1 00:04:19,926 --> 00:04:22,588 What are you gonna do today, Napoleon? 2 00:04:22,695 --> 00:04:25,129 Whatever I feel like I want to do. Gosh! 3 00:05:20,753 --> 00:05:22,983 Your current event, Napoleon. 4 00:05:36,536 --> 00:05:39,733 Last week, Japanese scientists "explaced"... 5 00:05:39,839 --> 00:05:43,434 placed explosive detonators at the bottom of Lake Loch Ness... 6 00:05:43,543 --> 00:05:45,568 to blow Nessie out of the water. 7 00:05:51,818 --> 00:05:54,719 Sir Curt Godfrey of the Nessie Alliance... 8 00:05:54,821 --> 00:05:57,221 summoned the help of Scotland's local wizards... 9 00:05:57,323 --> 00:06:01,817 to cast a protective spell over the lake and its local residents... 10 00:06:01,928 --> 00:06:07,025 and all those who seek for the peaceful existence of our underwater ally. 11 00:06:24,784 --> 00:06:26,752 Yes. Yes. 12 00:06:26,853 --> 00:06:28,821 Yes. Yes. 13 00:06:31,758 --> 00:06:34,318 Hey, Napoleon, what'd you do all last summer again? 14 00:06:34,427 --> 00:06:38,261 I told you. I spent it with my uncle in Alaska hunting wolverines. 15 00:06:38,364 --> 00:06:41,458 - Did you shoot any? - Yes, like 50 of'em. 16 00:06:41,567 --> 00:06:45,503 They kept tryin'to attack my cousins. What the heck would you do in a situation like that? 17 00:06:45,605 --> 00:06:50,406 - What kind of gun did you use? - A frickin' 12-gauge. What do you think? 18 00:06:50,510 --> 00:06:53,035 You think you're funny? Just watch your step. 19 00:06:53,146 --> 00:06:55,444 But I didn't... 20 00:07:01,921 --> 00:07:05,118 Hey, could I use your guys's phone for a sec? 21 00:07:05,224 --> 00:07:08,557 - Is there anything wrong? - I don't feel very good. 22 00:07:32,051 --> 00:07:34,952 - Hi. - Is Grandma there? 23 00:07:35,054 --> 00:07:37,318 No, she's getting her hair done. 24 00:07:41,694 --> 00:07:44,219 - What do you need? - Can you just go get her for me? 25 00:07:44,330 --> 00:07:47,663 - I'm really busy right now. - Well, just tell her to come get me. 26 00:07:47,767 --> 00:07:50,736 - Why? - 'Cause I don't feel good. 27 00:07:50,837 --> 00:07:54,534 - Well, have you talked to the school nurse? - No, she doesn't know anything. 28 00:07:54,640 --> 00:07:57,666 - Will you just come get me? - No. 29 00:07:57,777 --> 00:07:59,711 Well, will you do me a favor then? 30 00:07:59,812 --> 00:08:02,576 - What? - Can you bring me my ChapStick? 31 00:08:02,682 --> 00:08:05,242 - No, Napoleon. - But my lips hurt real bad. 32 00:08:05,351 --> 00:08:09,082 Just borrow some from the school nurse. I know she has, like, five sticks in her drawer. 33 00:08:09,188 --> 00:08:11,679 I'm not gonna use hers, you sicko. 34 00:08:11,791 --> 00:08:13,691 See ya. 35 00:08:13,793 --> 00:08:16,728 Idiot! 36 00:08:18,231 --> 00:08:21,159 David Dempke, please come to the offiice. 37 00:08:21,267 --> 00:08:24,100 - David Dempke. - You do understand English? 38 00:08:24,203 --> 00:08:27,866 This isn't that complex. Look, the cafeteria's down the hall... 39 00:08:27,974 --> 00:08:29,965 to the right and downstairs. 40 00:08:31,410 --> 00:08:33,435 Hey, is that a new kid or something? 41 00:08:33,546 --> 00:08:35,446 Napoleon, this is Pedro. 42 00:08:35,548 --> 00:08:37,709 Would you mind showing him where his locker is? 43 00:08:37,817 --> 00:08:39,751 Sure. Come on. 44 00:08:44,423 --> 00:08:48,018 You know, there's, like, a buttload of gangs at this school. 45 00:08:48,127 --> 00:08:52,120 This one gang kept wanting me to join 'cause I'm pretty good with a bow staff. 46 00:08:55,301 --> 00:08:57,235 Do you ride the bus to school? 47 00:08:57,336 --> 00:08:59,236 No. I ride my bike. 48 00:08:59,338 --> 00:09:02,398 - What kind of bike do you have? - It's a Sledgehammer. 49 00:09:02,508 --> 00:09:04,601 Dang! 50 00:09:04,710 --> 00:09:06,575 You got shocks, pegs. 51 00:09:06,679 --> 00:09:08,374 Lucky! 52 00:09:10,249 --> 00:09:13,946 You ever take it off any sweet jumps? 53 00:09:20,026 --> 00:09:22,494 You got, like, three feet of air that time. 54 00:09:24,697 --> 00:09:26,665 Can I try it really quick? 55 00:09:33,039 --> 00:09:34,973 Dang it! 56 00:09:35,074 --> 00:09:37,406 I love the way... 57 00:09:37,510 --> 00:09:39,501 your sandy hair... 58 00:09:39,612 --> 00:09:42,172 floats in the air. 59 00:09:42,281 --> 00:09:44,909 To me it's like a lullaby. 60 00:09:45,017 --> 00:09:48,953 I'm just flying by, oh, so high... 61 00:09:49,055 --> 00:09:51,853 like a kite tied to a stake. 62 00:09:55,695 --> 00:09:58,596 How was school? 63 00:09:58,698 --> 00:10:01,166 The worst day of my life. What do you think? 64 00:10:01,267 --> 00:10:04,532 Well, I want you to go see ifTina wants some of this. 65 00:10:08,007 --> 00:10:10,601 Kip hasn't done flipping anything today. 66 00:10:10,710 --> 00:10:13,304 Look, tonight me and your... Kip, listen! 67 00:10:13,412 --> 00:10:14,379 What? 68 00:10:15,381 --> 00:10:17,381 Tonight me and your aunt are gonna go visit some friends... 69 00:10:17,483 --> 00:10:19,383 and we're not gonna be back till tomorrow. 70 00:10:19,485 --> 00:10:23,285 We're gettin' low on steak, so I got Lyle comin' over tomorrow to take care of it. 71 00:10:23,389 --> 00:10:26,187 - Well, what's there to eat? - Knock it off, Napoleon. 72 00:10:26,292 --> 00:10:28,260 Make yourself a dang quesadilla! 73 00:10:28,361 --> 00:10:30,386 Fine! 74 00:10:30,496 --> 00:10:32,430 I'll be back tomorrow. 75 00:10:39,038 --> 00:10:41,302 Stay home and eat all the freakin' chips, Kip! 76 00:10:41,407 --> 00:10:46,572 Napoleon, don't be jealous that I've been chatting online with babes all day. 77 00:10:46,679 --> 00:10:50,080 Besides, we both know I'm training to become a cage fighter. 78 00:10:50,182 --> 00:10:52,844 Since when, Kip? You have the worst reflexes of all time. 79 00:10:52,952 --> 00:10:55,079 - Try and hit me, Napoleon. - What? 80 00:10:55,187 --> 00:10:58,156 I said come down here and see what happens if you try and hit me. 81 00:11:01,293 --> 00:11:03,488 Such an idiot. 82 00:11:03,596 --> 00:11:05,723 Let me see what your best move is. 83 00:11:14,573 --> 00:11:16,700 I'll go get it. 84 00:11:16,809 --> 00:11:18,777 Geez! 85 00:11:25,618 --> 00:11:27,586 Um, hello. 86 00:11:27,687 --> 00:11:30,451 Would you like to look like this? 87 00:11:34,060 --> 00:11:35,721 This is a girl. 88 00:11:37,430 --> 00:11:39,489 Because for a limited time only... 89 00:11:39,598 --> 00:11:42,032 glamour shots by Deb are 75% off. 90 00:11:42,134 --> 00:11:44,625 I already get my hair cut at the Cuttin' Corral. 91 00:11:44,737 --> 00:11:50,232 Well, maybe you'd be interested in some home-woven handicrafts. 92 00:11:50,342 --> 00:11:52,810 ...- I'm Rex... 93 00:11:52,912 --> 00:11:55,073 founder of the Rex Kwon Do Self-Defense System. 94 00:11:55,181 --> 00:11:59,049 After one week with me in my dojo, you'll be prepared to defend yourself... 95 00:11:59,151 --> 00:12:01,278 with the strength of a grizzly... 96 00:12:01,387 --> 00:12:05,483 The reflexes of a puma... 97 00:12:05,591 --> 00:12:07,821 and the wisdom of a man. 98 00:12:09,495 --> 00:12:12,157 Come down today for your free trial lesson! 99 00:12:15,735 --> 00:12:18,761 In here we have some boondoggle key chains. 100 00:12:18,871 --> 00:12:21,601 A must-have for this season's fashion. 101 00:12:21,707 --> 00:12:24,437 I already made, like, infinity of those at Scout camp. 102 00:12:24,543 --> 00:12:26,534 Well, is anyone else here? 103 00:12:26,645 --> 00:12:28,909 I'm trying to earn money for college. 104 00:12:29,014 --> 00:12:31,482 Your mom goes to college. 105 00:12:31,584 --> 00:12:34,417 Let's bring in that... 106 00:12:54,740 --> 00:12:57,937 Tina, you fat lard. Come get some dinner. 107 00:13:02,681 --> 00:13:05,241 Tina, eat. Eat the food. 108 00:13:06,285 --> 00:13:08,412 Eat the food! 109 00:13:24,637 --> 00:13:27,868 It'd be nice if you could pull me into town. 110 00:13:41,520 --> 00:13:44,546 My name is Rex, and if you study with my eight-week program... 111 00:13:44,657 --> 00:13:46,591 you will learn a system of self-defense... 112 00:13:46,692 --> 00:13:49,490 that I developed over two seasons of fighting in the Octagon. 113 00:13:49,595 --> 00:13:52,564 It's called Rex Kwon Do! 114 00:13:52,665 --> 00:13:55,532 I need a volunteer. 115 00:13:55,634 --> 00:13:57,966 Okay, you'll do. Come up here. 116 00:13:59,471 --> 00:14:01,871 Bow to your sensei. Bow to your sensei! 117 00:14:01,974 --> 00:14:03,874 Okay. 118 00:14:03,976 --> 00:14:07,002 Now, I'm gonna give you one chance. 119 00:14:07,112 --> 00:14:09,740 One chance, people. Give me your best shot. 120 00:14:13,752 --> 00:14:16,346 All right. That was pretty good. Okay. 121 00:14:16,455 --> 00:14:18,389 Now, watch this, everybody. 122 00:14:18,490 --> 00:14:20,617 Grab my arm. The other arm. 123 00:14:20,726 --> 00:14:22,660 My other arm. 124 00:14:22,761 --> 00:14:25,525 Now watch this. I'm just gonna break the wrist and walk away. 125 00:14:25,631 --> 00:14:27,531 Break the wrist, walk away. 126 00:14:27,633 --> 00:14:29,692 - Geez! - Okay. 127 00:14:29,802 --> 00:14:32,498 It's just that simple. Now, I want you to kick me. 128 00:14:32,605 --> 00:14:34,664 Come on. Kick me. 129 00:14:35,841 --> 00:14:37,741 Okay, do it again. 130 00:14:37,843 --> 00:14:39,902 Do it again. 131 00:14:40,012 --> 00:14:42,845 - Ouch. - Okay. You'll block it every time. 132 00:14:42,948 --> 00:14:45,542 Have a seat. 133 00:14:45,651 --> 00:14:47,915 Now, in addition to what you just saw... 134 00:14:48,020 --> 00:14:51,751 if you study with my eight-week program, you're gonna learn these things. 135 00:14:51,857 --> 00:14:53,791 First off... 136 00:14:53,893 --> 00:14:55,793 Rex Kwon Do, we use the buddy system. 137 00:14:55,895 --> 00:15:00,389 No more flyin'solo. You need somebody watching your back at all times.! 138 00:15:00,499 --> 00:15:03,730 Second off, you're gonna learn to discipline your image. 139 00:15:03,836 --> 00:15:05,804 Do you think I got where I am today... 140 00:15:05,905 --> 00:15:07,600 because I dress like Peter Pan here? 141 00:15:08,941 --> 00:15:11,102 Take a look at what I'm wearing, people. 142 00:15:11,210 --> 00:15:13,644 Do you think anybody wants a roundhouse kick to the face... 143 00:15:13,746 --> 00:15:16,510 while I'm wearin' these bad boys? 144 00:15:16,615 --> 00:15:19,743 Forget about it. Last off... 145 00:15:19,852 --> 00:15:23,879 my students will learn about self-respect. 146 00:15:23,989 --> 00:15:28,426 Do you think anybody thinks I'm a failure because I go home to Starla at night? 147 00:15:28,527 --> 00:15:30,995 Forget about it.! 148 00:15:31,096 --> 00:15:34,031 Now, for only $300, you can sign up right now... 149 00:15:34,133 --> 00:15:36,363 for my eight-week program. 150 00:15:44,176 --> 00:15:46,110 Well, that place was a rip-off. 151 00:16:04,730 --> 00:16:06,664 Hey, Lyle. 152 00:16:18,277 --> 00:16:20,837 Nothin' on here works smooth. 153 00:17:41,226 --> 00:17:44,127 So me and you are pretty much friends by now, right? 154 00:17:44,229 --> 00:17:46,129 Yes. 155 00:17:46,231 --> 00:17:48,461 So, you got my back and everything? 156 00:17:48,567 --> 00:17:50,000 What? 157 00:17:51,537 --> 00:17:54,472 Never mind. 158 00:17:54,573 --> 00:17:58,134 - Have you heard about the dance? - Yes. 159 00:17:58,243 --> 00:18:00,643 Have you met anyone to ask yet? 160 00:18:00,746 --> 00:18:04,307 No. But I probably will after school. 161 00:18:04,416 --> 00:18:06,646 Who you gonna ask? 162 00:18:06,752 --> 00:18:09,778 That girl over there. 163 00:18:09,888 --> 00:18:12,186 She braided my hair one time... 164 00:18:12,291 --> 00:18:14,486 Summer Wheatly? How the heck are you gonna do that? 165 00:18:14,593 --> 00:18:17,255 Build her a cake or something. 166 00:18:18,931 --> 00:18:20,865 Yeah, my old girlfriend from Oklahoma... 167 00:18:20,966 --> 00:18:22,900 was gonna fly out here for the dance... 168 00:18:23,001 --> 00:18:25,697 but she couldn't 'cause she's doing some modeling right now. 169 00:18:25,804 --> 00:18:28,329 Is she hot? 170 00:18:33,378 --> 00:18:35,346 See for yourself. 171 00:18:36,548 --> 00:18:38,539 Wow. 172 00:18:38,650 --> 00:18:43,314 Yeah, I took her to the mall to get some glamour shots for her birthday one year. 173 00:18:44,356 --> 00:18:47,052 - I like her bangs. - Me too. 174 00:18:53,031 --> 00:18:55,795 How long did it take you to grow that mustache? 175 00:18:55,901 --> 00:18:57,869 A couple of days. 176 00:18:57,970 --> 00:19:00,234 I wish I could grow one. 177 00:19:05,244 --> 00:19:07,678 Are you gonna eat your Tots? 178 00:19:07,779 --> 00:19:10,543 No. 179 00:19:10,649 --> 00:19:11,911 Can I have 'em? 180 00:19:41,046 --> 00:19:44,106 You see that girl over there? 181 00:19:44,216 --> 00:19:46,946 She came over to my house the other day. 182 00:19:47,052 --> 00:19:49,020 - Why? - I don't know... 183 00:19:49,121 --> 00:19:51,749 but she left all this crap on my porch. 184 00:19:53,625 --> 00:19:55,684 She's pretty good-looking. 185 00:19:55,794 --> 00:19:57,853 Do you dare me to go talk to her? 186 00:19:57,963 --> 00:20:00,124 Sure. 187 00:20:11,743 --> 00:20:16,043 I see you're drinking one-percent. Is that 'cause you think you're fat? 188 00:20:18,183 --> 00:20:21,880 'Cause you're not. You could be drinking whole if you wanted to. 189 00:20:23,689 --> 00:20:27,625 Well, I have all your equipment in my locker. 190 00:20:27,726 --> 00:20:31,958 You should probably come get it 'cause I can't fit my nunchakus in there anymore. 191 00:20:33,365 --> 00:20:35,333 Where's your locker? 192 00:20:44,476 --> 00:20:46,774 Hey, can I have one of your key chains? 193 00:21:08,600 --> 00:21:10,363 Whoo! 194 00:21:20,279 --> 00:21:22,270 Whoo! Whoo! Whoo! Whoo! 195 00:21:38,830 --> 00:21:42,129 Hello? 196 00:22:09,761 --> 00:22:11,729 Napoleon, give me some of your Tots. 197 00:22:11,830 --> 00:22:14,856 - No, go find your own. - Come on. Give me some of your Tots. 198 00:22:14,966 --> 00:22:18,060 No. I'm freakin' starved. I didn't get to eat anything today. 199 00:22:18,170 --> 00:22:20,661 G... 200 00:22:20,772 --> 00:22:23,172 Gross. 201 00:22:23,275 --> 00:22:26,335 Freakin' idiot! 202 00:22:32,551 --> 00:22:35,315 Tina, come get some ham. 203 00:23:03,014 --> 00:23:05,209 What are you doing here, Uncle Rico? 204 00:23:05,317 --> 00:23:08,980 Your grandma took a little spill at the sand dunes today, broke her coccyx. 205 00:23:09,087 --> 00:23:11,988 What? Since when does she go to the dunes? 206 00:23:18,196 --> 00:23:20,664 Looks like there's a lot you don't know about her. 207 00:23:34,179 --> 00:23:36,272 - So, when's Grandma coming back? - I don't know. 208 00:23:36,381 --> 00:23:38,474 Not sure. 209 00:23:38,583 --> 00:23:40,483 You don't have to stay here with us. We're not babies. 210 00:23:40,585 --> 00:23:44,021 Talk to your Auntie Caroline. 211 00:23:44,122 --> 00:23:46,818 Well, Kip is, like, 32 years old. 212 00:23:46,925 --> 00:23:48,825 I don't mind if you stay. 213 00:23:48,927 --> 00:23:51,157 Oh. Thanks, Kip. 214 00:23:51,263 --> 00:23:55,290 What the flip was Grandma doin'at the sand dunes? 215 00:23:55,400 --> 00:23:58,927 She was on a date... with her boyfriend. 216 00:23:59,037 --> 00:24:01,198 Boyfriend? 217 00:24:02,574 --> 00:24:05,509 Hey, you guys want to see my video? 218 00:24:28,633 --> 00:24:31,625 So, what do you think? 219 00:24:31,736 --> 00:24:34,796 - It's pretty cool, I guess. - Oh. 220 00:24:34,906 --> 00:24:37,101 Man, I wish I could go back in time. 221 00:24:37,209 --> 00:24:39,473 I'd take state. 222 00:24:39,578 --> 00:24:41,876 This is pretty much the worst video ever made. 223 00:24:41,980 --> 00:24:45,040 Napoleon, like anyone can even know that. 224 00:24:45,150 --> 00:24:48,278 You know what, Napoleon? You can leave. 225 00:24:48,386 --> 00:24:50,354 You guys are retarded. 226 00:24:50,455 --> 00:24:52,480 Hah! 227 00:24:52,591 --> 00:24:54,855 Hey, check that out. 228 00:25:09,374 --> 00:25:11,274 So, you and Tammy still together? 229 00:25:11,376 --> 00:25:14,539 No. Not really. 230 00:25:16,014 --> 00:25:18,141 - Why is that? - Well... 231 00:25:19,885 --> 00:25:21,785 she's jealous. 232 00:25:21,887 --> 00:25:24,685 Says I'm livin' too much in '82. 233 00:25:24,789 --> 00:25:26,689 Well, I dumped her. 234 00:25:28,894 --> 00:25:31,886 What about your girlfriend? 235 00:25:31,997 --> 00:25:34,625 Well, things are gettin' pretty serious right now. 236 00:25:34,733 --> 00:25:37,930 I mean, we chat online for, like, two hours every day... 237 00:25:38,036 --> 00:25:41,472 so I guess you could say things are gettin' pretty serious. 238 00:25:41,573 --> 00:25:47,273 I'm just really tryin'to raise a few bucks right now so I can bring her around for a few days. 239 00:25:48,914 --> 00:25:51,246 Yep. Well, what's she look like? 240 00:25:51,349 --> 00:25:53,681 She's, uh... She's got sandy blonde hair. 241 00:25:53,785 --> 00:25:55,685 She's, uh, pretty-look... 242 00:25:55,787 --> 00:25:57,721 pretty good-looking face, but... 243 00:25:57,822 --> 00:26:00,017 I'm just gettin' really... just kinda T.O.'d... 244 00:26:00,125 --> 00:26:03,993 because, I mean, she hasn't even sent me a full body shot yet. 245 00:26:07,732 --> 00:26:09,700 Hey, you know... 246 00:26:10,835 --> 00:26:12,769 I got a little project... 247 00:26:12,871 --> 00:26:15,431 that we might be able to make a little moola with. 248 00:26:15,540 --> 00:26:18,839 Really? That sounds pretty good. 249 00:26:18,944 --> 00:26:21,845 Have you ever heard of nylon polymer? 250 00:26:24,115 --> 00:26:26,083 Go for it. 251 00:26:59,718 --> 00:27:03,620 Back in '82, I used to be able to throw a pigskin a quarter mile. 252 00:27:03,722 --> 00:27:06,452 - Are you serious? - I'm dead serious. 253 00:27:09,160 --> 00:27:11,128 Watch this. 254 00:27:17,102 --> 00:27:19,002 What the heck are you doing? 255 00:27:19,104 --> 00:27:20,969 That's what I'm talkin' about. 256 00:27:21,072 --> 00:27:23,040 I better go. 257 00:27:32,584 --> 00:27:36,111 How much you want to make a bet I can throw a football over them mountains? 258 00:27:37,789 --> 00:27:40,758 Yeah. If coach would've put me in fourth quarter... 259 00:27:40,859 --> 00:27:43,692 we'd have been state champions, no doubt. 260 00:27:43,795 --> 00:27:46,628 No doubt in my mind. 261 00:27:46,731 --> 00:27:49,029 You better believe things would have been different. 262 00:27:49,134 --> 00:27:52,262 I'd have gone pro... in a heartbeat. 263 00:27:52,370 --> 00:27:54,668 I'd be makin' millions of dollars and... 264 00:27:54,773 --> 00:27:59,142 livin' in a... big ol' mansion somewhere. 265 00:27:59,244 --> 00:28:02,805 You know, soakin' it up in a hot tub with my soul mate. 266 00:28:07,786 --> 00:28:09,918 Kip... 267 00:28:10,021 --> 00:28:13,047 I reckon you know a lot about cyberspace. 268 00:28:14,359 --> 00:28:18,386 Y- You ever come across anything like time travel? 269 00:28:18,496 --> 00:28:20,464 Easy. 270 00:28:20,565 --> 00:28:23,432 I've already looked into it for myself. 271 00:28:26,504 --> 00:28:28,995 Right on. 272 00:28:29,107 --> 00:28:31,041 Right on. 273 00:29:02,474 --> 00:29:04,408 Is Pedro here today? 274 00:29:04,509 --> 00:29:07,103 I don't think so. Why? 275 00:29:07,212 --> 00:29:09,442 Just wondering. 276 00:29:09,547 --> 00:29:11,742 Can you, uh, give this to him for me? 277 00:29:12,784 --> 00:29:14,775 Okay. 278 00:29:15,920 --> 00:29:19,583 Hey, Summer, you want to play me? 279 00:29:20,692 --> 00:29:22,819 Mm-mmm. 280 00:29:34,572 --> 00:29:37,166 Ow. God. 281 00:29:45,517 --> 00:29:48,782 - What are you drawing? - A liger. 282 00:29:48,887 --> 00:29:50,980 What's a liger? 283 00:29:51,089 --> 00:29:53,455 It's pretty much my favorite animal. 284 00:29:53,558 --> 00:29:55,685 It's like a lion and a tiger mixed. 285 00:29:55,794 --> 00:29:58,194 Bred for its skills in magic. 286 00:29:58,296 --> 00:30:00,264 Hmm. 287 00:30:04,035 --> 00:30:06,799 Where's your friend? 288 00:30:06,905 --> 00:30:09,203 I don't know. Did you see him today? 289 00:30:09,307 --> 00:30:11,901 No. 290 00:30:12,010 --> 00:30:13,978 Neither did I. 291 00:30:14,078 --> 00:30:17,013 - Do you need a ride? - No. 292 00:30:17,115 --> 00:30:20,983 I missed the bus today, but my uncle's coming to get me. 293 00:30:21,085 --> 00:30:24,885 Oh. 294 00:30:29,060 --> 00:30:31,255 See ya. 295 00:30:42,507 --> 00:30:44,407 Right. I... I think... 296 00:30:44,509 --> 00:30:47,774 just a little bit east of the cemetery is a good little area right here. 297 00:30:47,879 --> 00:30:51,212 We should do it there. Don't go down here, 'cause they don't have any money. 298 00:30:51,316 --> 00:30:54,547 So, how long are we talkin'about workin'? 299 00:30:54,652 --> 00:30:57,382 What are you... You're already losing your steam? 300 00:30:57,488 --> 00:31:00,855 No. I just... I have a chat room meeting at 4:00. 301 00:31:00,959 --> 00:31:02,893 I gotta be back here by then. 302 00:31:02,994 --> 00:31:06,259 - All right, you just start a little earlier. That's all. - All right. 303 00:31:06,364 --> 00:31:08,855 Or else work afterwards. How long's the chat room? 304 00:31:08,967 --> 00:31:12,130 Geez, sometimes up to three, four hours maybe. 305 00:31:14,439 --> 00:31:16,373 Maybe not. I don't know. 306 00:31:16,474 --> 00:31:18,442 You... You pay the bills for that? 307 00:31:18,543 --> 00:31:21,637 Does that cost money every time you're on, like for minutes on the phone? 308 00:31:21,746 --> 00:31:23,646 Yeah. Grandma's still payin' per minute. 309 00:31:23,748 --> 00:31:26,808 She gets kind of pissed at me sometimes 'cause I'm on there so long. 310 00:31:26,918 --> 00:31:29,785 I'll bet she does. I'd be throwin' you out the window. 311 00:31:33,458 --> 00:31:35,653 - Bueno. - Hello? 312 00:31:35,760 --> 00:31:38,058 - Who's this? - Napoleon Dynamite. 313 00:31:38,162 --> 00:31:40,562 - Who? - Napoleon Dynamite. 314 00:31:40,665 --> 00:31:44,066 - I'm one of Pedro's best friends. - Your name is Napoleon? 315 00:31:44,168 --> 00:31:46,329 Yes. Is Pedro there? 316 00:31:46,437 --> 00:31:48,428 No, he's not here right now. 317 00:31:48,539 --> 00:31:50,507 Okay, bye. 318 00:31:51,709 --> 00:31:54,177 See, Crystal Street. That's for you. 319 00:31:54,279 --> 00:31:57,976 I'm goin'to Adams Park. They got some money in Adams Park. 320 00:32:00,451 --> 00:32:02,510 What? 321 00:32:02,620 --> 00:32:04,520 Let's go, Kipper. I think we should take this... 322 00:32:04,622 --> 00:32:07,113 - someplace a little more private. - That's a good idea. 323 00:32:08,293 --> 00:32:10,352 Please. Please. Be good to me. 324 00:32:10,461 --> 00:32:12,861 Please, keep going. Dead on. Dead on. 325 00:32:16,134 --> 00:32:18,227 Yes! 326 00:32:25,443 --> 00:32:29,436 Before we get started on our new project, I have a few concerns. 327 00:32:31,082 --> 00:32:33,846 First off, I'm concerned about your transportation situation. 328 00:32:33,952 --> 00:32:37,319 I mean, do you... you got a car you can borrow from someone? 329 00:32:37,422 --> 00:32:39,322 Well, that's the problem right now. 330 00:32:39,424 --> 00:32:41,324 At the moment, nothing comes to mind. 331 00:32:48,333 --> 00:32:52,793 You can borrow my van for the time being. I... I do better on foot anyway. 332 00:32:52,904 --> 00:32:56,704 We also need some way to make us look official, like we got all the answers. 333 00:32:56,808 --> 00:32:59,174 How about some gold bracelets? 334 00:33:00,411 --> 00:33:02,379 We need, like, some name tags... 335 00:33:02,480 --> 00:33:04,573 with our picture on it, all laminated and whatnot. 336 00:33:04,682 --> 00:33:06,582 I mean, we gotta look legit, man. 337 00:33:06,684 --> 00:33:08,584 That's true. That's true. 338 00:33:08,686 --> 00:33:11,382 Say, you know of a... a place we can get our picture taken... 339 00:33:11,489 --> 00:33:13,389 like a... a photo store? 340 00:33:13,491 --> 00:33:15,391 Okay. 341 00:33:15,493 --> 00:33:18,087 Turn your head on more of a slant. 342 00:33:20,465 --> 00:33:22,592 Now, make a fist... 343 00:33:22,700 --> 00:33:24,861 and slowly ease it up underneath your chin. 344 00:33:28,873 --> 00:33:32,673 - This is looking really good. - You can say that again. 345 00:33:34,946 --> 00:33:36,937 Okay, hold still right there. 346 00:33:37,048 --> 00:33:39,573 Now, just imagine you're weightless. 347 00:33:40,651 --> 00:33:42,846 You're in the middle of the ocean... 348 00:33:42,954 --> 00:33:45,923 surrounded by tiny little sea horses. 349 00:33:52,563 --> 00:33:56,021 That was the one. I think that's gonna come out really nice. 350 00:33:56,134 --> 00:33:59,592 Uh, you did it? 351 00:33:59,704 --> 00:34:03,435 Wow. Wow, that felt really relaxed. 352 00:34:03,541 --> 00:34:05,441 Thanks, Deb. 353 00:34:05,543 --> 00:34:09,411 You're up, Kip. 354 00:34:11,716 --> 00:34:14,446 Is there some kind of vest that I can wear? 355 00:34:23,561 --> 00:34:26,894 - Where have you been? - I got sick. 356 00:34:28,933 --> 00:34:30,992 Has Summer said anything to you yet? 357 00:34:31,102 --> 00:34:33,263 No, not yet. 358 00:34:33,371 --> 00:34:35,168 Well, she said no. 359 00:34:35,273 --> 00:34:37,173 She did? 360 00:34:38,609 --> 00:34:41,635 - Well, what about that other girl? - What other girl? 361 00:34:41,746 --> 00:34:44,806 - The one that left all that crap on your porch. - You mean Deb? 362 00:34:44,916 --> 00:34:47,510 - Yes, her. - What about her? 363 00:34:47,618 --> 00:34:50,416 - Well, I asked her out too. - What? 364 00:35:23,121 --> 00:35:25,612 Well, nobody's gonna go out with me. 365 00:35:27,391 --> 00:35:30,519 - Have you asked anybody yet? - No, but who would? 366 00:35:30,628 --> 00:35:33,995 - I don't even have any good skills. - What do you mean? 367 00:35:34,098 --> 00:35:36,464 You know, like... 368 00:35:36,567 --> 00:35:39,593 nunchaku skills, bow hunting skills... 369 00:35:39,704 --> 00:35:41,934 computer hacking skills. 370 00:35:43,207 --> 00:35:45,675 Girls only want boyfriends who have great skills. 371 00:35:45,776 --> 00:35:47,971 Aren't you pretty good at drawing, like... 372 00:35:48,079 --> 00:35:49,979 animals and warriors and stuff? 373 00:35:50,081 --> 00:35:52,242 Yes. 374 00:35:52,350 --> 00:35:54,682 Probably the best that I know of. 375 00:35:54,785 --> 00:35:57,413 Just draw a picture of the girl you want to take out... 376 00:35:57,522 --> 00:36:00,150 and give it to her for, like, a gift or something. 377 00:36:01,259 --> 00:36:03,523 That's a pretty good idea. 378 00:36:31,155 --> 00:36:34,124 Now, if you invest in the 24-piece set... 379 00:36:34,225 --> 00:36:36,693 I'm gonna throw in a little gift. 380 00:36:36,794 --> 00:36:39,058 So, what's the gift? 381 00:36:40,731 --> 00:36:44,360 I bet you folks don't have one of these. 382 00:36:49,407 --> 00:36:51,568 I want that. 383 00:36:51,676 --> 00:36:54,668 You see, this ain't your run-of-the-mill "crapper-ware." 384 00:36:54,779 --> 00:36:58,408 These are some serious "NuPont" fiber-woven bowls. 385 00:36:58,516 --> 00:37:01,508 So, if we purchase the 24-piece set... 386 00:37:01,619 --> 00:37:03,553 the mini sailboat is included? 387 00:37:03,654 --> 00:37:05,747 That's correct, sir. 388 00:37:05,856 --> 00:37:08,984 Lance, you look like a strong young pup. 389 00:37:10,394 --> 00:37:13,955 Why don't you see if you can give that a nice tear. 390 00:37:21,906 --> 00:37:24,602 Don't hurt yourself now. 391 00:37:24,709 --> 00:37:26,643 I can't do it. 392 00:37:26,744 --> 00:37:28,905 Can't. 393 00:37:31,749 --> 00:37:33,774 So, uh... 394 00:37:33,884 --> 00:37:36,352 how does the "dealio" sound to you? 395 00:37:51,535 --> 00:37:54,197 Dang it. 396 00:38:17,261 --> 00:38:20,355 - Is Trisha here? - Oh, I'm sorry, she's not. 397 00:38:20,464 --> 00:38:23,661 - She's at a friend's house right now. - Well, hey, Napoleon. 398 00:38:26,771 --> 00:38:30,798 - Napoleon's my nephew. - Oh, that's nice. 399 00:38:30,908 --> 00:38:33,376 Could you just give this to her for me? 400 00:38:33,477 --> 00:38:38,244 - I certainly could. - Thanks. 401 00:38:38,349 --> 00:38:40,283 Bye-bye. 402 00:38:43,187 --> 00:38:47,749 Poor kid. I've been takin' care of him while his grandma's in the hospital. 403 00:38:48,993 --> 00:38:51,393 He still wets the bed and everything. 404 00:38:51,495 --> 00:38:53,395 You're kidding. 405 00:38:53,497 --> 00:38:57,433 Yeah, he's a tender little guy. He still gets beat up and whatnot. 406 00:38:58,469 --> 00:39:01,165 Anyway, uh... 407 00:39:01,272 --> 00:39:07,108 so we still feelin' pretty good about this, uh, 32-piece set here? 408 00:39:07,211 --> 00:39:10,180 - Ow! - What the crap was Uncle Rico doin' at my girlfriend's house? 409 00:39:10,281 --> 00:39:13,182 Napoleon, let go of me! I think you're bruisin' my neck meat! 410 00:39:13,284 --> 00:39:14,546 Fine. 411 00:39:14,652 --> 00:39:16,620 What the heck are you guys doin'? 412 00:39:16,721 --> 00:39:20,213 Tryin' to ruin my life and make me look like a friggin' idiot? 413 00:39:20,324 --> 00:39:22,622 I'm out makin' some sweet moola with Uncle Rico. 414 00:39:22,727 --> 00:39:24,786 Geez, I think you ripped my mole off. 415 00:39:24,895 --> 00:39:27,955 - I did? - Yeah, is it bleeding? 416 00:39:28,065 --> 00:39:29,999 A little bit. 417 00:39:30,101 --> 00:39:32,035 Hey, Kip. 418 00:39:36,073 --> 00:39:38,974 I wish you wouldn't look at me like that, Napoleon. 419 00:39:39,076 --> 00:39:41,636 I wish you'd get out of my life and shut up. 420 00:39:41,746 --> 00:39:45,045 I'm gonna tell you somethin'. While you're playin' patty-cake with your friend Pedro... 421 00:39:45,149 --> 00:39:47,879 your Uncle Rico... is makin' 120 bucks. 422 00:39:47,985 --> 00:39:50,579 I could make that much money in five seconds. 423 00:39:50,688 --> 00:39:53,714 Geez. Yeah, right, Napoleon. I made, like, 75 bucks today. 424 00:39:55,025 --> 00:39:57,255 Napoleon, it looks like you don't have a job. 425 00:39:57,361 --> 00:39:59,329 So why don't you get out there and feed Tina. 426 00:39:59,430 --> 00:40:01,660 Why don't you go eat a "decroded" piece of crap. 427 00:40:05,336 --> 00:40:08,032 There's a lot more where this came from... 428 00:40:08,139 --> 00:40:10,073 if you go to the dance with me. 429 00:40:10,174 --> 00:40:12,642 Yours truly, Napoleon Dynamite. 430 00:40:22,653 --> 00:40:25,713 You know you're gonna go to that dance with that boy. 431 00:40:28,192 --> 00:40:31,320 By noon I need them 8,000 hens moved into their new cages. 432 00:40:31,429 --> 00:40:34,694 Sometimes they don't want to cooperate. 433 00:40:34,799 --> 00:40:38,291 But you give 'em a good shakin', they'll settle down for ya. 434 00:40:38,402 --> 00:40:40,666 Do the chickens have large talons? 435 00:40:40,771 --> 00:40:43,171 - Do they have what? - Large talons. 436 00:40:43,274 --> 00:40:46,209 I don't understand a word you just said. 437 00:40:47,945 --> 00:40:50,140 Okay, you meet me back here about noon, and, uh... 438 00:40:50,247 --> 00:40:52,647 we'll have a little lunch waitin' for ya. 439 00:41:32,256 --> 00:41:34,224 Ew! 440 00:41:54,378 --> 00:41:56,778 Well, dig in. 441 00:42:22,973 --> 00:42:25,100 Over there, in that pigpen... 442 00:42:25,209 --> 00:42:28,007 I found a couple of Shoshoni arrowheads. 443 00:42:39,957 --> 00:42:43,791 Can't find my checkbook. Hope you don't mind I pay you in change. 444 00:42:47,531 --> 00:42:49,226 Six dollars. 445 00:42:50,935 --> 00:42:52,903 That's, like, a dollar an hour. 446 00:42:58,709 --> 00:43:00,404 Hello? 447 00:43:00,511 --> 00:43:03,071 - Hi. Is Napoleon there? - Yes. 448 00:43:05,182 --> 00:43:07,844 - Can I talk to him? - You already are. 449 00:43:07,952 --> 00:43:09,920 Oh. 450 00:43:10,020 --> 00:43:13,217 Napoleon, this is Trisha. 451 00:43:13,324 --> 00:43:15,485 I'm just calling to tell you that... 452 00:43:15,593 --> 00:43:17,993 I can go to the dance with you. 453 00:43:18,095 --> 00:43:20,120 And also... 454 00:43:20,230 --> 00:43:23,893 I wanted to thank you for the beautiful drawing you did of me. 455 00:43:24,001 --> 00:43:26,970 - It's hanging in my bedroom. - Really? 456 00:43:27,071 --> 00:43:30,666 Took me, like, three hours to finish the shading on your upper lip. 457 00:43:30,774 --> 00:43:33,265 It's probably the best drawing I've ever done. 458 00:43:33,377 --> 00:43:36,039 Yeah, it's really... nice. 459 00:43:36,146 --> 00:43:39,741 Yeah, well, I'll probably pick you up at 6:00 for the dance. 460 00:43:39,850 --> 00:43:43,013 - Is that okay? - That's fine. 461 00:43:43,120 --> 00:43:44,519 Okay, bye. 462 00:43:45,856 --> 00:43:48,620 Bye. 463 00:43:55,232 --> 00:43:58,167 - Who was that? - Trisha. 464 00:43:58,268 --> 00:44:01,795 - Who's she? - My woman I'm takin' to the dance. 465 00:44:01,905 --> 00:44:05,170 - You draw her a picture? - Heck, yes, I did! 466 00:44:05,275 --> 00:44:09,041 Well, what are you going to wear to the dance? 467 00:44:09,146 --> 00:44:11,307 Just, like, a silk shirt or something. 468 00:44:11,415 --> 00:44:14,043 - What are you gonna wear? - Dad has something for me. 469 00:44:14,151 --> 00:44:16,676 But you should probably get a suit. 470 00:44:21,892 --> 00:44:25,293 Pedro, how do you feel about that one? 471 00:44:25,396 --> 00:44:27,296 It looks nice. 472 00:44:27,398 --> 00:44:29,298 Yeah. It looks pretty sweet. 473 00:44:29,400 --> 00:44:31,459 It looks awesome. 474 00:44:31,568 --> 00:44:34,435 That suit, it's... It's incredible. 475 00:45:16,113 --> 00:45:18,138 I need you to give me a ride in an hour. 476 00:45:18,248 --> 00:45:20,648 Where to? 477 00:45:20,751 --> 00:45:22,446 The dance. 478 00:45:23,821 --> 00:45:25,789 - You takin' my client's daughter? - Yes. 479 00:45:25,889 --> 00:45:27,880 We need to pick her up too. 480 00:45:27,991 --> 00:45:33,588 Well, Uncle Rico's got a sale to finalize in Bonita in five minutes. 481 00:45:33,697 --> 00:45:36,791 Can't you take me and then drop me off when you're done or whatever? 482 00:45:54,585 --> 00:45:56,815 Well, I'll be back in a minute. 483 00:45:56,920 --> 00:45:59,286 Don't disturb me while I'm in there. 484 00:45:59,389 --> 00:46:02,153 Well, hurry up, 'cause I gotta get Trisha. 485 00:46:22,379 --> 00:46:26,008 Hi. I got your 24-piece set right here. 486 00:48:19,897 --> 00:48:23,355 So you guys are, like, Pedro's cousins with all the sweet hookups? 487 00:48:23,467 --> 00:48:25,367 Simón. 488 00:48:36,713 --> 00:48:39,682 Is Trisha here? 489 00:48:39,783 --> 00:48:43,116 Who's that in my driveway? 490 00:48:45,055 --> 00:48:47,285 That's my ride. 491 00:49:49,353 --> 00:49:53,221 Do you wanna go over by my friend Pedro and dance really quick? 492 00:51:03,427 --> 00:51:05,327 Napoleon. 493 00:51:05,429 --> 00:51:07,954 When did you get here? 494 00:51:08,065 --> 00:51:10,863 Just a couple minutes ago. 495 00:51:10,967 --> 00:51:13,128 Have you guys seen Trisha anywhere? 496 00:51:13,236 --> 00:51:15,397 No. 497 00:51:15,505 --> 00:51:17,530 Oh. 498 00:51:17,641 --> 00:51:19,609 She probably just went to the bathroom. 499 00:51:22,245 --> 00:51:25,373 Are you guys having a killer time? 500 00:51:25,482 --> 00:51:28,007 Yes. 501 00:51:39,663 --> 00:51:43,997 If you can't find Trisha, I'll let you dance with Deb for a few songs. 502 00:51:53,743 --> 00:51:56,211 I like your sleeves. They're real big. 503 00:51:57,514 --> 00:51:59,414 Thank you. 504 00:51:59,516 --> 00:52:02,007 I made them myself. 505 00:52:05,422 --> 00:52:08,550 So you and Pedro are getting really serious now? 506 00:52:08,658 --> 00:52:10,558 No. 507 00:52:10,660 --> 00:52:12,560 We're just friends. 508 00:52:12,662 --> 00:52:15,187 Huh. 509 00:52:18,001 --> 00:52:20,367 How your glamour shots been going lately? 510 00:52:21,471 --> 00:52:23,439 Pretty good. 511 00:52:26,543 --> 00:52:30,172 I could do a personal portrait sometime... 512 00:52:30,280 --> 00:52:32,180 if you wanted to come over. 513 00:52:34,017 --> 00:52:35,712 Okay. 514 00:53:25,168 --> 00:53:28,262 Do you think people will vote for me? 515 00:53:28,371 --> 00:53:30,771 Heck, yes. I'd vote for you. 516 00:53:30,874 --> 00:53:33,104 Like, what are my skills? 517 00:53:33,210 --> 00:53:35,303 Well, you have a sweet bike... 518 00:53:35,412 --> 00:53:38,973 and you're really good at hookin' up with chicks. 519 00:53:39,082 --> 00:53:42,483 Plus you're, like, the only guy at school who has a mustache. 520 00:53:42,586 --> 00:53:44,486 That's true. 521 00:53:44,588 --> 00:53:47,989 If you need to use any of my skills, I can do whatever you want. 522 00:53:48,091 --> 00:53:50,218 Thanks. 523 00:53:50,327 --> 00:53:53,558 If I win, you can be my secretary or something. 524 00:53:53,663 --> 00:53:57,656 Sweet! Plus I could be your bodyguard too. 525 00:53:57,767 --> 00:54:02,101 Or, like, Secret Service captain or... whatever. 526 00:54:02,205 --> 00:54:04,173 Okay. 527 00:54:11,047 --> 00:54:13,413 Is that yours? 528 00:54:13,516 --> 00:54:15,814 Don't touch it. It's Uncle Rico's. 529 00:54:15,919 --> 00:54:17,978 What's it for? 530 00:54:20,924 --> 00:54:23,654 It's a time machine, Napoleon. He bought it online. 531 00:54:25,395 --> 00:54:29,161 - Yeah, right. - It works, Napoleon. You don't even know. 532 00:54:29,266 --> 00:54:31,496 Have you guys tried it yet? 533 00:54:31,601 --> 00:54:33,364 No. 534 00:54:54,658 --> 00:54:57,855 - So, are you ready? - Yeah. Hold on. 535 00:54:57,961 --> 00:55:01,522 I forgot to put in the crystals. 536 00:55:03,633 --> 00:55:06,830 Okay, turn it on. 537 00:55:06,936 --> 00:55:09,029 Kill... 538 00:55:09,139 --> 00:55:11,164 the pow... 539 00:55:11,274 --> 00:55:13,708 Kill... 540 00:55:13,810 --> 00:55:15,505 Turn it off! Turn it off! 541 00:55:18,081 --> 00:55:21,244 It's a piece of crap. It doesn't work. 542 00:55:21,351 --> 00:55:24,548 Well, I could've told you that. 543 00:55:37,500 --> 00:55:41,061 I-I said the 12 pack, not the 24 pack. 544 00:55:41,171 --> 00:55:43,139 You're just gonna have to mix and match. 545 00:55:43,239 --> 00:55:45,469 Shut up. Say it so the whole world can hear. 546 00:55:45,575 --> 00:55:48,066 Well, put it back. 547 00:55:54,417 --> 00:55:57,284 Napoleon, you know we can't afford the fun pack. 548 00:55:57,387 --> 00:56:01,084 You think money grows on trees in this family? Take it back. 549 00:56:01,191 --> 00:56:03,659 Get some Pampers for you and your brother while you're at it. 550 00:56:07,330 --> 00:56:10,197 We can use a little of this. I can tell you that. 551 00:56:10,300 --> 00:56:14,566 We can use those. 552 00:56:23,646 --> 00:56:27,207 The defect in that one is bleach. 553 00:56:29,185 --> 00:56:31,983 - That's correct. - Yes! 554 00:56:44,200 --> 00:56:47,067 This tastes like the cow got into an onion patch. 555 00:56:49,005 --> 00:56:51,803 - Correct. - Yes! 556 00:56:54,644 --> 00:56:58,171 They're pretty good except for one little problem. 557 00:56:59,549 --> 00:57:03,986 That little guy right there, he has nipple number five. 558 00:57:04,087 --> 00:57:06,055 A good dairy cow should have, like, four. 559 00:57:06,156 --> 00:57:09,091 Well done. 560 00:57:10,760 --> 00:57:12,728 - Vote for Summer. - Vote for Summer. 561 00:57:12,829 --> 00:57:15,423 Vote for Summer. Thanks. 562 00:57:15,532 --> 00:57:17,864 Yeah. Vote for Summer. 563 00:57:20,370 --> 00:57:22,429 Hi. Vote for Summer. 564 00:57:22,539 --> 00:57:24,598 Hi, ladies. Vote for Summer. You guys voting? 565 00:57:28,411 --> 00:57:32,040 - Do you think it's kinda warm in here? - No. 566 00:57:34,350 --> 00:57:37,649 I think it's... They have the heater on or something. 567 00:57:37,754 --> 00:57:40,882 It seems pretty good to me. 568 00:57:40,990 --> 00:57:44,517 You don't feel like your head is burning or... or anything? 569 00:57:44,627 --> 00:57:47,061 No. 570 00:57:47,163 --> 00:57:49,529 I'm gonna go home and lay down. 571 00:57:49,632 --> 00:57:51,600 Okay. See ya. 572 00:58:01,177 --> 00:58:03,042 - Vote for Summer. - Yeah, right. 573 00:58:03,146 --> 00:58:06,309 - I'm not votin' for her. - Then who are you gonna vote for? 574 00:58:06,416 --> 00:58:08,475 I'm votin' for Pedro Sanchez. Who do you think? 575 00:58:11,488 --> 00:58:15,549 Hey, Don, can I have one of those buttons? 576 00:58:25,668 --> 00:58:28,193 Hey. Vote for Summer. 577 00:58:28,304 --> 00:58:30,329 Hi. Vote for Summer. 578 00:58:32,542 --> 00:58:35,841 So, that guy in Florida give you your money back yet? 579 00:58:35,945 --> 00:58:38,937 Oh, I wrote him an e-mail, sayin' I'm gonna contact the authorities... 580 00:58:39,048 --> 00:58:42,449 if I don't get a refund in full. 581 00:58:42,552 --> 00:58:46,283 Don't you ever wish you could go back... 582 00:58:46,389 --> 00:58:49,085 with all the knowledge you have now? Tsk. 583 00:58:49,192 --> 00:58:51,456 I guess so. 584 00:58:51,561 --> 00:58:55,053 Well, I'll tell you somethin' right now. You'd find your soul mate. 585 00:58:55,164 --> 00:58:58,793 - I've already got a soul mate. - Oh, yeah. What's her name again? 586 00:58:58,902 --> 00:59:02,269 - Lafawnduh. - Lafawnduh. Huh. 587 00:59:02,372 --> 00:59:05,899 - How's she doin'? - Well, I think I'm gonna need some time off. 588 00:59:06,009 --> 00:59:08,910 She's flyin' out from Detroit for a few days. 589 00:59:09,012 --> 00:59:13,210 Well, what about work? Well, haven't... haven't you studied up on the new product? 590 00:59:13,316 --> 00:59:17,218 - Yes. - Well, do you know it backwards and front? 591 00:59:17,320 --> 00:59:18,878 Basically. 592 00:59:20,223 --> 00:59:22,885 Why don't you sell some to that girlfriend of yours? 593 00:59:22,992 --> 00:59:25,460 You might as well do somethin' while you're doin' nothin'. 594 00:59:25,562 --> 00:59:28,292 Because she doesn't need any. That's why. 595 00:59:33,102 --> 00:59:36,799 Hey. I did some drawings for the flyers. 596 00:59:36,906 --> 00:59:38,965 Thanks. 597 00:59:39,075 --> 00:59:41,839 Why do you got your hood on like that? 598 00:59:41,945 --> 00:59:46,973 Well, when I came home from school, my head started to get really hot. 599 00:59:47,083 --> 00:59:50,780 So I drank some cold water, but it didn't do nothing. 600 00:59:52,455 --> 00:59:54,389 So I laid in the bathtub for a while... 601 00:59:54,490 --> 00:59:59,757 but then I realized that it was my hair that was making my head so hot. 602 00:59:59,862 --> 01:00:03,263 So I went into my kitchen, and I shaved it all off. 603 01:00:04,367 --> 01:00:06,699 I don't want anyone to see. 604 01:00:07,737 --> 01:00:10,297 I know what you mean. 605 01:00:12,342 --> 01:00:16,108 There's just so many options. 606 01:00:18,681 --> 01:00:22,708 That one's good. Looks like a medieval warrior. 607 01:00:24,320 --> 01:00:27,949 You know, you're right. That's a good one. 608 01:00:33,429 --> 01:00:35,397 Sorry. 609 01:00:39,769 --> 01:00:41,703 I think this matches your season, Pedro. 610 01:00:41,804 --> 01:00:44,204 Thank you. 611 01:01:17,774 --> 01:01:19,935 - Vote for Pedro. - Vote for Pedro. 612 01:01:20,043 --> 01:01:22,273 - Vote for Pedro. - Vote for Pedro. 613 01:01:22,378 --> 01:01:24,278 - Vote for me. - Vote for Pedro. 614 01:01:24,380 --> 01:01:26,280 - Vote for Pedro. - Vote for me. 615 01:01:26,382 --> 01:01:29,840 - Vote for Pedro. - Vote for Pedro. 616 01:01:29,952 --> 01:01:32,921 - Vote for Pedro. Vote for Pedro. - Vote for... Pedro. 617 01:01:36,726 --> 01:01:38,694 Hey, give me 50 cents so I can buy a pop. 618 01:01:38,795 --> 01:01:40,888 - I don't have any, Randy. - Come on. I'll pay you back. 619 01:01:40,997 --> 01:01:44,433 I don't have... Stop. 620 01:01:44,534 --> 01:01:48,493 - Don't. Stop. Stop. - I'll do this to you. 621 01:01:48,604 --> 01:01:50,799 Don't. Ow. 622 01:01:50,907 --> 01:01:52,875 Here. Here. 623 01:02:05,922 --> 01:02:09,756 - How's your neck? - Stings. 624 01:02:09,859 --> 01:02:11,850 That's too bad. 625 01:02:13,529 --> 01:02:16,726 Pedro offers you his protection. 626 01:02:24,807 --> 01:02:26,672 - Hey, let me borrow your bike. - No. 627 01:02:26,776 --> 01:02:29,404 - Come on. I'll give you some chips. - No. 628 01:03:28,671 --> 01:03:31,071 Like a wash, and then you blow-dry it with bleach. 629 01:03:31,174 --> 01:03:33,142 Yeah. It's so cool. 630 01:03:38,681 --> 01:03:40,546 Hey, you Trisha? 631 01:03:40,650 --> 01:03:43,585 - Yeah. - You remember me? 632 01:03:43,686 --> 01:03:48,248 I'm a friend of your mom's. I'm... I'm Napoleon's uncle. Uncle Rico. 633 01:03:49,892 --> 01:03:53,350 - Oh. Yeah. - Hey, could you do me a favor? 634 01:03:54,564 --> 01:03:56,429 Could you give your mom a couple of these... 635 01:03:56,532 --> 01:03:59,797 and tell 'em to hand 'em out to her friends or whoever? 636 01:03:59,902 --> 01:04:01,767 'Kay. 637 01:04:01,871 --> 01:04:06,205 You girls give me a call if you feel like you could use some. 638 01:04:14,116 --> 01:04:16,084 Have a nice day. 639 01:06:14,870 --> 01:06:18,601 Why the heck you throwin' crap at my van, Napoleon? 640 01:06:18,708 --> 01:06:22,508 Everybody at school thinks I'm a freakin' idiot 'cause of you. 641 01:06:22,611 --> 01:06:25,205 You're gonna clean my van... right now. 642 01:06:25,314 --> 01:06:27,714 Get off of me, you "bodaggit." 643 01:06:43,866 --> 01:06:48,565 Higher. No, no, higher. 644 01:06:48,671 --> 01:06:51,162 Yeah! 645 01:06:52,708 --> 01:06:56,235 Yeah. Hit it.! 646 01:07:00,516 --> 01:07:02,484 Dang. 647 01:07:32,815 --> 01:07:37,047 Look, Pedro. I don't know how they do things down in Juarez... 648 01:07:37,153 --> 01:07:40,384 but here in Idaho we have a little something called pride. 649 01:07:40,489 --> 01:07:42,923 Understand? 650 01:07:43,025 --> 01:07:47,860 Smashing in the face of a piñata that resembles Summer Wheatly... 651 01:07:47,963 --> 01:07:52,957 is a disgrace to you, me and the entire Gem State. 652 01:08:06,449 --> 01:08:09,885 Welcome to D-Qwon's Dance Grooves. Are you ready to get your groove on? 653 01:08:09,985 --> 01:08:13,682 - Yes. - All right, then. Let's get started. 654 01:08:24,633 --> 01:08:26,533 Are you disqualified? 655 01:08:28,304 --> 01:08:33,503 No. They just made me take down the flyers as a penalty for the piñatas. 656 01:08:33,609 --> 01:08:36,169 Can you still run for president? 657 01:08:37,313 --> 01:08:39,213 Yes. 658 01:08:40,282 --> 01:08:43,274 I don't understand. 659 01:08:43,385 --> 01:08:48,789 He say... you're not allowed to smash piñatas that look like real people. 660 01:08:50,493 --> 01:08:52,859 But we do it in Mexico all the time. 661 01:08:55,097 --> 01:08:56,997 Your hair looked great today. 662 01:08:59,168 --> 01:09:01,068 Thank you. 663 01:09:02,204 --> 01:09:06,470 All right. See you tomorrow, Pedro. 664 01:09:20,523 --> 01:09:22,889 Who are you? 665 01:09:22,992 --> 01:09:26,393 - I'm Lafawnduh. - What are you doing here? 666 01:09:27,496 --> 01:09:29,396 I'm waiting for Kip. 667 01:09:30,533 --> 01:09:34,435 - Kip? - Why are you so sweaty? 668 01:09:36,539 --> 01:09:39,064 - I been practicing. - Mmm. 669 01:09:39,175 --> 01:09:42,474 - Practicing what? - Some dance moves. 670 01:09:44,647 --> 01:09:47,241 You like dancing? 671 01:09:49,318 --> 01:09:51,582 My chores are done. 672 01:09:51,687 --> 01:09:53,746 - So, you ready, Lafawnduh? - I am, honey. 673 01:09:53,856 --> 01:09:56,848 Sorry, Napoleon. We're just runnin' a little bit late for some prime rib. 674 01:09:56,959 --> 01:09:59,393 - Tell Uncle Rico not to wait up for me. - Here. 675 01:09:59,495 --> 01:10:02,464 You might like that. My cousin made it. 676 01:10:02,565 --> 01:10:05,295 I'll be waitin'outside for you, baby. 677 01:10:07,002 --> 01:10:08,902 Bye, Napoleon. 678 01:10:09,004 --> 01:10:11,268 See ya. 679 01:10:13,409 --> 01:10:17,709 Lafawnduh is the best thing that has ever happened to me. 680 01:10:17,813 --> 01:10:20,509 I'm a hundred percent positive that she's my soul mate. 681 01:10:20,616 --> 01:10:24,347 Napoleon, I'm sure there's a babe out there for you too. 682 01:10:27,223 --> 01:10:29,248 Peace out. 683 01:10:31,894 --> 01:10:33,862 See ya. 684 01:10:52,615 --> 01:10:54,845 Is this what you were looking for? 685 01:10:54,950 --> 01:10:59,478 Nah, I was thinkin'of somethin' a little more... soft around the edges. 686 01:10:59,588 --> 01:11:02,580 Hmm. Well... 687 01:11:02,691 --> 01:11:05,489 I have a nice, soft pink sheet I could hang... 688 01:11:05,594 --> 01:11:10,190 and I could wrap you in some foam or... something billowy? 689 01:11:12,768 --> 01:11:14,793 Yeah, billowy's good. 690 01:11:17,039 --> 01:11:18,939 It'd be really nice... 691 01:11:19,041 --> 01:11:21,703 if I could get the fan going. 692 01:11:21,810 --> 01:11:24,301 I could hang some tinsel from the top. 693 01:11:26,949 --> 01:11:31,613 You know, Deborah, you have... striking features. 694 01:11:31,720 --> 01:11:36,054 Such a soft face should be complimented with a... 695 01:11:36,158 --> 01:11:38,183 soft body. 696 01:11:39,328 --> 01:11:41,990 Mr. Rico? 697 01:11:42,097 --> 01:11:45,692 My friends and clients, they call me "Uncle Rico." 698 01:11:49,004 --> 01:11:50,972 What are you doing? 699 01:11:51,073 --> 01:11:54,042 Shh. Don't say another word. 700 01:11:55,144 --> 01:11:58,079 Napoleon told me you'd be interested. 701 01:12:04,253 --> 01:12:06,414 Napoleon? 702 01:12:06,522 --> 01:12:10,515 You stop wishin', and call me when you're ready. 703 01:12:42,224 --> 01:12:44,124 - Hello? - Napoleon? 704 01:12:44,226 --> 01:12:47,024 - Yeah. Who's this? - It's Deb... 705 01:12:47,129 --> 01:12:49,791 and I'm calling to let you know I think you're a shallow friend. 706 01:12:49,898 --> 01:12:52,799 - What the heck are you even talkin' about? - Don't lie, Napoleon. 707 01:12:52,901 --> 01:12:55,267 Your Uncle Rico made it very clear how you feel about me. 708 01:12:55,371 --> 01:12:56,565 What? 709 01:12:56,672 --> 01:12:59,334 I don't need herbal enhancers to feel good about myself. 710 01:12:59,441 --> 01:13:03,571 And if you're so concerned about that, why don't you try eating some yourself? 711 01:13:13,722 --> 01:13:16,213 Right on. 712 01:13:16,325 --> 01:13:19,385 Grandma just called and said you're supposed to go home. 713 01:13:19,495 --> 01:13:22,589 - She didn't tell me anything. - Too bad. She says she doesn't want you here... 714 01:13:22,698 --> 01:13:26,225 when she gets back because you've been ruining everybody's lives and eatin' all our steak. 715 01:13:26,335 --> 01:13:29,600 - I'm not goin' anywhere, Napoleon. - Get off my property! 716 01:13:29,705 --> 01:13:32,731 It's a free country. I can do whatever I want. 717 01:13:32,841 --> 01:13:35,969 Get off my property, or I'll call the cops on you. 718 01:13:36,078 --> 01:13:38,239 Well, then do it. Go on. 719 01:13:38,347 --> 01:13:40,315 Maybe I will. Gosh! 720 01:13:57,032 --> 01:13:58,932 - Hello? - Pedro? 721 01:13:59,034 --> 01:14:01,434 - How's it goin'? - Good. 722 01:14:01,537 --> 01:14:04,768 Deb just called me. She pretty much hates me by now. 723 01:14:04,873 --> 01:14:07,603 - Why? - 'Cause my Uncle Rico's an idiot! 724 01:14:07,709 --> 01:14:10,041 Do you have anything to give to her? 725 01:14:10,145 --> 01:14:13,637 No, not unless she likes fish. 726 01:14:15,651 --> 01:14:19,018 - Are you still gonna give your speech tomorrow? - Yes. 727 01:14:19,121 --> 01:14:22,613 - Do you already know what you're gonna say? - Yes... 728 01:14:22,724 --> 01:14:24,624 but not all of it. 729 01:14:24,726 --> 01:14:26,694 Just tell 'em that... 730 01:14:28,297 --> 01:14:32,290 their wildest dreams will come true if they vote for you. 731 01:14:32,401 --> 01:14:36,303 I'll see you tomorrow, Pedro. 732 01:14:53,355 --> 01:14:55,516 Dang it.! 733 01:14:55,624 --> 01:14:57,854 What do you think you're doing? 734 01:15:40,636 --> 01:15:46,006 Now, if you look right here, we have SallyJohnson from Manitou, Colorado. 735 01:15:47,609 --> 01:15:49,873 Would you like to read her testimonial right there? 736 01:15:49,978 --> 01:15:51,878 Sure. Um... 737 01:15:51,980 --> 01:15:56,474 "After using Bust Must Plus, I have such big bosoms..." 738 01:15:57,586 --> 01:16:00,316 I don't feel comfortable reading this. 739 01:16:00,422 --> 01:16:03,585 Oh, that's fine. That's fine. 740 01:16:03,692 --> 01:16:06,092 But do you feel comfortable with me? 741 01:16:12,534 --> 01:16:14,798 You could be... 742 01:16:14,903 --> 01:16:18,464 somewhere around, uh... 743 01:16:18,574 --> 01:16:20,599 here. 744 01:16:24,513 --> 01:16:26,413 Come here, boy.! 745 01:16:40,862 --> 01:16:44,059 Well, I never thought I would make it here today. 746 01:16:44,166 --> 01:16:46,259 I would be a great class president because... 747 01:16:46,368 --> 01:16:49,860 I promise to put two new pop machines in the cafeteria, and... 748 01:16:49,972 --> 01:16:53,203 I'm also gonna get a glitter Bonnebell dispenser for all the girls'bathrooms. 749 01:16:53,308 --> 01:16:55,936 Oh, we're gonna get new cheerleading uniforms. 750 01:16:56,044 --> 01:16:59,172 Anyway, I think I'd be a great class president, so, uh... 751 01:16:59,281 --> 01:17:01,476 who wants to eat "chimini-changas" next year? 752 01:17:01,583 --> 01:17:07,112 Not me. See, with me, it will be summer all year long. 753 01:17:07,222 --> 01:17:10,282 Vote for Summer. 754 01:17:19,701 --> 01:17:24,331 And now Summer will perform her skit with members of our very own Happy Hands Club. 755 01:17:26,842 --> 01:17:30,539 Your speech is up next. Your skit had better be pretty good. 756 01:17:30,646 --> 01:17:34,946 - A skit? - You perform a skit after your speech, Pedro. 757 01:17:35,050 --> 01:17:37,780 What? A flippin' skit? 758 01:17:37,886 --> 01:17:40,047 - Why didn't anybody tell us about this? 759 01:18:39,381 --> 01:18:44,318 I don't want to be president anyway. 760 01:18:44,419 --> 01:18:46,944 Pedro, just listen to your heart. 761 01:18:47,055 --> 01:18:49,580 That's what I do. 762 01:18:50,826 --> 01:18:54,421 I'll just tell them that I have nothing to say. 763 01:19:11,379 --> 01:19:13,347 Hello. 764 01:19:15,183 --> 01:19:17,083 I don't have much to say. 765 01:19:17,185 --> 01:19:21,747 But I think it would be good to have some holy santos brought to the high school... 766 01:19:21,857 --> 01:19:25,452 to guard the hallway and to bring us good luck. 767 01:19:25,560 --> 01:19:30,327 El Santo Niño de Atocha is a good one. My Aunt Concha has seen him. 768 01:19:31,466 --> 01:19:33,366 And... 769 01:19:33,468 --> 01:19:36,995 we have a great F.F.A. Schedule lined up... 770 01:19:37,105 --> 01:19:40,131 And I'd like to see more of that. 771 01:19:43,945 --> 01:19:48,473 If you vote for me, all of your wildest dreams will come true. 772 01:19:50,118 --> 01:19:52,279 Thank you. 773 01:20:11,173 --> 01:20:15,200 Up next, I hope you'll enjoy a skit by Pedro Sanchez. 774 01:24:21,923 --> 01:24:23,891 Oh. 775 01:25:41,369 --> 01:25:43,894 I caught you a delicious bass. 776 01:25:48,443 --> 01:25:50,809 You wanna play me? 777 01:29:46,481 --> 01:29:50,850 I, uh, would like to give you this advice. 778 01:29:50,952 --> 01:29:54,080 And a fella give me some years ago. 779 01:29:54,188 --> 01:29:57,715 He said, "When an argument arises... 780 01:29:57,825 --> 01:30:02,353 "if you go outside and take, uh, a nice walk... 781 01:30:02,463 --> 01:30:07,230 "you'll calm down and then you can come back and it won't be an argument. 782 01:30:07,335 --> 01:30:09,462 "And you'll find that helps your health. 783 01:30:09,570 --> 01:30:13,028 All that fresh air and exercise will do you a lot of good." 784 01:30:15,176 --> 01:30:19,112 Is there anything else you'd like to ask about? 785 01:30:23,651 --> 01:30:26,745 Pedro. 786 01:30:27,989 --> 01:30:31,254 - Where the heck's Napoleon? - I don't know. 787 01:30:31,359 --> 01:30:37,127 Lafawnduh Lucas, do you take Kipland Ronald Dynamite... 788 01:30:37,231 --> 01:30:40,428 to be your lawful wedded husband... 789 01:30:40,535 --> 01:30:45,234 to honor in sickness and health till death do you part? 790 01:30:45,339 --> 01:30:47,807 I do. 791 01:30:49,577 --> 01:30:52,876 Kipland Ronald Dynamite... 792 01:30:52,980 --> 01:30:57,212 do you take Lafawnduh Lucas to be your lawful wedded wife... 793 01:30:57,318 --> 01:31:01,584 in sickness and health till death do you part? 794 01:31:01,689 --> 01:31:04,055 You know I do. 795 01:31:05,560 --> 01:31:09,826 By the authority vested in me, I pronounce you man and wife. 796 01:31:10,865 --> 01:31:13,595 You may kiss the bride. 797 01:31:42,463 --> 01:31:45,796 - Why do you love me - 798 01:31:45,900 --> 01:31:49,097 - Why do you need me - 799 01:31:49,203 --> 01:31:51,763 - Always and forever - 800 01:31:51,873 --> 01:31:56,003 - We met in a chat room - 801 01:31:56,110 --> 01:32:00,103 - Now our love can fully bloom - 802 01:32:00,214 --> 01:32:04,116 - Sure the World Wide Web is great... 803 01:32:04,218 --> 01:32:07,619 But you, you make me "salvivate" - 804 01:32:07,722 --> 01:32:11,021 - Yes, I love technology - 805 01:32:11,125 --> 01:32:14,686 - But not as much as you, you see... 806 01:32:14,795 --> 01:32:18,231 - But I still love technology - 807 01:32:18,332 --> 01:32:21,392 - Always and forever - 808 01:32:21,502 --> 01:32:24,562 - Our love is like a flock of doves - 809 01:32:24,672 --> 01:32:28,039 - Flying up to heaven above - 810 01:32:28,142 --> 01:32:31,373 - Always and forever... 811 01:32:31,479 --> 01:32:34,380 - Always and forever - 812 01:32:34,482 --> 01:32:37,474 - Yes, our love is truly great - 813 01:32:37,585 --> 01:32:40,213 - Always and forever... 814 01:32:41,322 --> 01:32:44,849 - Why do you need me... 815 01:32:44,959 --> 01:32:48,395 ... Why do you love me... 816 01:33:34,041 --> 01:33:35,941 Sorry I'm late. 817 01:33:36,043 --> 01:33:39,410 I just got done taming a wild honeymoon stallion for you guys. 818 01:33:39,513 --> 01:33:41,708 Hmm. 819 01:33:43,250 --> 01:33:46,583 Hey, Deb, can you take a photo of me on the horse real quick? 820 01:33:46,687 --> 01:33:50,123 Sure. 821 01:33:51,525 --> 01:33:54,050 Thanks. 822 01:34:09,176 --> 01:34:12,771 I hope your guys's experiences are unforgettable. 823 01:34:12,880 --> 01:34:15,940 Hmm. 824 01:34:16,050 --> 01:34:19,577 Lookee, lookee. A little keepsake for you guys. 825 01:34:35,736 --> 01:34:37,931 Lucky.