,000 I simply said 292 00:11:54,000 --> 00:11:54,013 I simply said 293 00:11:54,080 --> 00:11:56,248 that I've never seen you laugh. 294 00:11:56,315 --> 00:12:00,000 I am capable of that function when it is expected of me. 295 00:12:00,000 --> 00:12:01,220 I am capable of that function when it is expected of me. 296 00:12:01,287 --> 00:12:05,391 Data, do you even know what a joke is? 297 00:12:05,458 --> 00:12:06,000 Of course I do. 298 00:12:06,000 --> 00:12:06,692 Of course I do. 299 00:12:06,759 --> 00:12:10,229 It is a witticism, a gag, a bon mot, a fluctuation... 300 00:12:10,296 --> 00:12:11,230 Stop. 301 00:12:11,297 --> 00:12:12,000 Look, it's just you and I here. 302 00:12:12,000 --> 00:12:13,866 Look, it's just you and I here. 303 00:12:13,933 --> 00:12:16,502 We're talking, we're having an intimate conversation. 304 00:12:16,569 --> 00:12:18,000 Why? 305 00:12:18,000 --> 00:12:18,037 Why? 306 00:12:18,104 --> 00:12:21,140 Because you're a droid and I'm a noid. 307 00:12:21,207 --> 00:12:22,208 But why? 308 00:12:22,274 --> 00:12:23,943 Because that's what I am. 309 00:12:24,009 --> 00:12:26,879 Have I said something to offend you? 310 00:12:26,946 --> 00:12:27,880 No. 311 00:12:27,947 --> 00:12:29,949 Then why are you annoyed? 312 00:12:30,015 --> 00:12:33,953 Because you're a droid 313 00:12:34,019 --> 00:12:36,000 and I'm a noid. 314 00:12:36,000 --> 00:12:36,755 and I'm a noid. 315 00:12:37,590 --> 00:12:39,859 Humanoid. 316 00:12:39,925 --> 00:12:40,860 Yes. 317 00:12:40,926 --> 00:12:42,000 You told a joke? Yes. 318 00:12:42,000 --> 00:12:42,061 You told a joke? Yes. 319 00:12:42,128 --> 00:12:42,962 I am not laughing. 320 00:12:43,028 --> 00:12:44,196 Yes! 321 00:12:44,263 --> 00:12:47,933 Perhaps the joke was not funny. 322 00:12:48,000 --> 00:12:49,535 No, the joke was funny. 323 00:12:49,602 --> 00:12:51,070 It's you, Data. 324 00:12:52,071 --> 00:12:53,305 Are you sure? 325 00:12:53,372 --> 00:12:54,000 Yes. 326 00:12:54,000 --> 00:12:54,306 Yes. 327 00:12:54,373 --> 00:12:55,841 I agree. 328 00:12:55,908 --> 00:12:57,376 What do I do? 329 00:12:57,443 --> 00:12:59,945 Well, under normal circumstances 330 00:13:00,012 --> 00:13:02,014 I'd say seek a higher power. 331 00:13:02,081 --> 00:13:03,849 But, in your case 332 00:13:03,916 --> 00:13:06,000 probably a smarter computer's in order. 333 00:13:06,000 --> 00:13:07,386 probably a smarter computer's in order. 334 00:13:12,391 --> 00:13:15,895 Computer, I wish to know more about humor. 335 00:13:15,961 --> 00:13:18,000 Why certain combinations of words and actions 336 00:13:18,000 --> 00:13:19,298 Why certain combinations of words and actions 337 00:13:19,365 --> 00:13:20,566 make humans laugh. 338 00:13:20,633 --> 00:13:23,836 Source material on that subject is extensive. 339 00:13:23,903 --> 00:13:24,000 Please specify. 340 00:13:24,000 --> 00:13:25,237 Please specify. 341 00:13:25,304 --> 00:13:30,000 Animated presentation, humanoid, interaction required. 342 00:13:30,000 --> 00:13:30,042 Animated presentation, humanoid, interaction required. 343 00:13:30,109 --> 00:13:33,345 Physical humor, cerebral, or general raconteur? 344 00:13:33,412 --> 00:13:36,000 Of all performers available who is considered funniest? 345 00:13:36,000 --> 00:13:38,584 Of all performers available who is considered funniest? 346 00:13:38,651 --> 00:13:40,920 23rd century, Stano Riga. 347 00:13:40,986 --> 00:13:42,000 Specialized in jokes about quantum mathematics. 348 00:13:42,000 --> 00:13:45,057 Specialized in jokes about quantum mathematics. 349 00:13:45,124 --> 00:13:46,892 No, too esoteric. 350 00:13:46,959 --> 00:13:48,000 More generic. 351 00:13:48,000 --> 00:13:48,327 More generic. 352 00:13:48,394 --> 00:13:49,828 Accessing. 353 00:13:54,366 --> 00:13:55,501 That one. 354 00:13:55,568 --> 00:13:58,370 RW 96321. 355 00:13:58,437 --> 00:13:59,305 20th century. 356 00:13:59,371 --> 00:14:00,000 Program complete. 357 00:14:00,000 --> 00:14:00,973 Program complete. 358 00:14:01,040 --> 00:14:02,374 You may enter. 359 00:14:16,255 --> 00:14:17,356 Thank you, ladies and gentlemen. 360 00:14:17,423 --> 00:14:18,000 Thank you very much. 361 00:14:18,000 --> 00:14:18,357 Thank you very much. 362 00:14:18,424 --> 00:14:19,625 You've been great. 363 00:14:19,692 --> 00:14:22,361 As a matter of fact, I'd like to take you all home with me. 364 00:14:22,428 --> 00:14:24,000 Unfortunately, I took the last audience home 365 00:14:24,000 --> 00:14:24,263 Unfortunately, I took the last audience home 366 00:14:24,330 --> 00:14:25,364 and there's no more room. 367 00:14:25,431 --> 00:14:26,365 Ba-boom. 368 00:14:26,432 --> 00:14:27,366 But thank you, really. 369 00:14:27,433 --> 00:14:28,300 Thank you. 370 00:14:28,367 --> 00:14:30,000 Hey, and thank you for bringing me here. 371 00:14:30,000 --> 00:14:30,336 Hey, and thank you for bringing me here. 372 00:14:30,402 --> 00:14:31,604 What's up? 373 00:14:31,670 --> 00:14:33,572 Mr. Comic, I wish to know what is funny. 374 00:14:33,639 --> 00:14:35,074 Funny? I don't know. 375 00:14:35,140 --> 00:14:36,000 It's a matter of opinion I guess, uh... 376 00:14:36,000 --> 00:14:37,343 It's a matter of opinion I guess, uh... 377 00:14:37,409 --> 00:14:39,044 Tip O'Neill in a dress. 378 00:14:39,111 --> 00:14:42,000 Some people say words that end with a "k" 379 00:14:42,000 --> 00:14:42,348 Some people say words that end with a "k" 380 00:14:42,414 --> 00:14:43,182 are funny. 381 00:14:43,249 --> 00:14:45,384 A briefcase that looks like a fish-- 382 00:14:45,451 --> 00:14:47,419 personally, I find that hysterical. 383 00:14:47,486 --> 00:14:48,000 Tip O'Neill-- accessing. 384 00:14:48,000 --> 00:14:51,290 Tip O'Neill-- accessing. 385 00:14:52,358 --> 00:14:54,000 20th century male, politician, overweight. 386 00:14:54,000 --> 00:14:56,362 20th century male, politician, overweight. 387 00:14:56,428 --> 00:14:58,297 Wearing female clothing. 388 00:14:58,364 --> 00:15:00,000 Carrying a valise that looks like a fish. 389 00:15:00,000 --> 00:15:01,367 Carrying a valise that looks like a fish. 390 00:15:01,433 --> 00:15:06,000 So, the juxtaposition of gender and an amphibian briefcase 391 00:15:06,000 --> 00:15:07,339 So, the juxtaposition of gender and an amphibian briefcase 392 00:15:07,406 --> 00:15:08,340 is funny. 393 00:15:08,407 --> 00:15:11,910 Well, I think whatever makes you laugh is funny. 394 00:15:15,381 --> 00:15:17,316 Nothing makes me laugh. 395 00:15:17,383 --> 00:15:18,000 I wish to learn. 396 00:15:18,000 --> 00:15:18,417 I wish to learn. 397 00:15:18,484 --> 00:15:21,320 Well, how much time do we have here? 398 00:15:21,387 --> 00:15:22,454 Unlimited. 399 00:15:22,521 --> 00:15:24,000 We're going to need it. 400 00:15:24,000 --> 00:15:24,456 We're going to need it. 401 00:15:24,523 --> 00:15:26,592 Because you, pal, are a tough room. 402 00:15:26,659 --> 00:15:28,027 Tough room? 403 00:15:28,093 --> 00:15:29,028 Ah. 404 00:15:29,094 --> 00:15:30,000 A colloquialism meaning 405 00:15:30,000 --> 00:15:30,529 A colloquialism meaning 406 00:15:30,596 --> 00:15:33,332 a severe, rigid, close-minded audience. 407 00:15:33,399 --> 00:15:34,433 I understand. 408 00:15:34,500 --> 00:15:36,000 I will attempt to be an easy room. 409 00:15:36,000 --> 00:15:37,503 I will attempt to be an easy room. 410 00:15:37,569 --> 00:15:39,338 Show me what is funny. 411 00:15:39,405 --> 00:15:41,340 All right, you're on. 412 00:15:41,407 --> 00:15:42,000 Uh... 413 00:15:42,000 --> 00:15:42,341 Uh... 414 00:15:42,408 --> 00:15:45,477 Jerry Lewis. Jerry Lewis. 415 00:15:47,446 --> 00:15:48,000 ( imitating Jerry Lewis): Haaa! 416 00:15:48,000 --> 00:15:49,381 ( imitating Jerry Lewis): Haaa! 417 00:15:49,448 --> 00:15:51,183 Ooh! 418 00:15:51,250 --> 00:15:53,352 I'd be short for a moment if I could just... 419 00:15:53,419 --> 00:15:54,000 Say, I... 420 00:15:54,000 --> 00:15:54,653 Say, I... 421 00:15:54,720 --> 00:15:56,288 Oh! Ooh... 422 00:15:56,355 --> 00:15:57,690 Mr. Robot, would you 423 00:15:57,756 --> 00:15:59,058 like to come up and try... 424 00:15:59,124 --> 00:16:00,000 I am an android. 425 00:16:00,000 --> 00:16:00,059 I am an android. 426 00:16:00,125 --> 00:16:01,060 Oh, I'm terribly sorry. 427 00:16:01,126 --> 00:16:03,128 Mr. Android, here, here, teeth. 428 00:16:03,195 --> 00:16:05,064 Put them in your mouth. 429 00:16:05,130 --> 00:16:06,000 Come up, mister... 430 00:16:06,000 --> 00:16:06,365 Come up, mister... 431 00:16:06,432 --> 00:16:07,700 Where did he go? 432 00:16:07,766 --> 00:16:09,234 Where did Mr....? 433 00:16:09,301 --> 00:16:11,403 Here, try, if you would... 434 00:16:11,470 --> 00:16:12,000 You do "haaa." 435 00:16:12,000 --> 00:16:12,404 You do "haaa." 436 00:16:12,471 --> 00:16:13,405 Haaa. 437 00:16:13,472 --> 00:16:15,174 No, "ha-hiyee." 438 00:16:15,240 --> 00:16:16,508 Ha-hiyee. 439 00:16:16,575 --> 00:16:17,643 Eeeh! 440 00:16:17,710 --> 00:16:18,000 Eeeh! 441 00:16:18,000 --> 00:16:19,178 Eeeh! 442 00:16:19,244 --> 00:16:20,245 You go "hee!" 443 00:16:20,312 --> 00:16:21,246 Hee! 444 00:16:21,313 --> 00:16:22,715 Ya! 445 00:16:24,316 --> 00:16:25,617 That is consider... 446 00:16:26,618 --> 00:16:29,021 That is considered to be funny? 447 00:16:29,088 --> 00:16:30,000 Actually, it brought the house down at Teaneck. 448 00:16:30,000 --> 00:16:32,524 Actually, it brought the house down at Teaneck. 449 00:16:32,591 --> 00:16:34,526 Ah, a word that ends in a "k." 450 00:16:34,593 --> 00:16:36,000 So, if you put funny teeth in your mouth 451 00:16:36,000 --> 00:16:37,496 So, if you put funny teeth in your mouth 452 00:16:37,563 --> 00:16:39,998 and jump around like an idiot 453 00:16:40,065 --> 00:16:42,000 that is considered funny? 454 00:16:42,000 --> 00:16:42,034 that is considered funny? 455 00:16:42,101 --> 00:16:44,370 I'm sorry, I didn't get your name. 456 00:16:44,436 --> 00:16:45,404 Data. 457 00:16:45,471 --> 00:16:48,000 Data, look, did you ever consider, uh... juggling? 458 00:16:48,000 --> 00:16:48,240 Data, look, did you ever consider, uh... juggling? 459 00:16:48,307 --> 00:16:50,275 Weird birdcalls? Something like that? 460 00:16:50,342 --> 00:16:52,478 That does not apply. 461 00:16:52,544 --> 00:16:54,000 I simply want to know what is funny. 462 00:16:54,000 --> 00:16:55,147 I simply want to know what is funny. 463 00:16:55,214 --> 00:16:59,084 I want to involve myself in other people's laughter. 464 00:16:59,151 --> 00:17:00,000 I wish to join in. 465 00:17:00,000 --> 00:17:00,486 I wish to join in. 466 00:17:00,552 --> 00:17:01,320 Well, I think that's nice. 467 00:17:01,387 --> 00:17:03,288 You know, let's put the physical stuff 468 00:17:03,355 --> 00:17:04,456 aside for awhile, all right? 469 00:17:04,523 --> 00:17:05,724 And we'll do uh, uh... some jokes. 470 00:17:05,791 --> 00:17:06,000 You see, that's not my forte 471 00:17:06,000 --> 00:17:07,192 You see, that's not my forte 472 00:17:07,259 --> 00:17:08,761 but I think that would work good for you. 473 00:17:08,827 --> 00:17:10,295 If you would just have a seat 474 00:17:10,362 --> 00:17:11,630 and we'll try some jokes. 475 00:17:11,697 --> 00:17:12,000 Like, uh, I don't know-- 476 00:17:12,000 --> 00:17:13,332 Like, uh, I don't know-- 477 00:17:13,399 --> 00:17:15,167 we'll start with the classics. 478 00:17:15,234 --> 00:17:17,069 See, there's this traveling salesman, now 479 00:17:17,136 --> 00:17:18,000 and he's going down the road and his car breaks down. 480 00:17:18,000 --> 00:17:18,470 and he's going down the road and his car breaks down. 481 00:17:18,537 --> 00:17:20,272 Access faster. 482 00:17:20,339 --> 00:17:21,407 He comes upon this farmhouse... 483 00:17:21,473 --> 00:17:22,541 ( speaking very fast ): Now it's probably best 484 00:17:22,608 --> 00:17:23,509 when you do something like this is using a little cigar 485 00:17:23,575 --> 00:17:24,000 because it's kind of a prop kind of thing... 486 00:17:24,000 --> 00:17:24,743 because it's kind of a prop kind of thing... 487 00:17:24,810 --> 00:17:25,744 Faster. 488 00:17:25,811 --> 00:17:27,579 Move to maximum speed. 489 00:17:27,646 --> 00:17:30,000 ( speaking at tape fast forward speed ) 490 00:17:30,000 --> 00:17:31,150 ( speaking at tape fast forward speed ) 491 00:17:40,292 --> 00:17:42,000 A guy walks into the doctor's office. 492 00:17:42,000 --> 00:17:42,194 A guy walks into the doctor's office. 493 00:17:42,261 --> 00:17:44,496 The doctor tells him, "You need an operation." 494 00:17:44,563 --> 00:17:46,665 The guy says, "I want a second opinion." 495 00:17:46,732 --> 00:17:48,000 The doctor says, "Okay, you're ugly, too." 496 00:17:48,000 --> 00:17:49,168 The doctor says, "Okay, you're ugly, too." 497 00:17:49,234 --> 00:17:50,235 Ba-doom-boom. 498 00:17:51,737 --> 00:17:53,372 Was I funny? 499 00:17:53,439 --> 00:17:54,000 No. 500 00:17:54,000 --> 00:17:55,174 No. 501 00:18:02,548 --> 00:18:03,615 Data... 502 00:18:03,682 --> 00:18:05,651 you spoiled the joke. 503 00:18:05,717 --> 00:18:06,000 It could have been your timing. 504 00:18:06,000 --> 00:18:08,587 It could have been your timing. 505 00:18:08,654 --> 00:18:10,622 My timing is digital. 506 00:18:12,558 --> 00:18:13,559 What? 507 00:18:14,560 --> 00:18:15,828 That's funny. 508 00:18:15,894 --> 00:18:17,529 Why? 509 00:18:17,596 --> 00:18:18,000 It would take too long to explain. 510 00:18:18,000 --> 00:18:19,865 It would take too long to explain. 511 00:18:19,932 --> 00:18:21,733 Tell me another joke. 512 00:18:21,800 --> 00:18:24,000 A monk, a clone and a Ferengi decided to go bowling together. 513 00:18:24,000 --> 00:18:25,337 A monk, a clone and a Ferengi decided to go bowling together. 514 00:18:25,404 --> 00:18:29,608 PICARD: Commander Data, report to the Main Bridge immediately. 515 00:18:30,876 --> 00:18:32,578 I will be back. 516 00:18:35,380 --> 00:18:36,000 Bring new jokes. 517 00:18:36,000 --> 00:18:36,882 Bring new jokes. 518 00:18:43,455 --> 00:18:47,459 WORF: We have an "unidentified" at 12 mark 4. 519 00:18:49,361 --> 00:18:51,563 No response to our inquiries. 520 00:18:51,630 --> 00:18:54,000 Extend hailing frequencies, all languages, all channels. 521 00:18:54,000 --> 00:18:54,433 Extend hailing frequencies, all languages, all channels. 522 00:18:54,500 --> 00:18:55,734 Extending. 523 00:18:55,801 --> 00:18:59,171 DATA: Sensors show it to be an interplanetary vessel, sir. 524 00:18:59,238 --> 00:19:00,000 Class 7, crew complement 26. 525 00:19:00,000 --> 00:19:01,840 Class 7, crew complement 26. 526 00:19:01,907 --> 00:19:04,176 WORF: Still no response. 527 00:19:26,665 --> 00:19:29,668 Captain, they are now locking lasers on us. 528 00:19:29,735 --> 00:19:30,000 Lasers? 529 00:19:30,000 --> 00:19:30,702 Lasers? 530 00:19:30,769 --> 00:19:32,271 Yes, sir. 531 00:19:32,337 --> 00:19:34,773 Lasers can't even penetrate our navigation shields. 532 00:19:34,840 --> 00:19:36,000 Don't they know that? 533 00:19:36,000 --> 00:19:36,208 Don't they know that? 534 00:19:36,275 --> 00:19:39,478 Regulations do call for a yellow alert. 535 00:19:39,545 --> 00:19:41,780 Hmm, very old regulation. 536 00:19:41,847 --> 00:19:42,000 Well, make it so, Number One. 537 00:19:42,000 --> 00:19:44,616 Well, make it so, Number One. 538 00:19:44,683 --> 00:19:45,918 And reduce speed. 539 00:19:45,984 --> 00:19:48,000 Drop main shields as well. 540 00:19:48,000 --> 00:19:48,453 Drop main shields as well. 541 00:19:48,520 --> 00:19:50,556 May I ask why, sir? 542 00:19:50,622 --> 00:19:54,000 In case we decide to surrender to them, Number One. 543 00:19:54,000 --> 00:19:54,393 In case we decide to surrender to them, Number One. 544 00:19:57,563 --> 00:19:59,698 ( disgruntled growl ) 545 00:20:07,539 --> 00:20:09,908 Still no response to our hail, sir. 546 00:20:09,975 --> 00:20:11,276 It is slowing 547 00:20:11,343 --> 00:20:12,000 and holding its position, Captain. 548 00:20:12,000 --> 00:20:13,912 and holding its position, Captain. 549 00:20:13,979 --> 00:20:16,415 Sir, we are now being hailed. 550 00:20:16,481 --> 00:20:17,816 Viewer on. 551 00:20:20,686 --> 00:20:21,920 Federation vessel 552 00:20:21,987 --> 00:20:24,000 you have no rights in this solar system. 553 00:20:24,000 --> 00:20:24,590 you have no rights in this solar system. 554 00:20:24,656 --> 00:20:26,592 I am Debin of Planet Altec 555 00:20:26,658 --> 00:20:30,000 ordering you to heave to and prepare to be boarded. 556 00:20:30,000 --> 00:20:30,596 ordering you to heave to and prepare to be boarded. 557 00:20:30,662 --> 00:20:33,465 Shades of Gulliver's Travels. 558 00:20:33,532 --> 00:20:34,933 He actually meant it. 559 00:20:35,000 --> 00:20:36,000 But he is right. 560 00:20:36,000 --> 00:20:36,468 But he is right. 561 00:20:36,535 --> 00:20:39,471 We are in their solar system. 562 00:20:39,538 --> 00:20:41,440 Open a channel. 563 00:20:41,506 --> 00:20:42,000 Open, sir. 564 00:20:42,000 --> 00:20:44,242 Open, sir. 565 00:20:44,309 --> 00:20:47,713 I'm Captain Jean-Luc Picard of the USS Enterprise. 566 00:20:47,779 --> 00:20:48,000 For what reason have you locked your weapons on us? 567 00:20:48,000 --> 00:20:51,316 For what reason have you locked your weapons on us? 568 00:20:51,383 --> 00:20:53,385 Enterprise, you are towing the spacecraft 569 00:20:53,452 --> 00:20:54,000 of a known criminal. 570 00:20:54,000 --> 00:20:54,753 of a known criminal. 571 00:20:56,455 --> 00:20:59,424 He was in need of emergency repair. 572 00:20:59,491 --> 00:21:00,000 It was our obligation to assist. 573 00:21:00,000 --> 00:21:01,293 It was our obligation to assist. 574 00:21:01,360 --> 00:21:04,563 You have a man aboard by the name of Okona. 575 00:21:04,630 --> 00:21:05,864 I want him. 576 00:21:05,931 --> 00:21:06,000 On what authority? 577 00:21:06,000 --> 00:21:07,432 On what authority? 578 00:21:07,499 --> 00:21:09,401 He is guilty of crimes 579 00:21:09,468 --> 00:21:11,269 committed on the planet Altec. 580 00:21:11,336 --> 00:21:12,000 I expect him to be turned over to my authority immediately. 581 00:21:12,000 --> 00:21:15,907 I expect him to be turned over to my authority immediately. 582 00:21:15,974 --> 00:21:16,975 Mute. 583 00:21:17,042 --> 00:21:18,000 What do you think, Counselor? 584 00:21:18,000 --> 00:21:19,845 What do you think, Counselor? 585 00:21:19,911 --> 00:21:21,580 He believes what he's saying. 586 00:21:21,647 --> 00:21:23,515 His anger is genuine. 587 00:21:24,816 --> 00:21:26,752 Open. 588 00:21:29,521 --> 00:21:30,000 What crimes are you referring to? 589 00:21:30,000 --> 00:21:32,324 What crimes are you referring to? 590 00:21:32,391 --> 00:21:34,459 That is neither important nor necessary. 591 00:21:34,526 --> 00:21:36,000 I want Okona now! 592 00:21:36,000 --> 00:21:37,562 I want Okona now! 593 00:21:37,629 --> 00:21:40,298 Captain, we have another class 7 armed spacecraft approaching 594 00:21:40,365 --> 00:21:41,733 from the opposite sector. 595 00:21:41,800 --> 00:21:42,000 Another ship from Altec? 596 00:21:42,000 --> 00:21:43,902 Another ship from Altec? 597 00:21:43,969 --> 00:21:46,705 Similar in specifications and capabilities 598 00:21:46,772 --> 00:21:48,000 but a variation in markings 599 00:21:48,000 --> 00:21:48,573 but a variation in markings 600 00:21:48,640 --> 00:21:50,409 and hailing language. 601 00:21:50,475 --> 00:21:51,977 Debin, hold this position. 602 00:21:52,044 --> 00:21:53,412 Viewer off. 603 00:21:55,447 --> 00:21:56,715 Data, identify. 604 00:21:56,782 --> 00:21:59,718 Sensors indicate it is a security vessel 605 00:21:59,785 --> 00:22:00,000 from the planet Straleb. 606 00:22:00,000 --> 00:22:01,453 from the planet Straleb. 607 00:22:01,520 --> 00:22:04,690 Another glob fly. 608 00:22:04,756 --> 00:22:06,000 Glob fly? 609 00:22:06,000 --> 00:22:06,892 Glob fly? 610 00:22:06,958 --> 00:22:08,760 DATA: A Klingon fly 611 00:22:08,827 --> 00:22:11,096 half the size of an Earth mosquito 612 00:22:11,163 --> 00:22:12,000 with no sting and a buzzing sound like this... 613 00:22:12,000 --> 00:22:13,432 with no sting and a buzzing sound like this... 614 00:22:13,498 --> 00:22:14,599 Data, viewer on. 615 00:22:14,666 --> 00:22:16,501 Hailing frequencies. 616 00:22:16,568 --> 00:22:17,636 Open, sir. 617 00:22:17,703 --> 00:22:18,000 I am Secretary Kushell 618 00:22:18,000 --> 00:22:19,905 I am Secretary Kushell 619 00:22:19,971 --> 00:22:23,542 from the Legation of Unity of the planet Straleb. 620 00:22:23,608 --> 00:22:24,000 I am Captain Jean-Luc Picard. 621 00:22:24,000 --> 00:22:25,577 I am Captain Jean-Luc Picard. 622 00:22:25,644 --> 00:22:27,813 We know who you are, Captain Picard. 623 00:22:27,879 --> 00:22:30,000 We've been monitoring your communications 624 00:22:30,000 --> 00:22:30,615 We've been monitoring your communications 625 00:22:30,682 --> 00:22:32,451 and we know of the demands 626 00:22:32,517 --> 00:22:34,786 made by Debin of the planet Altec. 627 00:22:34,853 --> 00:22:36,000 Then you're aware 628 00:22:36,000 --> 00:22:36,088 Then you're aware 629 00:22:36,154 --> 00:22:38,523 that we have no hostile intention. 630 00:22:38,590 --> 00:22:41,893 You only have to concede to one demand. 631 00:22:41,960 --> 00:22:42,000 That word "demand" has a tone of finality. 632 00:22:42,000 --> 00:22:46,498 That word "demand" has a tone of finality. 633 00:22:46,565 --> 00:22:48,000 It is a word I have chosen. 634 00:22:48,000 --> 00:22:48,700 It is a word I have chosen. 635 00:22:48,767 --> 00:22:53,538 We demand that you turn Okona over to us immediately. 636 00:22:56,675 --> 00:22:57,442 Mute. 637 00:22:57,509 --> 00:23:00,000 Mr. Okona, to the Bridge immediately! 638 00:23:00,000 --> 00:23:00,545 Mr. Okona, to the Bridge immediately! 639 00:23:00,612 --> 00:23:01,713 Open. 640 00:23:02,714 --> 00:23:05,550 The same demand has been made 641 00:23:05,617 --> 00:23:06,000 by the Altec legation. 642 00:23:06,000 --> 00:23:07,385 by the Altec legation. 643 00:23:07,452 --> 00:23:10,055 I have no interest in their request 644 00:23:10,122 --> 00:23:12,000 but we intend to back up our legal rights to Okona. 645 00:23:12,000 --> 00:23:13,759 but we intend to back up our legal rights to Okona. 646 00:23:13,825 --> 00:23:18,000 I would rather not escalate this situation any further. 647 00:23:18,000 --> 00:23:18,430 I would rather not escalate this situation any further. 648 00:23:18,497 --> 00:23:20,732 Our honor and prestige are at stake! 649 00:23:20,799 --> 00:23:22,734 We are prepared to take Okona by force 650 00:23:22,801 --> 00:23:24,000 and die in the doing of it if necessary. 651 00:23:24,000 --> 00:23:25,904 and die in the doing of it if necessary. 652 00:23:25,971 --> 00:23:29,574 I trust that that can be avoided. 653 00:23:29,641 --> 00:23:30,000 I will respond to your request shortly. 654 00:23:30,000 --> 00:23:32,577 I will respond to your request shortly. 655 00:23:32,644 --> 00:23:33,779 Viewer off. 656 00:23:35,113 --> 00:23:36,000 Captain Okona has not responded, sir. 657 00:23:36,000 --> 00:23:38,150 Captain Okona has not responded, sir. 658 00:23:38,216 --> 00:23:39,451 He's been reported 659 00:23:39,518 --> 00:23:41,620 in three different crew quarters. 660 00:23:41,686 --> 00:23:42,000 Find him, get him up here. 661 00:23:42,000 --> 00:23:42,921 Find him, get him up here. 662 00:23:42,988 --> 00:23:44,623 Yes, sir. 663 00:24:08,747 --> 00:24:11,650 You will come with me to the Main Bridge. 664 00:24:11,716 --> 00:24:12,000 I'm sure it can wait a few minutes. 665 00:24:12,000 --> 00:24:14,619 I'm sure it can wait a few minutes. 666 00:24:18,290 --> 00:24:19,724 Now! 667 00:24:29,634 --> 00:24:30,000 I'd like that... 668 00:24:30,000 --> 00:24:32,237 I'd like that... 669 00:24:33,638 --> 00:24:36,000 but I have my orders. 670 00:24:36,000 --> 00:24:37,475 but I have my orders. 671 00:24:37,542 --> 00:24:40,846 Some other time. 672 00:24:43,915 --> 00:24:45,183 Remember what it took 673 00:24:45,250 --> 00:24:47,886 to drag me from your arms. 674 00:25:06,671 --> 00:25:09,107 Am I going to meet Captain Picard? 675 00:25:09,174 --> 00:25:10,208 ( chuckling ) 676 00:25:10,275 --> 00:25:11,743 Definitely. 677 00:25:11,810 --> 00:25:12,000 Did I say something funny? 678 00:25:12,000 --> 00:25:13,945 Did I say something funny? 679 00:25:25,090 --> 00:25:26,958 Captain Picard 680 00:25:27,025 --> 00:25:30,000 this is Thadiun Okona. 681 00:25:30,000 --> 00:25:30,962 this is Thadiun Okona. 682 00:25:33,298 --> 00:25:34,966 Mr. Okona 683 00:25:35,033 --> 00:25:36,000 you were welcomed aboard 684 00:25:36,000 --> 00:25:36,768 you were welcomed aboard 685 00:25:36,835 --> 00:25:38,703 without any undue investigation. 686 00:25:38,770 --> 00:25:40,238 In turn, it was assumed 687 00:25:40,305 --> 00:25:42,000 that you did not come under false pretenses. 688 00:25:42,000 --> 00:25:42,674 that you did not come under false pretenses. 689 00:25:42,741 --> 00:25:44,676 It now seems that you may have done. 690 00:25:44,743 --> 00:25:48,000 Captain, if you mean my socializing with the members 691 00:25:48,000 --> 00:25:48,313 Captain, if you mean my socializing with the members 692 00:25:48,380 --> 00:25:50,548 of the crew... 693 00:25:50,615 --> 00:25:52,284 Mr. Okona 694 00:25:52,350 --> 00:25:54,000 you are free to socialize with the members of my crew. 695 00:25:54,000 --> 00:25:55,553 you are free to socialize with the members of my crew. 696 00:25:55,620 --> 00:25:57,722 I'm talking about a man named Debin. 697 00:25:57,789 --> 00:25:58,623 He's from Altec. 698 00:25:58,690 --> 00:26:00,000 I've had dealings with some of his family. 699 00:26:00,000 --> 00:26:02,160 I've had dealings with some of his family. 700 00:26:02,227 --> 00:26:03,828 Then, perhaps you can explain 701 00:26:03,895 --> 00:26:05,764 why his craft is threatening to attack us 702 00:26:05,830 --> 00:26:06,000 unless I give him custody of you. 703 00:26:06,000 --> 00:26:08,300 unless I give him custody of you. 704 00:26:08,366 --> 00:26:10,802 I can't. 705 00:26:10,869 --> 00:26:12,000 Then, tell me why Kushell of the planet Straleb 706 00:26:12,000 --> 00:26:14,205 Then, tell me why Kushell of the planet Straleb 707 00:26:14,272 --> 00:26:16,675 is demanding the same thing. 708 00:26:16,741 --> 00:26:17,842 He's here also? 709 00:26:17,909 --> 00:26:18,000 Mm-hmm, and quite adamant. 710 00:26:18,000 --> 00:26:22,213 Mm-hmm, and quite adamant. 711 00:26:22,280 --> 00:26:24,000 Mr. Okona, what crimes are you accused of? 712 00:26:24,000 --> 00:26:25,850 Mr. Okona, what crimes are you accused of? 713 00:26:25,917 --> 00:26:29,587 I am not a criminal. 714 00:26:29,654 --> 00:26:30,000 Why do these men want you? 715 00:26:30,000 --> 00:26:31,056 Why do these men want you? 716 00:26:33,925 --> 00:26:35,760 I can't say. 717 00:26:35,827 --> 00:26:36,000 They're threatening to attack the Enterprise. 718 00:26:36,000 --> 00:26:38,263 They're threatening to attack the Enterprise. 719 00:26:38,330 --> 00:26:39,264 They would be crazy. 720 00:26:39,331 --> 00:26:40,332 They wouldn't stand a chance! 721 00:26:40,398 --> 00:26:41,800 Right. 722 00:26:44,235 --> 00:26:47,005 So you can offer no reason 723 00:26:47,072 --> 00:26:48,000 why they are set on this provocative course? 724 00:26:48,000 --> 00:26:51,843 why they are set on this provocative course? 725 00:26:54,946 --> 00:26:57,349 I can't think of one right now. 726 00:26:57,415 --> 00:26:59,184 On viewer. 727 00:26:59,250 --> 00:27:00,000 Which ship? 728 00:27:00,000 --> 00:27:00,885 Which ship? 729 00:27:00,952 --> 00:27:02,187 What? 730 00:27:02,253 --> 00:27:05,657 Uh, the first one-- Captain Debin. 731 00:27:05,724 --> 00:27:06,000 Captain, let me ask you again. 732 00:27:06,000 --> 00:27:08,893 Captain, let me ask you again. 733 00:27:08,960 --> 00:27:11,196 What are Okona's crimes? 734 00:27:11,262 --> 00:27:12,000 That is not your concern. 735 00:27:12,000 --> 00:27:13,031 That is not your concern. 736 00:27:13,098 --> 00:27:16,768 It is if you wish me to release him to you. 737 00:27:16,835 --> 00:27:18,000 All right, you want to know what he did? 738 00:27:18,000 --> 00:27:18,770 All right, you want to know what he did? 739 00:27:18,837 --> 00:27:22,040 You want to know why I have chased him across this system? 740 00:27:22,107 --> 00:27:24,000 All right, here-- this is his crime. 741 00:27:24,000 --> 00:27:24,109 All right, here-- this is his crime. 742 00:27:28,480 --> 00:27:30,000 He dishonored my daughter. 743 00:27:30,000 --> 00:27:30,281 He dishonored my daughter. 744 00:27:30,348 --> 00:27:33,218 He took advantage of her, then he ran off and left her 745 00:27:33,284 --> 00:27:34,753 carrying his bastard child. 746 00:27:34,819 --> 00:27:36,000 He'll return, and he'll do the right thing 747 00:27:36,000 --> 00:27:37,255 He'll return, and he'll do the right thing 748 00:27:37,322 --> 00:27:40,992 or I'll hunt him to the ends of the galaxy. 749 00:27:45,397 --> 00:27:46,631 Captain's log, supplemental. 750 00:27:46,698 --> 00:27:48,000 Some of the mystery surrounding this ancient morality play 751 00:27:48,000 --> 00:27:49,801 Some of the mystery surrounding this ancient morality play 752 00:27:49,868 --> 00:27:52,003 we've been dragged into has been revealed. 753 00:27:52,070 --> 00:27:54,000 One of Captain Okona's pursuers is an outraged father 754 00:27:54,000 --> 00:27:55,407 One of Captain Okona's pursuers is an outraged father 755 00:27:55,473 --> 00:27:59,177 with a heartfelt, if arcane, sense of righteousness. 756 00:27:59,244 --> 00:28:00,000 Your advice, Counselor. 757 00:28:00,000 --> 00:28:01,112 Your advice, Counselor. 758 00:28:01,179 --> 00:28:03,848 We are dealing with ancient codes 759 00:28:03,915 --> 00:28:05,050 involving procreation. 760 00:28:05,116 --> 00:28:06,000 While they may appear meaningless to us 761 00:28:06,000 --> 00:28:08,153 While they may appear meaningless to us 762 00:28:08,219 --> 00:28:10,688 to Debin, they represent his honor. 763 00:28:10,755 --> 00:28:12,000 He will fight, risking himself, his crew 764 00:28:12,000 --> 00:28:13,425 He will fight, risking himself, his crew 765 00:28:13,491 --> 00:28:16,327 his daughter and her unborn child. 766 00:28:16,394 --> 00:28:18,000 You know, Captain, your Counselor's right-- 767 00:28:18,000 --> 00:28:18,196 You know, Captain, your Counselor's right-- 768 00:28:18,263 --> 00:28:19,197 he will fight. 769 00:28:19,264 --> 00:28:20,465 The Captain of the other ship 770 00:28:20,532 --> 00:28:22,267 is demanding to be heard. 771 00:28:22,333 --> 00:28:24,000 I don't suppose you can give me any indication 772 00:28:24,000 --> 00:28:25,370 I don't suppose you can give me any indication 773 00:28:25,437 --> 00:28:27,105 why this man wants you. 774 00:28:27,172 --> 00:28:29,040 ( sighs ) 775 00:28:30,942 --> 00:28:33,278 Let's put all this together. 776 00:28:33,344 --> 00:28:36,000 Lieutenant Worf, multiple image, full conference mode. 777 00:28:36,000 --> 00:28:37,949 Lieutenant Worf, multiple image, full conference mode. 778 00:28:38,016 --> 00:28:40,018 Let them all see each other. 779 00:28:40,085 --> 00:28:41,052 Yes, sir. 780 00:28:41,119 --> 00:28:42,000 Here you are, Debin 781 00:28:42,000 --> 00:28:42,454 Here you are, Debin 782 00:28:42,520 --> 00:28:45,156 trying to save this criminal. 783 00:28:45,223 --> 00:28:47,826 My purpose is not your concern. 784 00:28:47,892 --> 00:28:48,000 It is if it involves Okona. 785 00:28:48,000 --> 00:28:50,161 It is if it involves Okona. 786 00:28:50,228 --> 00:28:51,496 Gentlemen, please. 787 00:28:51,563 --> 00:28:53,798 Let's try and resolve this matter. 788 00:28:53,865 --> 00:28:54,000 Captain Kushell, what crime has Okona 789 00:28:54,000 --> 00:28:56,301 Captain Kushell, what crime has Okona 790 00:28:56,367 --> 00:28:58,503 allegedly committed against you? 791 00:28:58,570 --> 00:28:59,537 He is a thief. 792 00:28:59,604 --> 00:29:00,000 He stole the Jewel of Thesia, a national heritage. 793 00:29:00,000 --> 00:29:04,275 He stole the Jewel of Thesia, a national heritage. 794 00:29:04,342 --> 00:29:05,777 A thing, an item. 795 00:29:05,844 --> 00:29:06,000 My case involves the victimization 796 00:29:06,000 --> 00:29:08,913 My case involves the victimization 797 00:29:08,980 --> 00:29:11,382 of my daughter and my honor. 798 00:29:11,449 --> 00:29:12,000 I'll have Okona now! 799 00:29:12,000 --> 00:29:13,184 I'll have Okona now! 800 00:29:13,251 --> 00:29:14,452 He is mine! 801 00:29:14,519 --> 00:29:15,787 One at a time. 802 00:29:15,854 --> 00:29:17,856 Who accuses me of stealing? 803 00:29:17,922 --> 00:29:18,000 I do. 804 00:29:18,000 --> 00:29:19,023 I do. 805 00:29:19,090 --> 00:29:20,024 My son, Benzan and I. 806 00:29:20,091 --> 00:29:21,226 Father, please... 807 00:29:21,292 --> 00:29:23,428 He used you to become my friend. 808 00:29:23,495 --> 00:29:24,000 He used my daughter! 809 00:29:24,000 --> 00:29:24,863 He used my daughter! 810 00:29:24,929 --> 00:29:28,099 He used my son to plunder a national treasure! 811 00:29:28,166 --> 00:29:29,767 Mute. 812 00:29:29,834 --> 00:29:30,000 ( no audio ) 813 00:29:30,000 --> 00:29:33,037 ( no audio ) 814 00:29:41,613 --> 00:29:42,000 Terminate communications. 815 00:29:42,000 --> 00:29:43,548 Terminate communications. 816 00:29:43,615 --> 00:29:45,150 Come with me. 817 00:29:49,621 --> 00:29:51,890 Captain, you can't be afraid of those two 818 00:29:51,956 --> 00:29:53,791 or what they can do to your ship. 819 00:29:53,858 --> 00:29:54,000 No. 820 00:29:54,000 --> 00:29:54,826 No. 821 00:29:54,893 --> 00:29:57,295 They could fire until their lasers ran dry 822 00:29:57,362 --> 00:29:59,197 they wouldn't hurt the Enterprise. 823 00:29:59,264 --> 00:30:00,000 My predicament is what to do with you. 824 00:30:00,000 --> 00:30:01,366 My predicament is what to do with you. 825 00:30:01,432 --> 00:30:02,367 I'm sorry. 826 00:30:02,433 --> 00:30:03,401 I'm sorry my ship broke down. 827 00:30:03,468 --> 00:30:04,536 I'm sorry you stopped to help. 828 00:30:04,602 --> 00:30:05,803 I'm sorry you're involved. 829 00:30:05,870 --> 00:30:06,000 But you're right. 830 00:30:06,000 --> 00:30:06,971 But you're right. 831 00:30:07,038 --> 00:30:09,807 Whatever happens, however it goes, someone gets hurt. 832 00:30:09,874 --> 00:30:12,000 Hand me over to Kushell and Debin goes to war. 833 00:30:12,000 --> 00:30:12,043 Hand me over to Kushell and Debin goes to war. 834 00:30:12,110 --> 00:30:14,812 And if I hand you over to Debin, it's the same thing. 835 00:30:14,879 --> 00:30:17,315 I wish I could... 836 00:30:20,418 --> 00:30:23,254 I wish I could make it easier. 837 00:30:23,321 --> 00:30:24,000 I'm sure you do. 838 00:30:24,000 --> 00:30:24,856 I'm sure you do. 839 00:30:26,624 --> 00:30:29,360 I'm not going to apologize for the way I am 840 00:30:29,427 --> 00:30:30,000 or how I live my life 841 00:30:30,000 --> 00:30:30,562 or how I live my life 842 00:30:30,628 --> 00:30:33,464 but, just for the record, I did not steal 843 00:30:33,531 --> 00:30:35,099 the Jewel of Thesia. 844 00:30:35,166 --> 00:30:36,000 I am not a criminal, Captain. 845 00:30:36,000 --> 00:30:37,101 I am not a criminal, Captain. 846 00:30:37,168 --> 00:30:42,000 And, as to the other business, that's between me and Yanar. 847 00:30:42,000 --> 00:30:42,207 And, as to the other business, that's between me and Yanar. 848 00:30:42,273 --> 00:30:43,875 No one else. 849 00:30:43,942 --> 00:30:48,000 In truth, I simply do not have authority in this matter. 850 00:30:48,000 --> 00:30:48,313 In truth, I simply do not have authority in this matter. 851 00:30:48,379 --> 00:30:52,517 I'm not your judge, nor is it my duty to arbitrate. 852 00:30:52,584 --> 00:30:54,000 But you are in my custody and that creates the dilemma. 853 00:30:54,000 --> 00:30:56,888 But you are in my custody and that creates the dilemma. 854 00:30:56,955 --> 00:30:58,289 How about this? 855 00:30:58,356 --> 00:30:59,958 Do what you said. 856 00:31:00,024 --> 00:31:03,962 Fix my guidance system and let me leave. 857 00:31:04,028 --> 00:31:06,000 According to Starfleet regulations 858 00:31:06,000 --> 00:31:06,431 According to Starfleet regulations 859 00:31:06,497 --> 00:31:09,267 that would be my only course of action. 860 00:31:09,334 --> 00:31:12,000 But their ships are faster than yours. 861 00:31:12,000 --> 00:31:12,036 But their ships are faster than yours. 862 00:31:12,103 --> 00:31:14,005 I'm not doing you a favor. 863 00:31:14,072 --> 00:31:18,000 Captain, with all due respect, that's not your concern. 864 00:31:18,000 --> 00:31:18,243 Captain, with all due respect, that's not your concern. 865 00:31:18,309 --> 00:31:21,079 Besides, I can take care of myself. 866 00:31:32,991 --> 00:31:34,926 You're quite a craftsman 867 00:31:34,993 --> 00:31:36,000 Lieutenant La Forge. 868 00:31:36,000 --> 00:31:36,594 Lieutenant La Forge. 869 00:31:36,661 --> 00:31:37,595 How soon? 870 00:31:37,662 --> 00:31:38,930 What's the rush? 871 00:31:38,997 --> 00:31:41,199 I thought you liked it here. 872 00:31:41,266 --> 00:31:42,000 I did. 873 00:31:42,000 --> 00:31:42,533 I did. 874 00:31:42,600 --> 00:31:44,302 It stopped liking me. 875 00:31:44,369 --> 00:31:45,670 Time to disappear. 876 00:31:45,737 --> 00:31:47,538 Where will you go? 877 00:31:47,605 --> 00:31:48,000 What? 878 00:31:48,000 --> 00:31:48,673 What? 879 00:31:48,740 --> 00:31:51,242 I said, where will you go? 880 00:31:51,309 --> 00:31:53,945 A new place, if I make it. 881 00:31:54,012 --> 00:31:56,147 Don't you ever stay anywhere? 882 00:31:56,214 --> 00:31:58,950 Not for long. 883 00:31:59,017 --> 00:32:00,000 I couldn't be like that. 884 00:32:00,000 --> 00:32:01,319 I couldn't be like that. 885 00:32:01,386 --> 00:32:02,620 Oh? 886 00:32:02,687 --> 00:32:05,390 I mean, always being alone. 887 00:32:05,456 --> 00:32:06,000 Commander Riker says you choose to live 888 00:32:06,000 --> 00:32:07,925 Commander Riker says you choose to live 889 00:32:07,992 --> 00:32:09,427 the way you do, and like it. 890 00:32:09,494 --> 00:32:10,662 Is that what he says? 891 00:32:10,728 --> 00:32:12,000 Yeah. 892 00:32:12,000 --> 00:32:12,430 Yeah. 893 00:32:12,497 --> 00:32:17,101 It would be difficult for me to be leaving all the time. 894 00:32:17,168 --> 00:32:18,000 I'd miss my friends, the people I love. 895 00:32:18,000 --> 00:32:21,239 I'd miss my friends, the people I love. 896 00:32:21,306 --> 00:32:24,000 I guess leaving's gotten easy for you. 897 00:32:24,000 --> 00:32:25,310 I guess leaving's gotten easy for you. 898 00:32:25,376 --> 00:32:29,714 I seem to have a way of using up a place. 899 00:32:29,781 --> 00:32:30,000 I wasn't talking about a place. 900 00:32:30,000 --> 00:32:32,950 I wasn't talking about a place. 901 00:32:33,017 --> 00:32:34,252 I know. 902 00:32:34,319 --> 00:32:36,000 I know what you were talking about. 903 00:32:36,000 --> 00:32:37,588 I know what you were talking about. 904 00:32:37,655 --> 00:32:39,724 LA FORGE: It's ready. 905 00:32:39,791 --> 00:32:42,000 You should be able to install this 906 00:32:42,000 --> 00:32:43,361 You should be able to install this 907 00:32:43,428 --> 00:32:45,663 in roughly five minutes. 908 00:32:45,730 --> 00:32:47,532 ( sighs ) 909 00:32:47,598 --> 00:32:48,000 Like you said, Geordi, what's the rush? 910 00:32:48,000 --> 00:32:50,735 Like you said, Geordi, what's the rush? 911 00:32:50,802 --> 00:32:53,371 I have some friends around here. 912 00:32:53,438 --> 00:32:54,000 I think it's time to make a stand. 913 00:32:54,000 --> 00:32:56,274 I think it's time to make a stand. 914 00:33:13,424 --> 00:33:15,493 Mr. Okona. 915 00:33:18,196 --> 00:33:21,566 Captain, I've decided not to leave. 916 00:33:21,632 --> 00:33:22,400 Oh? 917 00:33:22,467 --> 00:33:24,000 Don't worry, I'm not staying, either. 918 00:33:24,000 --> 00:33:25,470 Don't worry, I'm not staying, either. 919 00:33:25,536 --> 00:33:26,771 Just what are your plans, Mr. Okona? 920 00:33:26,838 --> 00:33:29,006 I've decided to surrender myself. 921 00:33:29,073 --> 00:33:30,000 To which one? 922 00:33:30,000 --> 00:33:30,708 To which one? 923 00:33:30,775 --> 00:33:33,344 ( chuckling ): There's really only one option. 924 00:33:35,213 --> 00:33:36,000 Viewer on. 925 00:33:36,000 --> 00:33:37,248 Viewer on. 926 00:33:41,586 --> 00:33:42,000 Gentlemen. 927 00:33:42,000 --> 00:33:43,054 Gentlemen. 928 00:33:43,121 --> 00:33:45,656 Communicating like this 929 00:33:45,723 --> 00:33:46,791 is very distracting. 930 00:33:46,858 --> 00:33:48,000 I suggest that we beam you up to the Enterprise 931 00:33:48,000 --> 00:33:49,060 I suggest that we beam you up to the Enterprise 932 00:33:49,127 --> 00:33:51,429 and we'll resolve this face-to-face. 933 00:33:51,496 --> 00:33:53,097 Excellent. 934 00:33:53,164 --> 00:33:53,898 Agreed. 935 00:33:53,965 --> 00:33:54,000 RIKER: Leave your weapons behind. 936 00:33:54,000 --> 00:33:56,534 RIKER: Leave your weapons behind. 937 00:33:56,601 --> 00:33:58,469 Let's keep this civilized. 938 00:33:58,536 --> 00:34:00,000 Number One, you have the Bridge. 939 00:34:00,000 --> 00:34:00,638 Number One, you have the Bridge. 940 00:34:00,705 --> 00:34:03,307 Counselor Troi, would you accompany me 941 00:34:03,374 --> 00:34:05,309 to Deck 14 Conference Room? 942 00:34:05,376 --> 00:34:06,000 Worf, see to our guests. 943 00:34:06,000 --> 00:34:07,111 Worf, see to our guests. 944 00:34:07,178 --> 00:34:08,179 Aye, sir. 945 00:34:21,192 --> 00:34:23,594 They have no weapons. 946 00:34:23,661 --> 00:34:24,000 This way. 947 00:34:24,000 --> 00:34:24,796 This way. 948 00:34:40,878 --> 00:34:42,000 Okona, you are without shame. 949 00:34:42,000 --> 00:34:43,314 Okona, you are without shame. 950 00:34:43,381 --> 00:34:45,716 For once, I agree with Debin. 951 00:34:45,783 --> 00:34:47,718 You are without shame. 952 00:34:47,785 --> 00:34:48,000 I trusted you. 953 00:34:48,000 --> 00:34:48,719 I trusted you. 954 00:34:48,786 --> 00:34:51,756 My son treated you like a brother. 955 00:34:51,823 --> 00:34:54,000 And then to steal from us... 956 00:34:54,000 --> 00:34:54,525 And then to steal from us... 957 00:34:54,592 --> 00:34:56,093 I want him now. 958 00:34:56,160 --> 00:34:58,096 No, he's coming with me. 959 00:34:58,162 --> 00:35:00,000 Captain, my complaint was registered first. 960 00:35:00,000 --> 00:35:01,699 Captain, my complaint was registered first. 961 00:35:01,766 --> 00:35:02,700 Now, please. 962 00:35:02,767 --> 00:35:03,701 Please be calm. 963 00:35:03,768 --> 00:35:06,000 Lieutenant, thank you. 964 00:35:06,000 --> 00:35:07,171 Lieutenant, thank you. 965 00:35:09,941 --> 00:35:12,000 Everyone is talking about me 966 00:35:12,000 --> 00:35:12,343 Everyone is talking about me 967 00:35:12,410 --> 00:35:13,711 and no one's talking 968 00:35:13,778 --> 00:35:15,179 to me. 969 00:35:15,246 --> 00:35:17,548 You all believe 970 00:35:17,615 --> 00:35:18,000 that I stole the jewel 971 00:35:18,000 --> 00:35:18,850 that I stole the jewel 972 00:35:18,916 --> 00:35:22,153 and it was I who fathered the child. 973 00:35:22,220 --> 00:35:24,000 You dare call my daughter a liar? 974 00:35:24,000 --> 00:35:25,690 You dare call my daughter a liar? 975 00:35:25,756 --> 00:35:27,358 And now, I am offered 976 00:35:27,425 --> 00:35:29,727 these two choices 977 00:35:29,794 --> 00:35:30,000 and given these two options-- 978 00:35:30,000 --> 00:35:32,263 and given these two options-- 979 00:35:32,330 --> 00:35:34,765 condemnation as a thief 980 00:35:34,832 --> 00:35:36,000 or marriage to the beautiful Yanar. 981 00:35:36,000 --> 00:35:38,369 or marriage to the beautiful Yanar. 982 00:35:38,436 --> 00:35:42,000 I will take the more pleasant sentence. 983 00:35:42,000 --> 00:35:42,773 I will take the more pleasant sentence. 984 00:35:42,840 --> 00:35:44,775 I will take Yanar 985 00:35:44,842 --> 00:35:46,878 as my wife. 986 00:35:46,944 --> 00:35:48,000 No, you can't. 987 00:35:48,000 --> 00:35:48,179 No, you can't. 988 00:35:48,246 --> 00:35:49,180 My son is right! 989 00:35:49,247 --> 00:35:50,648 You can't escape that way. 990 00:35:50,715 --> 00:35:51,816 That's not what I mean. 991 00:35:51,883 --> 00:35:54,000 It's not up to you nor to Okona. 992 00:35:54,000 --> 00:35:54,585 It's not up to you nor to Okona. 993 00:35:54,652 --> 00:35:56,354 I've been dishonored. 994 00:35:56,420 --> 00:35:57,522 I will decide. 995 00:35:57,588 --> 00:35:58,723 YANAR: Wait. 996 00:35:58,789 --> 00:36:00,000 Since all of you believe 997 00:36:00,000 --> 00:36:00,791 Since all of you believe 998 00:36:00,858 --> 00:36:03,361 Okona is the father of this child 999 00:36:03,427 --> 00:36:05,596 then so be it. 1000 00:36:06,964 --> 00:36:09,233 I'll marry you. 1001 00:36:09,300 --> 00:36:10,568 BENZAN: No. 1002 00:36:10,635 --> 00:36:11,702 You can't. 1003 00:36:11,769 --> 00:36:12,000 Yes, I can. 1004 00:36:12,000 --> 00:36:13,771 Yes, I can. 1005 00:36:13,838 --> 00:36:15,773 Okona is still a thief. 1006 00:36:15,840 --> 00:36:17,842 No, he's not. 1007 00:36:17,909 --> 00:36:18,000 Nothing has been stolen. 1008 00:36:18,000 --> 00:36:20,278 Nothing has been stolen. 1009 00:36:20,344 --> 00:36:23,714 The Jewel of Thesia has been taken into custody 1010 00:36:23,781 --> 00:36:24,000 by it's rightful heir, me. 1011 00:36:24,000 --> 00:36:26,217 by it's rightful heir, me. 1012 00:36:26,284 --> 00:36:30,000 I was to give it to Yanar as our pledge of marriage. 1013 00:36:30,000 --> 00:36:30,922 I was to give it to Yanar as our pledge of marriage. 1014 00:36:30,988 --> 00:36:33,190 Marriage? 1015 00:36:34,926 --> 00:36:36,000 Yanar is carrying my child. 1016 00:36:36,000 --> 00:36:38,296 Yanar is carrying my child. 1017 00:36:38,362 --> 00:36:42,000 Oh, you said it was Okona's. 1018 00:36:42,000 --> 00:36:42,400 Oh, you said it was Okona's. 1019 00:36:44,435 --> 00:36:45,803 If I told you it was Benzan 1020 00:36:45,870 --> 00:36:47,905 you would have gone to war with his father. 1021 00:36:47,972 --> 00:36:48,000 So I let you believe it was Okona. 1022 00:36:48,000 --> 00:36:50,775 So I let you believe it was Okona. 1023 00:36:50,841 --> 00:36:52,743 See how a man gets a reputation? 1024 00:36:52,810 --> 00:36:53,811 If I had told you 1025 00:36:53,878 --> 00:36:54,000 that I was giving the jewel to Debin's daughter 1026 00:36:54,000 --> 00:36:56,714 that I was giving the jewel to Debin's daughter 1027 00:36:56,781 --> 00:36:58,282 you would have disowned me. 1028 00:36:58,349 --> 00:37:00,000 Now we're hearing some truth. 1029 00:37:00,000 --> 00:37:00,651 Now we're hearing some truth. 1030 00:37:00,718 --> 00:37:02,820 KUSHELL: So, you let me chase Okona 1031 00:37:02,887 --> 00:37:05,556 when you knew he was innocent. 1032 00:37:05,623 --> 00:37:06,000 Yes, because I didn't believe for one moment 1033 00:37:06,000 --> 00:37:08,225 Yes, because I didn't believe for one moment 1034 00:37:08,292 --> 00:37:09,827 that you could catch him. 1035 00:37:09,894 --> 00:37:11,696 Well said. He never would have. 1036 00:37:11,762 --> 00:37:12,000 And once Yanar accepted the jewel 1037 00:37:12,000 --> 00:37:14,498 And once Yanar accepted the jewel 1038 00:37:14,565 --> 00:37:16,901 the marriage would have been made. 1039 00:37:16,968 --> 00:37:18,000 Well, I never got it. 1040 00:37:18,000 --> 00:37:18,302 Well, I never got it. 1041 00:37:18,369 --> 00:37:20,738 Then Okona does have the jewel. 1042 00:37:20,805 --> 00:37:24,000 I never had the chance to deliver it. 1043 00:37:24,000 --> 00:37:25,509 I never had the chance to deliver it. 1044 00:37:25,576 --> 00:37:26,677 Anyway, it's too late. 1045 00:37:26,744 --> 00:37:28,446 I won't marry Benzan. 1046 00:37:28,512 --> 00:37:30,000 Then you'll marry Okona. 1047 00:37:30,000 --> 00:37:30,548 Then you'll marry Okona. 1048 00:37:30,615 --> 00:37:33,618 I won't marry anyone. 1049 00:37:37,588 --> 00:37:40,391 I have reinstated the same program. 1050 00:37:40,458 --> 00:37:42,000 Along with some new jokes, I hope. 1051 00:37:42,000 --> 00:37:42,860 Along with some new jokes, I hope. 1052 00:37:42,927 --> 00:37:45,930 COMPUTER: Program complete. Enter when ready. 1053 00:37:57,008 --> 00:37:58,809 Comic, continue. 1054 00:37:58,876 --> 00:38:00,000 More freebies, huh? 1055 00:38:00,000 --> 00:38:00,411 More freebies, huh? 1056 00:38:00,478 --> 00:38:01,779 No cover, no minimum? 1057 00:38:01,846 --> 00:38:03,581 Just "comic, continue"? 1058 00:38:03,648 --> 00:38:05,883 So tell me, Data, what happened? 1059 00:38:05,950 --> 00:38:06,000 I told a joke. 1060 00:38:06,000 --> 00:38:07,652 I told a joke. 1061 00:38:07,718 --> 00:38:08,653 And? 1062 00:38:08,719 --> 00:38:09,654 No one laughed. 1063 00:38:09,720 --> 00:38:10,688 No one? 1064 00:38:10,755 --> 00:38:11,689 Nobody in the whole room? 1065 00:38:11,756 --> 00:38:12,000 I was the whole room. 1066 00:38:12,000 --> 00:38:12,890 I was the whole room. 1067 00:38:12,957 --> 00:38:13,891 She said I spoiled the joke. 1068 00:38:13,958 --> 00:38:15,893 Actually, "killed" would have been a better word. 1069 00:38:15,960 --> 00:38:17,895 You know, Data, I think I know what your problem is. 1070 00:38:17,962 --> 00:38:18,000 You should always try out 1071 00:38:18,000 --> 00:38:19,563 You should always try out 1072 00:38:19,630 --> 00:38:21,799 new material on an audience. 1073 00:38:21,866 --> 00:38:22,967 You know, he could be right. 1074 00:38:23,034 --> 00:38:24,000 Perhaps an audience is what you need. 1075 00:38:24,000 --> 00:38:26,003 Perhaps an audience is what you need. 1076 00:38:27,972 --> 00:38:30,000 Computer, program an audience appropriate to this venue. 1077 00:38:30,000 --> 00:38:33,944 Computer, program an audience appropriate to this venue. 1078 00:38:34,011 --> 00:38:36,000 ( buzz of conversation ) 1079 00:38:36,000 --> 00:38:37,948 ( buzz of conversation ) 1080 00:38:39,050 --> 00:38:39,917 Yanar. 1081 00:38:44,922 --> 00:38:48,000 You're angry at the embarrassment of all this 1082 00:38:48,000 --> 00:38:48,392 You're angry at the embarrassment of all this 1083 00:38:48,459 --> 00:38:50,928 and maybe the timing and the approach 1084 00:38:50,995 --> 00:38:53,497 is not the most romantic, but... 1085 00:38:53,564 --> 00:38:54,000 I know you love Benzan 1086 00:38:54,000 --> 00:38:57,101 I know you love Benzan 1087 00:38:57,168 --> 00:39:00,000 and I don't want to see you throw away that feeling 1088 00:39:00,000 --> 00:39:00,071 and I don't want to see you throw away that feeling 1089 00:39:00,137 --> 00:39:03,574 just because your parents have been quarreling for years 1090 00:39:03,641 --> 00:39:05,843 and don't know how to behave properly. 1091 00:39:08,846 --> 00:39:10,948 I've carried your messages back and forth 1092 00:39:11,015 --> 00:39:12,000 for almost six months. 1093 00:39:12,000 --> 00:39:12,483 for almost six months. 1094 00:39:12,550 --> 00:39:15,920 I've smuggled each of you into the other's homeland. 1095 00:39:15,986 --> 00:39:18,000 You feel for him the same way he feels for you. 1096 00:39:18,000 --> 00:39:19,523 You feel for him the same way he feels for you. 1097 00:39:35,106 --> 00:39:36,000 I do love you. 1098 00:39:36,000 --> 00:39:38,776 I do love you. 1099 00:39:38,843 --> 00:39:41,712 It is your child. 1100 00:39:41,779 --> 00:39:42,000 It's our child. 1101 00:39:42,000 --> 00:39:44,615 It's our child. 1102 00:39:47,551 --> 00:39:48,000 Marry me. 1103 00:39:48,000 --> 00:39:50,421 Marry me. 1104 00:39:50,488 --> 00:39:52,957 Yes. 1105 00:39:53,023 --> 00:39:54,000 ( whistles ) 1106 00:39:54,000 --> 00:39:54,425 ( whistles ) 1107 00:40:04,502 --> 00:40:06,000 We'll find a new planet to live on. 1108 00:40:06,000 --> 00:40:07,571 We'll find a new planet to live on. 1109 00:40:07,638 --> 00:40:08,439 ( laughing ) 1110 00:40:08,506 --> 00:40:10,608 You'll live on Straleb. 1111 00:40:10,674 --> 00:40:11,842 No, no, no, no. 1112 00:40:11,909 --> 00:40:12,000 You'll live on Altec. 1113 00:40:12,000 --> 00:40:13,611 You'll live on Altec. 1114 00:40:13,677 --> 00:40:16,514 KUSHELL: I will not have 1115 00:40:16,580 --> 00:40:18,000 this man raising my grandson. 1116 00:40:18,000 --> 00:40:18,048 this man raising my grandson. 1117 00:40:18,115 --> 00:40:20,151 The rest of this is an issue, gentlemen 1118 00:40:20,217 --> 00:40:21,952 to be settled between yourselves. 1119 00:40:22,019 --> 00:40:24,000 Now, if you will excuse us, we have business. 1120 00:40:24,000 --> 00:40:24,588 Now, if you will excuse us, we have business. 1121 00:40:24,655 --> 00:40:25,456 Thank you, Captain. 1122 00:40:25,523 --> 00:40:27,057 Your grandson? 1123 00:40:27,124 --> 00:40:29,493 KUSHELL: My grandson. 1124 00:40:30,494 --> 00:40:32,463 ( drumroll ) 1125 00:40:32,530 --> 00:40:33,731 Thank you, thank you. 1126 00:40:33,798 --> 00:40:35,466 Thanks for coming, folks. 1127 00:40:35,533 --> 00:40:36,000 We got a great show for you tonight. 1128 00:40:36,000 --> 00:40:37,935 We got a great show for you tonight. 1129 00:40:38,002 --> 00:40:39,904 I'm so excited this evening. 1130 00:40:39,970 --> 00:40:42,000 Tonight, I have for you the funny man of the stars. 1131 00:40:42,000 --> 00:40:44,441 Tonight, I have for you the funny man of the stars. 1132 00:40:44,508 --> 00:40:46,210 The android of antics. 1133 00:40:46,277 --> 00:40:48,000 That Lieutenant Commander of mirth. 1134 00:40:48,000 --> 00:40:49,446 That Lieutenant Commander of mirth. 1135 00:40:49,513 --> 00:40:51,582 Please, give him a nice welcome, ladies and gentlemen. 1136 00:40:51,649 --> 00:40:53,117 None other than-- he's just the best-- 1137 00:40:53,184 --> 00:40:54,000 Data. 1138 00:40:54,000 --> 00:40:54,118 Data. 1139 00:40:54,185 --> 00:40:55,186 ( cheering ) 1140 00:41:04,995 --> 00:41:06,000 Good evening, ladies and germs. 1141 00:41:06,000 --> 00:41:06,497 Good evening, ladies and germs. 1142 00:41:06,564 --> 00:41:07,565 ( laughter ) 1143 00:41:14,939 --> 00:41:16,674 ( drumroll ) 1144 00:41:19,243 --> 00:41:21,912 I come from a town so small 1145 00:41:21,979 --> 00:41:24,000 we had a fraction for a zip code. 1146 00:41:24,000 --> 00:41:25,182 we had a fraction for a zip code. 1147 00:41:25,249 --> 00:41:26,617 ( laughter ) 1148 00:41:26,684 --> 00:41:28,819 You made a living doing this? 1149 00:41:28,886 --> 00:41:29,954 Yes, I did. 1150 00:41:30,020 --> 00:41:31,222 It was so small, in fact 1151 00:41:31,288 --> 00:41:34,091 we didn't have a godfather of crime. 1152 00:41:34,158 --> 00:41:35,659 We had a nephew. 1153 00:41:35,726 --> 00:41:36,000 ( laughter ) 1154 00:41:36,000 --> 00:41:36,861 ( laughter ) 1155 00:41:39,196 --> 00:41:41,599 ( laughter ) 1156 00:41:46,670 --> 00:41:48,000 I was so ugly as a child 1157 00:41:48,000 --> 00:41:48,739 I was so ugly as a child 1158 00:41:48,806 --> 00:41:52,209 they hung a pork chop around my neck... 1159 00:41:52,276 --> 00:41:53,277 ( laughter ) 1160 00:41:55,679 --> 00:41:59,617 so the dog would play with me. 1161 00:41:59,683 --> 00:42:00,000 ( laughter ) 1162 00:42:00,000 --> 00:42:00,684 ( laughter ) 1163 00:42:04,688 --> 00:42:06,000 And then there was the human cannonball... 1164 00:42:06,000 --> 00:42:06,657 And then there was the human cannonball... 1165 00:42:06,724 --> 00:42:07,825 ( laughter ) 1166 00:42:07,892 --> 00:42:09,827 that was hired and fired in the same night. 1167 00:42:12,730 --> 00:42:14,598 ( laughter ) 1168 00:42:15,933 --> 00:42:18,000 ( laughter ) 1169 00:42:18,000 --> 00:42:18,636 ( laughter ) 1170 00:42:18,702 --> 00:42:20,237 Audience program off. 1171 00:42:20,304 --> 00:42:21,538 ( laughter ) 1172 00:42:31,348 --> 00:42:33,951 Discontinue comic. 1173 00:42:42,693 --> 00:42:44,628 It was a holodeck audience. 1174 00:42:44,695 --> 00:42:47,731 They were programmed to laugh at everything. 1175 00:42:47,798 --> 00:42:48,000 Perhaps I should reprogram the audience 1176 00:42:48,000 --> 00:42:50,668 Perhaps I should reprogram the audience 1177 00:42:50,734 --> 00:42:53,604 to display a more accurate response. 1178 00:42:53,671 --> 00:42:54,000 Data, let me give you one. 1179 00:42:54,000 --> 00:42:55,706 Data, let me give you one. 1180 00:42:55,773 --> 00:43:00,000 Being able to make people laugh or being able to laugh 1181 00:43:00,000 --> 00:43:00,611 Being able to make people laugh or being able to laugh 1182 00:43:00,678 --> 00:43:04,615 is not the end-all and be-all of being human. 1183 00:43:04,682 --> 00:43:06,000 No, but there is nothing more uniquely human. 1184 00:43:06,000 --> 00:43:08,686 No, but there is nothing more uniquely human. 1185 00:43:23,367 --> 00:43:24,000 Hold your speed, Captain Okona. 1186 00:43:24,000 --> 00:43:24,635 Hold your speed, Captain Okona. 1187 00:43:24,702 --> 00:43:27,137 Disengage. 1188 00:43:27,204 --> 00:43:29,006 Separated. 1189 00:43:29,073 --> 00:43:30,000 I'm under my own power, now. 1190 00:43:30,000 --> 00:43:30,674 I'm under my own power, now. 1191 00:43:30,741 --> 00:43:32,309 Thank you, Enterprise. 1192 00:43:32,376 --> 00:43:34,278 Thank you, Captain Picard. 1193 00:43:34,345 --> 00:43:35,980 Good-bye, Captain Okona. 1194 00:43:36,046 --> 00:43:38,215 Bye, Captain Okona. 1195 00:43:40,050 --> 00:43:42,000 Say good-bye, Data. 1196 00:43:42,000 --> 00:43:42,052 Say good-bye, Data. 1197 00:43:42,119 --> 00:43:44,121 Good-bye, Data. 1198 00:43:44,188 --> 00:43:46,190 ( chuckling ) 1199 00:43:46,256 --> 00:43:48,000 Was that funny? 1200 00:43:48,000 --> 00:43:48,726 Was that funny? 1201 00:43:50,394 --> 00:43:53,330 Accessing. 1202 00:43:53,397 --> 00:43:54,000 Ah, Burns and Allen. 1203 00:43:54,000 --> 00:43:54,898 Ah, Burns and Allen. 1204 00:43:54,965 --> 00:43:57,634 Roxy Theater, New York City, 1932. 1205 00:43:57,701 --> 00:43:58,836 It still works. 1206 00:43:58,902 --> 00:44:00,000 Then there was the one 1207 00:44:00,000 --> 00:44:00,771 Then there was the one 1208 00:44:00,838 --> 00:44:03,307 about the girl in the nudist colony 1209 00:44:03,374 --> 00:44:05,743 that nothing looked good on. 1210 00:44:05,809 --> 00:44:06,000 We're ready to get underway, sir. 1211 00:44:06,000 --> 00:44:07,745 We're ready to get underway, sir. 1212 00:44:07,811 --> 00:44:10,647 Take my Worf... please. 1213 00:44:10,714 --> 00:44:12,000 Warp speed, sir? 1214 00:44:12,000 --> 00:44:12,416 Warp speed, sir? 1215 00:44:12,483 --> 00:44:14,651 Please.